#2
the writers....: your recording quality is pretty horrendous, but the song itself is cool, although i would have liked to hear more varyation.

torn apart: the riff is cool but you seem to have trouble finishing it? maybe work on that riff some more cause it sounds cool

crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=8636189#post8636189
Too cool for a signature.
#3
Writers: sounded a little repetetive but not bad. a good song.

torn apart: pretty bad recording quality. a times the sound was kinda muffled but it was still a nice song.

we will rise: this song sounded like you were out of time some on it. i didnt really care for the power chords on it much but its your song. it still sounded pretty good and i liked it better than Writers.
#4
yeah, without vocals its quite hard to judge.
The acoustic songs do sound like they have promise, but without vocals (or any other instruments for that matter) they are very dull.
#6
Writers : Sounds nice, but I was constantly expecting vocals to come in. You should fix that up ASAP.

Torn : Again, nice opening riff, but it fades towards the end. Poor recording quality (on a camera mic? come on..)

We Will Rise : Good opening, but like 'Torn' it sort of...goes nowhere.

So, my advice would be to buy a new microphone, and perhaps start seriously looking for a band that can help develop your ideas.
#7
'eh. Couple kinda neat riffs. Personally, I find the electric one to be kind of boring just because those kind of riffs are generally fairly easy to write and sound very similar without any major accents. The acoustic ones sounds kinda neat. I liked the technique where you moved up and down the one string so you could play the one below it open the whole time to get a bit of a cool tone. Mess around with that a little more.
Main Gear:
Cort G-Series 254
Takamine EG345C 12-String
Fender Squier P-Bass

Peavey Classic 50
Laney HCM65B

$75 Junk Drums w/ B8 Hats/Crash/Ride
#8
we will rise is kinda boring, maybe if you had other parts it would be more interesting, but the guitar by itself is a bit bland

you also seem to jumping around a lot in tempo and time signature, try and iron out some of those transitions
#9
Writers - awful lotta noise. some nice progressions, and I like the well, heavier, part, I think you know what I mean. It gets boring without vocals or a guitar playing a melody on top of it (hint)

Torn apart - again lots of noise but nevermind. Interesting riff, sound like it's in an odd tim-signature though I can't be sure. You seem to jumping around a lot as far as tempo and beat are concerned in this one. Also your guitar tone is pretty muddy, but that could be due to your recording circumstances. Again it gets a little boring without a melody on to, possibly played by a guitar.

We will rise - the guitar sounds a little muddy as before. interesting chord progression though. I like it. My favourite of the three by far bacuse of the chord progressions.

Mind Critting mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=545043
#10
Yah cam mike sucks. I've been looking and no one in my small town can play or is even serious about it. I know listening to it without vocals sounds bad and im sorry. I think they would all be better if I actually had a band or other plays to help me build from them.

Since I have to work alone for the time being do you guys have suggestions on what I should do from here?
#11
Thanks for critting my song dude. I liked your acoustic songs more than the electric one because it was pretty fuzzy/bad quality and kind of repetitive. The acoustic ones sounded pretty good though. I hope you find a drummer and singer, that would be cool
#12
Hey, mind returning my crit? Click on my name in my signature. Thanks
Main Gear:
Cort G-Series 254
Takamine EG345C 12-String
Fender Squier P-Bass

Peavey Classic 50
Laney HCM65B

$75 Junk Drums w/ B8 Hats/Crash/Ride
#13
Hey,

Writers sounds good, but it sounds a bit empty without anything else in there. like with torn apart, a really simple drum track and vocals will certainly liven up the song a lot and make it whole. I like the tempo change in the middle.

Some cool progressions on torn apart. Put that with even a simple drum track and it should sound already a lot more whole. The recording is certainly pretty muddy, but you have to start somewhere. The song has potential for sure.

We will rise is nice too, but it sounds too much like writers i think. If you changed it more by doing stuff like you started doing at around 1:20, it would sound more varied.
Overall your stuff definately has potential to sound really good, you just need to polish it off a bit, maybe add some lyrics or a basic drum track.

Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=549865
#14
I dont know man.

Did you use a mic infront of youre amp to record ?
The sound quality sucks , sorry.
Try playing straight into the souncard and use some good VSTs
Green Machine II is the cheapest (because easy to crack) and best man.
Everything on my song Double man was done with it.
I dont know , you realy need some vocals if just power chords you
know.
The quality pretty much ruins it , hook up yiur gear first ,after youre done with that recording will be easy and fun

Please check out my song "Double Man"
#15
Torn apart:

Cool intro riff, but your tone is really bad. You should fix your EQ a little more. I really wish there were some drums though.

Overall, pretty good riffage, but you need to work on tone, sound quality and add drums.
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#17
Writers has a few cool riffs, but maybe instead of vocals, you can layer a guitar melody.

Torn apart has a really good rhythmic basis, and the tempo changes are good. They would obviously be better with drums, but what can you do?

We will Rise starts off pretty well. The droning bass strings do their job. I can half imagine it as a Zeppelin song.

The main problem is the lack of accompaniment. Might I suggest overdubbing some solos or melodies over all the songs? That would make them 100% more interesting. Try and use them as a point to begin developing the collection of riffs you have into songs. Otherwise, learn to sing. I still can't sing great, but I still am the singer in my band.

Crit Mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=552994
#18
I agree with a few ppl in this thread. Writers... does have a very similar rythym to we will rise and I kept confusing those 2 songs up because of that. But We will rise can be a great song no doubt, you just need to write some lyrics with a good melody on top of it to seperate the two and it will be great. Once you add bass and drums it'll be set but ya I know that's a long shot but just use your imagination for now. So far I'm liking your syle though good job man
#19
Hey, thanks for the crit

Unfortunately, I've already crit yours
Main Gear:
Cort G-Series 254
Takamine EG345C 12-String
Fender Squier P-Bass

Peavey Classic 50
Laney HCM65B

$75 Junk Drums w/ B8 Hats/Crash/Ride
#20
I think most people are in consensus on your songs. The electric one could be good but its hard to say with just a single metal-toned guitar part. Of the two acoustic songs, they both sound cool, good progressions and stuff. "Writers" is just begging for vocals, even if you don't think you can sing, I think you should try. Maybe write a melody on the guitar first, and try to sing to it? The second acoustic song actually sounds like a good instrumental, but there need to be more layers to it. Try writing a second guitar part.

As has been stated, the recording quality is not good. If you are enjoying recording, maybe invest in a decent mic? Then you can download a recording software like Audacity and get into doing multiple tracks and that kind of thing. Also, a metronome would be helpful while recording as your tempo seems to vary during the songs.

Crit mine?

my thread
#21
the writers: sounds good, but it definately needs drums and vocals, and possibly some bass. The song itself I think doesn't reach it's full potential. Maybe add something a little more complex into it. However, it did hold my interest and the quality sounded better on this track than some of the others.

Torn apart: The quality really puts me off this one. It has some good riffs, but the sound is very... ugh, for lack of a better term. Are you using the distortion on your crate amp, by any chance? Because I have the same amp and the distortion sounds just like that, very digital and disgusting. The song was Ok, not my favorite. Some parts had really good riffs, and other parts were really slow and boring. Not bad, overall, though.

We will rise: I'd have to say this is my favorite out of all your songs. It's very melodic and seems to work withput drums. Vocals or a second guitar would definately make it sound much better. The songwriting was good, It had sort of a dreamy feel to it. I think I'm hearing a couple wrong notes every now and then. I'd say avoid the power chords on acoustic songs, it really doesn't work in contrast to the full chords, they sound very empty. But,this is still my favorite of all them and what I've said here can apply to the other songs, too.
#22
we will rise: this one is pretty good. i like hte incessent qualities of the riff.
Too cool for a signature.
#23
Not the best quality, but the ideas are great, get some drums on it or something that would help a lot... keep it coming
Textures - greatest band ever
#24
Don't want to repeat what everyone has crit'd, but the recording quality needs to be shaped up a bit. You're talented, so you should go out and buy a nice small mixer and a decent mic and your recording quality will improve drastically.
I'm interested in hearing these getting some vocals, because the riffs are all nice. I'm more of an acoustic lover, so I enjoyed We Will Rise the most. Good work again, let me know when you add some vocals!
#25
You have really good ideas, but the recording quality really detracts from the song. Unfortunately, everything I can say at this point is basically a repetition of what has already been said. Invest in a decent microphone, download a recording software (Audacity is a good free one), etc. It's kind of hard to give a really in depth critique of your playing, since it wasn't that dynamic. But I understand that your setup kind of limits what you can record. However, it seems as if you have a really good idea of how to make music; nice job. Thanks for the crits on mine, as well. Sorry this took me so long to get around to.
#26
Torn Apart: Bad recording, but i like the riffs i think if u got it recorded better i could like it better, im not a big fan of metal though

Writer: i really liked this one, if you could get vocals it would be better though

We Will Rise: Pretty much the same as writers


the recordings arent perfect but there not that bad, sounds good though
#27
Heya guitarfreak777,

Just listened to your recordings. Obviously the recording quality is lacking but hey it's a demo to get your idea down on "paper". It's very important to get it down on whatever you have. Eventually when you finish writing, you'll want to get a better recording setup.

As others have stated your progressions are very nice. That's the first thing I thought as I was listening. Your "map" to the song is there. Even though you don't sing you should still try to get a vocal melody together and some words. Use your imagination to find the vocal melody. Maybe work a little more on building contrasting sections too.

I wouldn't worry so much about the audio quality at this point just get your creative ideas out. Keep writing everyday and build up a catalogue of stuff and try to find some other people to get a band together. You'll find you'll probably have access to better equipment when you start networking.

Hope I was able to add something new here. Take care friend and keep writing. You're heading in the "write" (hehe!) direction with your progressions. I'll listen some more in a little bit.

- florida girl
Last edited by florida girl at Mar 29, 2007,
#29
Sounds like some great guitar playing there. It's been let down by horrendous recording quality that turns the whole thing into mush. Not sure about the tone, either. Sounds like you're a great player, but you're just being let down by the quality of your mic and perhaps your amp and effects unit.
#30
Thorn apart: The intro, like everyone said, is superb! Tempo changes are well done, but you need drums :P

We will rise: Bass is awesome Sounds Led Zeppelinish I thought

Good job and thanks for your crit