#1
Story:
This is my friend Will's song. He wrote it, and I asked him to put it on here. I only take credit for putting it on here.

and so i sit here singing tonight
and then i'm asked to stop
i cant believe i thought that it would be alright
because obviously its not
why why why why

i sat here, singing all night
i thought that life would be better
i tried to believe, i but try as i might
i eventually saw your letter

i saw that letter and swore to myself
that no tears would fall from my eyes
ive found my poor self stuck in hell
if only i just knew why

why why why why
and so i sit here, singing tonight
and then im asked to stop
i cant believe i thought that it would be alright
because obviously its not
why why why why

i sat here, singing till morning
trying to snap my phone in half
the long wait was a warning
but my guts kicked its sorry ass

i knew i meant it when i said what i said
and now i no longer have to wait
at the moment i feel pretty dead
like i've become something that i ate

why why why why
and so i sit here, singing tonight
and then i'm asked to stop
i cant believe i thought it would be alright
because obviously it's not
because i sit here, singing tonight
and then i'm asked to stop
i cant believe i thought it would be alright
because obviously it's not

....it's not.
#2
This song is very good. The only part I would consider changing are the why why why parts or maybe it fits with the music. I think if I could hear the music, I could be a better judge, but based on content alone, this is great.
#3
Thanks for the crit. Sorry it took so long for me to get to this. Anyways, I thought this was a pretty good piece. Nothing spectucalr, but not bad either. Personally, I would get down the number of "why's". I think it might get kind of annoying and sound like the singer's bitching. Anyways, the language is pretty straightforward, but it still sounds nice. And the flow seems to pretty tight. Well, tell your friend he did a pretty good job here, and I'm looking forward to reading something from you.