#1
Yes, yes I am a mob boss and yes, I will appear on 20/20 in a few weeks. I just decided to share my story with all of you, my life story. It all began long ago......

I was a young lad, an innocent lad, a bystander who had no faults. Then I met him. A man they called Jimbo. All he did was Stay Alive, the cops couldn't get to him and I helped him a few times in his goin's. I got shot though. He left me for dead and while I took the rap he walked free. I swore revenge. 10 years later I got outta da joint and met little Al. He hooked me up wit some big guns and pretty soon I had some power. I found out dat Jimbo had moved to New York and was makin' it big. I followed him and walked in on him and a 5'2 300 lb. lady doin' the nasty's. I brought out my tommy gun and walked towards him:
"I found ya Jimbo, ya dirty rat!"
"Lenny? Little Lenny? Come on man, what did I eva do da you?"
"You left me with a bum rap Jimbo. And its payup time...."
I unleashd a torrent of bullets and hit him twice, he fell, dead. I laughed and said...
"Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal, HAHAAHHa!"
#5
the fail is strong in this one
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