Page 1 of 2
#1
I was surfing the web when I came across this list. So much bullshit it makes me throw up.

99 SECRETS GIRLS HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GUYS


1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat
and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're
not thinking the way he is.

No. It just means that he doesn't understand you.

5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the
first usual questions a guy asks on the
phone just to get out from stammering.

6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about.

Actually, we think about the most good looking one because it's the best one to <not for little kids>

7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad
characteristics.

8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile .

9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

Replace guys with girls and girls with guys

10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one habit to gain courage and spirit to
tell you many things and it is drinking!

I never got even close to be drunk.

13. Guys cry!!!

Holly shit I thought that we are made of stone and don't have feelings !

14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

Tell it to Leonardo Da vinci, Thomas Edison, Jean-Marie Le Bris, Jules Verne, Albert Einstein...

16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this
makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

Most of us just accept the defeat and move on.

17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

WTF is that supposed to mean?

18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never
mind!" would make him jump to a
conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

Change hands with ****

20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when
they talk to a girl they really like.

It may happen until they are 15+ years old.

21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're
asking him to do you a favor,
he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay
down the card for you.

Nope. He is just seeing if he can make you a favor. Even if we love you, we're not your slaves.

22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

I call on BULLSHIT

23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.

Change guy with Girl

24. Guys hate gays!

Most of us don't have problems with gays. From where you got that stupid conclusion?

25. Guys love their moms.

No shit! They are our moms! Why wouldn't we love them?

26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple
of roses.

27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
mean that the guy likes her.

28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.



30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of
the earth faster than girls can.

Dream on

31. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

32. Guys are very open about themselves.

33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let
him wait that long.

34. No guy is bad when he is courting

35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

Most of us aren't stupid fashion elitists. Most of us will not give a **** if we get dirty.

36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
much pretty.

37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his
problems with you may end up being
admired by your boyfriend.



38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases
you.

40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

Most of us aren't obsessed zombies.

41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily
get the wrong one.



43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

I found a picture of a friend of mine in a lesbian act over the internet, and NEVER told anyone about it, and never will. Yeah. We DO know to keep secrets.

45. Guys think too much.

46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. So watch out girls!!!

49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard
for him to let go of that girl.

50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke
up especially when they've been together
for 3 years or more.

51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved
with that guy.

52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's
too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt,
he won't be matured and grow up.

Tell it to a priest.

53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot
more than girls do. They could even
hurt themselves physically.

54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

Actually, more guys succeed to stop smoking than girls do. Speaking about will power?

55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their girlfriends.

56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll
probably see that he is nervous .

57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying,
"Please come and listen to me"

Can't we have some moments alone?

59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but
court the girls anyway and then realize at the
end that he is wrong.



64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.



65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

Yeah. Big boned girls with a lot of muscles aren't the type of most guys.

66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure
unless the girl tells him.

67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way
a girl would do over her romance
novels and make-ups.

Because girls don't play video games. Right?

68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!



70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

Like any human being.

71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your
advantage.



72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of
rejection.

Didn't you say before that a "no" for a guy is a "I'll try tomorrow"?

73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be
surprised.

Continuation in the next post
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||

#2


Whoever wrote that needs to go outside and see a shrink

Quote by urik
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.



████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#3
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than
attracting guys.

75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is
about girls.

76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

Check point number 72 and slap yourself.

77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable
decisions but still love them more.

78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he
finds them offending and he just tried to
be polite.

79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know
them,they'll realize they're wrong.

81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too
stubborn to deal with it.

82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

Actually, it's pretty cool for us.

83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

Ever heard about the nuts?

84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is
already thinking of a way out.

85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at
fixing things.



86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's
criticizing you.

Chances are that he's visualizing you naked.

87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance,
give it to him. But when you catch
him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

Maybe he just is sick of you?

89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at
you and it obviously shows that he is
jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your
boy best friend loves you more than
your boyfriend does.

Just because he wants to fornicate with you means that he loves you more than your boyfriend ?

90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls
read and take as their basis of experience.

No shit !

91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in
front of you!

92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

Isn't it clear why?

93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even
just for one night, hang up. He also tells
that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun
of you.

94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.

You know that a lot of rapists are religious. Right?

95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

/me calls on bullshit

96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your
relationships.




Well I can't believe I spent like 30 minutes writing this post =\
Anyway, opinions?
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||

#8
Quote by iremain60
wow.


+1
[22:33] ben: Yesterday I was gonna eat a shitload of candy but I forgot.
#9
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know
them,they'll realize they're wrong.


Yeah, you're saying this when you just generalized about guys 99 times.

Stupid bitch.
#10
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Yeah, you're saying this when you just generalized about guys 99 times.

Stupid bitch.


I can't believe I missed that one !
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||

#11
Quote by urik

Well I can't believe I spent like 30 minutes writing this post =\
Anyway, opinions?

Um... Copy and paste?? lol, pwnt...
#12
When I saw the thread title I thought he was talking about the pit

Those "99 things" were written by a woman or a gay.
#14
its a stupid list but i dont overally mind it, as it seems to make us men to be quite a good group. its a happy change from the usual "men are the cause of everything wrong in the world" feminist cr*p
#15
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

yeah I always go for the girls on the chess team.
#17
Quote by xolax
Um... Copy and paste?? lol, pwnt...


I wrote a lot of comments with sarcasm in a lot of the points of that text
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||

#18
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

only if shes a milf
#19
Quote by urik
I found a picture of a friend of mine in a lesbian act over the internet, and NEVER told anyone about it, and never will. Yeah. We DO know to keep secrets.


That made me laugh the most...and it was soo obvious

Actually a lot of that i can see as true for some guys, like some of them that you added your own "personal touch" i could actually say "no i agreed with the first statement"...anyway thankyou for the pointless list...it made me laugh
#20
Quote by urik

44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

I found a picture of a friend of mine in a lesbian act over the internet, and NEVER told anyone about it, and never will. Yeah. We DO know to keep secrets.



Can we have proof please

And very good job by the way
#21
These are my Faves:
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much
33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let
him wait that long....test? in a lab?
86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's
criticizing you. so everytime i stare at my teacher i....?
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why. LOL wtf...

#23
Quote by YourMessiah666
Can we have proof please

And very good job by the way


It'd go against what I wrote in that point
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||

#24
yea some of the points i could see, but at least 80% or more of this list are absolute shit
#25
Quote by urik
It'd go against what I wrote in that point


Well, you did already tell an entire online community about your friend's lesbian affair, soo...


PWNED!
#26
Didn't Shea do something exactly like this?

@Rockford_rocks

Rockford, IL?
Quote by Zinnie
god placed the fossils in earth to confuse the humans into thinking that earth is older than it actually is, therefore, making men try and think outside the box....

just kidding, there is no god



www.youtube.com/user/andrew12398
#27
Quote by andrew12398
Didn't Shea do something exactly like this?

@Rockford_rocks

Rockford, IL?


Naw, Rockford MI.

I get that a lot.
#28
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Well, you did already tell an entire online community about your friend's lesbian affair, soo...


PWNED!


But you don't know me, and you don't her name.
+ Don't try to hack my pc because the pic is guarded in a flash memory. + Don't try to get into my house to get the flash memory because my house has alarms (actually it doesn't have. But it's meant to scare you)
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||
||||||||||||||||||||

#29
I thought most of that was pretty much correct...maybe like 15 or 20 things that didn't seem right....
"Hate is just baggage, lifes too short to be pissed off at everybody all the time." - American History X

Founder of the official Liquid Tension Experiment club, PM me to join!

In Soviet Russia, Acid Trips You!
#30
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

I found a picture of a friend of mine in a lesbian act over the internet, and NEVER told anyone about it, and never will. Yeah. We DO know to keep secrets.


Pics or it didn't happen..

EDIT: damn...
Quote by scheck006
If UG had rep I'd give it to you.


Quote by zetaspartan2552
sounds like your mom suffers from mental retardation.


Gear:

Fender Precision Bass
Epiphone LP Special
Peavey Special 212 Guitar Amp
Cube-100 Bass Amp
Line 6 Floor Pod
Bongos
#31
Quote by urik
But you don't know me, and you don't her name.
+ Don't try to hack my pc because the pic is guarded in a flash memory. + Don't try to get into my house to get the flash memory because my house has alarms (actually it doesn't have. But it's meant to scare you)


Alright, fine, You win.



*Un-Pwned*


Z-edit: you kept the pic?
Last edited by Rockford_rocks at Mar 18, 2007,
#32
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Naw, Rockford MI.

I get that a lot.

Really? I didn't know there were actually any people here who live around there.
Quote by Zinnie
god placed the fossils in earth to confuse the humans into thinking that earth is older than it actually is, therefore, making men try and think outside the box....

just kidding, there is no god



www.youtube.com/user/andrew12398
#33
Quote by andrew12398
Really? I didn't know there were actually any people here who live around there.

Ya Rly.

Why, you live near here? That'd be cool, I know another UGer around here.
#34
I live about 45 minutes away from Rockford IL, there's no UGer that lives in my town, I'd know if there was
Quote by Zinnie
god placed the fossils in earth to confuse the humans into thinking that earth is older than it actually is, therefore, making men try and think outside the box....

just kidding, there is no god



www.youtube.com/user/andrew12398
#35
Quote by andrew12398
I live about 45 minutes away from Rockford IL, there's no UGer that lives in my town, I'd know if there was


Same here, except MAYBE one, i don't know if he was BSing me or not. It sucks, i have no one to jam with except two guys that suck, and the lead guitarist in my band
#37
Guys can't keep secrets? Guys revel in the enjoyment of knowing something other people don't. Girls on the other hand... this scenario may seem familiar:

Girl: ok you've gotta promise you won't tell ANYONE, she'll kill me if she found out i told you!
Guy: ok whatever, just tell me then
Girl: *huddled whispering for several minutes* ...can you believe that?
Guy: er... yeah
Girl: so remember, you can't tell ANYONE ELSE!
Guy: ok *walks off*

5 minutes later...

Guy 2: hey what's up
Girl: omg you won't believe this, but you've gotta promise you won't tell ANYONE

...and so the cycle continues.
Quote by Felkara
Dude, you just made the most intelligent post in this entire thread. Congrats.
#38
there were some good obsevations in there.
"The only solace to the miseries of life is Music and Cats". Albert Schwietzer
#39
Quote by Rockford_rocks
Same here, except MAYBE one, i don't know if he was BSing me or not. It sucks, i have no one to jam with except two guys that suck, and the lead guitarist in my band

Ninjam ftw
Quote by Zinnie
god placed the fossils in earth to confuse the humans into thinking that earth is older than it actually is, therefore, making men try and think outside the box....

just kidding, there is no god



www.youtube.com/user/andrew12398
#40
Quote by RHCP93
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

only if shes a milf

No thats true, ull see it when u get older. i get scared everytime im attracted to a girl that has a hint of mom to her.
Page 1 of 2