#1
There's plenty more writing coming. Nothing is more inspirational than leaving the place you live. First person to point out that thoughts is the same as whatever you're thinking gets a cookie.

I know this isn't exactly 'poetic', but I'll get back to writing poetry/prose soon.

Love Songs on the Radio


You could take the long drive home,
To sort out your thoughts or whatever you're thinking.
I can't remember the last time we talked
Without it ending in an argument or me trying to be convincing.

I never said that I didn't love you,
But I never did apologize.

Find me where
The ocean meets the land to form the horizon...
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you anywhere but a town that we both hate.

You could take the long drive home,
To try to fall in love with anyone you pass
He probably seemed charming when you first met
But if its love then why does it never last?

Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone,
And maybe we will find ourselves again.

And maybe someday you'll understand,
But for now I'd be content just to hold your hand.
And maybe someday you'll understand,
But for now I'd be content just to hold your hand.

Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone.

Just because you're falling asleep next to him,
It does not make it love.
#2
I normally like to leave full crits, but this says so much to me right now, and I couldn't have said it any better. So I guess all i have to say is thanks, thanks for writing this.
Stay quiet...
#3
Ret this is the sort of stuff I love from you.

I'll be back.

EDIT!

Love Songs on the Radio

You could take the long drive home,
To sort out your thoughts or whatever you're thinking.
I can't remember the last time we talked
Without it ending in an argument or me trying to be convincing.
Great first stanza imo. Nice rhyme. Third line has been written many times before though- perhaps you could find a more original way of putting it.

I never said that I didn't love you,
But I never did apologize.
Nice. Though kind of feels lacking compared to the opener.

Find me where
The ocean meets the land to form the horizon...
Eh, this second line is a bit bleh for me. Too wishy-washy haha.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you anywhere but a town that we both hate.
Last line also feels too literal. I don't think "hate" fits into this piece. I'd like to see a bit more subtlty here.

You could take the long drive home,
To try to fall in love with anyone you pass
He probably seemed charming when you first met
But if its love then why does it never last?
IMO this... was boring. Really, I didn't think it was original or exciting or strong in any way.

Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone,
And maybe we will find ourselves again.
Prefer this to the first chorus, though last line is overused imo.

And maybe someday you'll understand,
But for now I'd be content just to hold your hand.
And maybe someday you'll understand,
But for now I'd be content just to hold your hand.
Relatable, and good. I like this bridge, no complaints here.

Find me where
The sunrise meets the town that I grew up in.
Lend me your hand,
I'll take you to a place where we can be alone.

Just because you're falling asleep next to him,
It does not make it love.
I love this last line.

Overall I liked it, bar that verse I pointed out and a couple of what I felt were cliche, overused lines.

If you could get to the one in my sig, 'twould be appreciated. Many thanks.
Last edited by Jammydude44 at Mar 20, 2007,