#1
I wrote this ots, but i want to make something of it. it's a personal song for me so ANY crits no matter how harsh as long as they are productive are welcome.

V1
They say nothing lasts forever
and baby i guess it's true
but i thought we would last
i thought i would be with you

V2
we're still so young
plenty of time to choose
who's the one for us
now i guess it's not you

Ch
and things change,
time passes by
as the world spins,
it's our time,
time to say goodbye

V3
i know we've been here before
said it was the biggest mistake of my life
but man sometimes i think,
had we ended, we would have avoided this fight

Ch
And things change,
time passes by
as the world spins,
it's our time,
time to say goodbye

V4
This is coming from my heart
you've got to believe it's true
that baby there was no one,
no one but you

Ch
oh But things can change,
time passes by
as the world spins,
it's our time,
time to say goodbye

Thanks for reading, crit for crit i guess
Last edited by Cyclones41 at Jun 8, 2007,
#2
Quote by Cyclones41
I wrote this ots, but i want to make something of it. it's a personal song for me so ANY crits no matter how harsh as long as they are productive are welcome.

V1
They say nothing lasts forever
and baby i guess it's true
but i thought we would last
i thought i would be with you

L1 very cliche
L3 try whein i thought if it would last , will i be with u

V2
we're still so young
plenty of time to choose
the right one for us
now i guess it's not you

L2 is a bit forced

Ch
and things change,
time passes by
as the world spins,
it's our time,
time to say goodbye

Didn't really buy the chorus


V3
i know we've been here before
said it was the biggest mistake of my life
but man sometimes i think,
had we ended, we would have avoided this fight

ok but can be much better

Ch
And things change,
time passes by
as the world spins,
it's our time,
time to say goodbye

V4
This is coming from my heart
you've got to believe it's true
that baby there was no one,
no one but you

Ch
oh But things can change,
time passes by
as the world spins,
it's our time,
time to say goodbye

Thanks for reading, crit for crit i guess



overall sort of a cliche but with bit of a work it can be much better
Hi
#3
i like it dude. keep it up.
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