#1
The one thing that you never knew,
Is the one thing that tore us apart and,
Every day i regret that decision and I,
Just cant stop thinking about you....cant stop thinking about you

and You never knew how much i loved you,
and i still do,
You dont know how much i care about you,
I always will

Well all those time we spent together, meant everything to me
Just being close to you, Meant the world to me
You were my everything, and I
Never stoped thinking about you.
and The only thing that I lived for,
Was to be with you, to talk to you, and to walk with you, just to love you

and You never knew how much i loved you,
and i still do, oh how I still do
You dont know how much i cared,
About you, and I always will

It hurts me so bad,
that I let you go,
When you never knew,
The way i felt about you,
and it hurt me sooo bad,
And it still does and it always will


Just kinda a fast jot down song, tell me what you think...if people think i can turn this into a great peice ill keep working on it but if not ill trash it....thanks for reading
Check for "Taking a Picture (Won't capture this)
#2
well ive done some crits on other songs but still havent gotten any on mine....im bumping this just cause i need to know if i should keep with this song and fast...i need it for tonight
Check for "Taking a Picture (Won't capture this)
#3
Well its well put together and has a flow to it. It would work. But it is cliche.

Well I went back and read it again, and had to edit my reply. I really like the first two lines. It is just that the rest of it cannot live up to it
What the hell is wrong with Bobby Hill
#4
Quote by Fallen_Misery
The one thing that you never knew,
Is the one thing that tore us apart and,
Every day i regret that decision and I,
Just cant stop thinking about you....cant stop thinking about you dnt repeat it

i was just in a mood so i re wrote it hope you dont mind

The one thing that you never knew,
Is the one thing that tore us apart ,
Every day i regret that decision ,
thought i just felt you move inside my heart



and You never knew how much i loved you,
and i still do,
You dont know how much i care about you,
I always will try and i always will do

Well all those time we spent together, meant everything to me
Just being close to you, Meant the world to me
You were my everything, and I
Never stoped thinking about you.
and The only thing that I lived for,
Was to be with you, to talk to you, and to walk with you, just to love you

instead of directly using love you can use some another metaphor atleast thats what i feel

and You never knew how much i loved you,
and i still do, oh how I still do
You dont know how much i cared,
About you, and I always will

It hurts me so bad,
that I let you go,
When you never knew,
The way i felt about you,

try the way i felt for you

and it hurt me sooo bad,
And it still does and it always will


Just kinda a fast jot down song, tell me what you think...if people think i can turn this into a great peice ill keep working on it but if not ill trash it....thanks for reading


dont need to trash it. i think by fixing it here and there and providing it with a good instrumentation you can have a good song even if it's not a masterpiece


crit mine if u can.link is in my sig.
Hi
#5
thanks just got a chance to look at the feedback ummm "ab" i like your re-write of the first stanza...i think i might use some of that somewhere in the song....and im also prly going to change the love part to some sort of metaphor, i like that idea... so thanks for the input and "California?" maybe you could send me a pm or somethin to help explain how the song doesnt live up to the first two lines....maybe you can help me out with some of that but thanks for the input
Check for "Taking a Picture (Won't capture this)