#1
well my parents got divorced about 10 years ago and my mom became a single mother without a job after she quit being an executive at Busch Beer where she was making 6 figures. My mom got a job and has been raising us for those 10 years. We've been living the middle class life with a descent sized house and a few goodies here and there. Well about a year ago she started to get kinda depressed and we started to go bankrupt. She is about a month away from filing for bankruptcy and she is working at a job she hates. We are moving soon to try and get some extra cash. My mom asked my dad if he could lend her some money so she can at least live her until she gets this house on the market. My dad promptly says "no, i dont have any money". this is the response she gets even though he has about 4 houses, three of which are being rented out to people.

Yesterday, my brother went to Panera to get us some sandwhiches for lunch and he sees my dad talking with some guy. He sits in the booth next to them (my dad still doesnt know hes there) My dad was planning on buying a 600,000 condo for people to rent out. My brother imediatly gets pissed off and goes "HEY DAD!" and he says " oh um......hi there son" and gets this weird look on his face like "oh shit, im caught". so while my mom is filing for bankruptcy, my dad is off buying luxury condos for people. Does anyone else feel this is completely wrong! This guy is always telling me how much he loves me and is so proud of me, yet, he doesnt even have the respect for my mom to give her some money to help US, HIS SONS, live a little better!

Can anyone help me see what my dad is thinking?


EDIT: and no, im not some spoiled rich kid, ive been working since i was 11 and have been buying myself things ever since, very rarely using my parents money
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Last edited by WlCmToTheJungle at Mar 18, 2007,
#2
That's ****ed up, but all to often the love for the sons is superceded by the hate for the ex missus

EDIT: If you're so poor, why doesn't your brother just buy bread and you all make your own sammiches for 1/10 of the price?
#3
What a douche.

Can't your mom do something through the courts about that?
If she is bankrupt and he is rich, can't support payments be upped?
#4
Id of punched him.
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#5
Quote by mr.joopy987
What a douche.

Can't your mom do something through the courts about that?
If she is bankrupt and he is rich, can't support payments be upped?



no, she has already tried, and she cant get a new job either because her credit is terrible

also, do u have any ideas of how i can bring this up and really hit him hard with all this information i have
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#6
Quote by WlCmToTheJungle
no, she has already tried, and she cant get a new job either because her credit is terrible

also, do u have any ideas of how i can bring this up and really hit him hard with all this information i have

Just confront him.
Say "Hey dad, I know what you are doing. I know you just bought a 600 grand house, and I hope you feel real great about that while we are going bankrupt."

Do it in public for full effect.
#7
oh and i DO have his credit card number, if that helps
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#8
Seems to me he can do what he wants with his money, as long as he's paying child support. Maybe your mother should be a little more responsible with her finances.
#9
Quote by IamIronMan88
Seems to me he can do what he wants with his money, as long as he's paying child support. Maybe your mother should be a little more responsible with her finances.



hmmm yea, that few hundred bucks really puts a big dent in the finances of 3 boys and herself.......................she makes about $20,000 a year, tahts not a lot if you didnt know
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#10
Damn, dude....I know how you feel about moving and having limited funds and all.

Well, we've never been good off, but my dad's been gone since I was 3, never pays child support (well, HARDLY pays child support) he's been taken to court about 3 times, and he still says "He can't afford it" when he's working pretty steady, lives alone, and in some hotel room for about a $100 bucks a week.

We're about to move for our 6th time in 3 and 1/2 years also. This time it's going to last, because my mom's got some financial help and all, and my sister's going to be living with her new husband, so it will at least be cheaper for us to live some.

Hang in there, and confront your dad.

If you're not afraid to speak your mind to him, do it. Whether it changes him or not, he'll always will hsave to live with the way you feel about him. Because the words of a son to a father, no matter what they are, stay with them.

My dad never calls, but he knows I think he's lousy.
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#11
Quote by WlCmToTheJungle
hmmm yea, that few hundred bucks really puts a big dent in the finances of 3 boys and herself.......................she makes about $20,000 a year, tahts not a lot if you didnt know

Uh, I dont know where you live but here If someone is paying child support for three kids its like 30 % of their income. Seeing as your dad should be making all this money with all his condos and shit, you guys should be seeing quite a lot of that money as well. If not, then I feel bad for you because you're getting screwed over. Consult a laywer perhaps.
#12
Quote by IamIronMan88
Uh, I dont know where you live but here If someone is paying child support for three kids its like 30 % of their income. Seeing as your dad should be making all this money with all his condos and shit, you guys should be seeing quite a lot of that money as well. If not, then I feel bad for you because you're getting screwed over. Consult a laywer perhaps.



well all my mom receives is i think, $350, i cant remember how much was on the check she got, but no she is DEFINENTLY not receiving 30% and theyve been to court many times about this so i dunno what is going on
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#13
Well that is definatly sad thing, im in the same boat sort of because my father just got a 1/4 million dollars along side his close to 100 000 dollar job already and i havent gotten anything. My mom is going through cancer and because the government is so f ed up here in Ontario Canada, we're having to fight just for finacial assistance from them. My brother is going off to university nextyear and we havent gotten any money from my father for that either.

I would say court but i donno what the system is like down there. In my case we;re goign to go after him for money that is sopposed ot be ours from an old court settlement that was done right at the divorce.

I would say go to court but that might be hard finacially. So talk to him make it clear where you will be with this bankruptcy, and everything like that. Sit him down and talk to him calmly but very matter of fact and to the point. If he doesnt do anything then, if i were you, just go apeshit and curse him out? Another idea is you can make posters ( regular computer paper size is good ) saying :

Hi my name is ( then put his first name, BUT NOT HIS LAST)
i currently own (the number) of houses which i rent out to people for profit
I am currently divorced with 2 boys who live with their mother and are soon to be living on the street
They are filing for bankrupcy and i am doin nothing about it
i have also ( then list shit that he has dont to your family, not paying support and exctra)
(then put any other information you can think of that he ahs done)
I buy large half million dollar condos to rent out to rich people but i cant rent/lend one to my ex wife and my kids to keep them off the streets
I love my kids very much with all my heart
I live at ( then the house number and street)


Post these around his neighbour hood at night, like telephone poles and stuff and make sure to put one right by his car so he will see it for sure. Tape them up with clear packaging tape to the poles so they will never come off ( that tapes a bitch to take off)
and just put them up everywhere like 20 of them all over the place and a bit spreadout in the neighbourhood. Along with the stuff about put in anything else you can think of like if hes disappeared for months/years at a time and shit.
I did this to my father when he decided to pay for support and we were barely getting by, very fun thing to be doing at 2 inthe morning
but seriously do this it helped us, the day after i did this we got our support payment and a months back payment

Good luck bro i hope it helps
#14
my mom is schizophrenic and I had to live in a van with her for two years when I was in high school. she didn't have a job. my parents are divorced and he stopped paying child support. we had been evicted from four studio apartments. one day, when I was 15, she called 911 and said I was trying to commit suicide (not true). I was put in a mental hospital for a month, and even though there was no reason to keep me there, my mom disappeared and my dad didn't care. eventually, I got a social worker, and through some morons negligence, they mistakenly put me into a rehab...for two years. I was in a lock down facility. for two years of my fu life. I called my social workers (over the years, they kept switching them up) everytime I got a phone call (once a week) to try to get placed into a regular group home. they didn't care. so I was in a level 12 rehab. can't talk to you friends, can't have money, a phone, keys, can't go outside, can't watch tv, can't read when you want to, can't be in your room, can't go to the bathroom alone, people restraining you and free to search you whenever they feel like it, school in the basement. (good times!)

eventually, I got myself kicked out, and placed into a group home until I was 18.

I hope that makes you feel better. and I hope your family gets through this. my advice, sue your father for back child support. he can afford it.
#15
Quote by WlCmToTheJungle
well all my mom receives is i think, $350, i cant remember how much was on the check she got, but no she is DEFINENTLY not receiving 30% and theyve been to court many times about this so i dunno what is going on

350 a week or a month? If its weekly then thats not bad.
#16
Quote by BrianApocalypse
But all to often the love for the sons is superceded by the hate for the ex missus


That's so true it almost makes me wanna cry.
Poor advice.
#17
Quote by IamIronMan88
350 a week or a month? If its weekly then thats not bad.



a month of course


and another thing that gets my pissed off about this is that we ****ing saved his life. He was an alcoholic for years and we finally got him into a rehab center in minnesota which was supposedly one of the best in the country. If it werent for us, he would had pissed his money down the toilet
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#18
Quote by WlCmToTheJungle
a month of course


Really? Seriously, get a lawyer on that. ESPECIALLY with his income.

My dad does odd jobs and get's paid about $200 or less a week, and he's expected to pay about 500+ per month by court order.

Something CAN'T be right about this whole situation.
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#19
Mug your dad......He basically disowned you so return the favor...
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#21
Quote by Doofag
Whatever you do, NEVER file for bankruptcy


If it's your first time filing, it's not that bad. Your credit is affected for 7 years I think?

As for your dad, I'm pretty sure you can take him to court and get back payments, too. If he just doesn't pay what he's supposed to, his wages should be garnished, although it sounds like he's a self-employed landlord?

One note on being a landlord, it's not as great a business as you seem to think it is. Unless this guy is straight out buying a $600k condo, most landlords make under minimum wage when you factor in mortgage payments and all of the extra shit that you never knew owning a house costs, and then all of the time they spend tending to tenants random complaints.

Your mother can probably attest to how much it costs to own a house, and your father can afford 5 of them? Something doesn't really add up ....
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#22
Quote by BrianApocalypse
That's ****ed up, but all to often the love for the sons is superceded by the hate for the ex missus

EDIT: If you're so poor, why doesn't your brother just buy bread and you all make your own sammiches for 1/10 of the price?

errr maybe they're spoiled?
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#23
Quote by BladeSlinger
Mug your dad......He basically disowned you so return the favor...


Yep. I'm with him.
#24
Suck it up. The only time I ever got to go near Panera was when the Shriners van stopped at Burger King next to Panera's to get food before we'd go to Erie to surgerize my shoulder. My Father inherited hundreds of thousands of dollars which was meant for the FAMILY which he blew on beer and his "book store". My Mother has been ****ed up and ill for years and we've been living on welfare recently, living with my Aunt in a neighborhood in Detroit where I got beaten badly for being white. I have to worry about my safety everytime I go to bed and everytime I leave the house, and the only way I can get out of my surroundings is by joining the Marines. Meanwhile, my Mother and Sister will probably freeze to death since we can't afford heat, or starve. Yeah, **** your problems...
#25
My moms been on welfare for as long as I can remember, I've don't know my dad and he hasn't paid child support at all for my whole life span. We've been moving in and out of apartment for about 14 years or as far as I can remember. Hell we've even been homeless before but we were extremely lucky my older brother paid for a motel were we could of stayed at for one night. A couple of years back my mom befriended some crack head on the street and...well she became one to its gotten so bad that I saw he OD on the bathroom floor...trust its a scary sight and nothing is worse than that. So now instead of buying stuff like milk or bread, she goes off in the middle of the night to go buy some crack thus wasting all the money we have knowing how it almost killed her that night. Some how i've managed to get this far without killing myself and honestly I do love my life. All of this happened when I was 10 or so, I had to keep on making up lies about why we were moving, why we didn't have a car, and why my mom doesn't work, thats way to much stress for a ten year old to handle. Once you been homeless and basically have no one else to turn to except your brother who's the same age as you.

Things have gotten better as my mom has stopped doing drugs and soon i'll be going to college and can help out financially.


When these things happend you learn to suck it up and not be a little bitch about it.

</rant>

really though the internet isn't the place to talk about these things find a counselor who will listen to you...I personally didn't but thats probably why i'm so ****ed up in the head.

again sorry its late and i've got nothing to do.
#26
dude im so depressed when i read your story man. That was so f*cked up taking it to the curt will just aggreviate the situation because of financial s*it. dude im with you just believe in God and in karma. Eventually your family will be living good just do all the things you need to do to help and it will eventually pay off.

my family was like that before. I was studying in a private school with an overprice tuition fee until my father resigned and my mother didn't pay her debts. We transfered into a smaller house and i was forced to go to a public school. Those were my darkest days until we strived hard to earn money and now we are so getting up.

So dude you can do it man. Be kind to your father and tell him that he was doing good and you and youre family is so moving on becasue if it is his being like that you got nothing elso to do but to move on with yourself and someday you'll just tell yourself that it was better off without him. Get a job
#27
Quote by stellar_legs
That's so true it almost makes me wanna cry.


i agree 100% as well. An ex can completely ruin your outlook on things, but you have to stand your ground as a loving parent and think of your kids surroundings, even though it means to also help your ex at the same time. i am separated and a parent and i currently deal with this issue on a daily basis. my sons mother is completely unstable.
Last edited by 7PlaGues at Mar 21, 2007,