#1
Finding My Feet

Verse 1
Mapping out a course in life
Is easier said than done,
It gets too much, you want to run

Ask a hand from someone
they don't have the time of day,
Surely be the same in their place

Bridge
Seems like they're,
Blessed with seventh senses,
I can't match tricks like that,
That's why I'll never lead the pack

So if you're looking for this soppy tw*t
You'll see me skulking at the back

Chorus
Well I'm still finding my feet
Bad things come in threes
But it's no cause for worry
I'm not a casualty

I'm keeping faith, you know
And going with the flow
Won't finish DAO
My conscience told me so

Verse 2
Taking things for granted
Is a danger in itself,
Try being thankful for your health

Though not from lack of trying
I will gain no ground today
Just treading water all the way

Bridge
Chorus

Then some sort of outro
Give me room to grow...


I know it's normally "DOA" so I may have made up "DAO", but anyway, it means "down and out".
Crit for crit.
Thanks.
Quote by EirikFtw
You have achieved what I thought impossible, you are my new god

"The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society"
Founder of the "Marmite: We love it!" Union
translator/ radio-operator of the bass militia
#3
Quote by Limey
Finding My Feet

Verse 1
Mapping out a course in life
Is easier said than done,
It gets too much, you want to run
Maybe if you had "Sometimes it seems too much, you just wanna run"

Ask a hand from someone
they don't have the time of day,
Surely be the same in their place
Not sure about the last line

Bridge
Seems like they're,
Blessed with seventh senses,
I can't match tricks like that,
That's why I'll never lead the pack

So if you're looking for this soppy tw*t
You'll see me skulking at the back

Chorus
Well I'm still finding my feet
Bad things come in threes
But it's no cause for worry
I'm not a casualty

I'm keeping faith, you know
And going with the flow
Won't finish DAO
My conscience told me so
First Stanza of chorus is good, Second is ok. Not sure about the "conscience" part

Verse 2
Taking things for granted
Is a danger in itself,
Try being thankful for your health

Though not from lack of trying
I will gain no ground today
Just treading water all the way
I like this verse alot. Always hard to rhyme something with "self"

Bridge
Chorus

Then some sort of outro
Give me room to grow...


I know it's normally "DOA" so I may have made up "DAO", but anyway, it means "down and out".
Crit for crit.
Thanks.


Really good lyrics, I don't know whay kinda of rhythm you had. Sounds like the vein of a 3 doors down vibe. Just be sure you let the crowd know what the DAO stands for. Great man.
#4
Thanks mate, that's helpful. Glad you like it.
It's in a folky, light rock sort of style.
I'll see about changing a couple of things.
Quote by EirikFtw
You have achieved what I thought impossible, you are my new god

"The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society"
Founder of the "Marmite: We love it!" Union
translator/ radio-operator of the bass militia
#5
Quote by Limey
Finding My Feet

Verse 1
Mapping out a course in life
Is easier said than done,
It gets too much, you want to run

Ask a hand from someone
they don't have the time of day,
Surely be the same in their place

What about "it's easier said than done" it think it might flow better. maybe "when it gets to much"
maybe "they won't give the time of day"?

"Surely be the same in their place" I am not sure what that means or how it's supposed to fit...



Bridge
Seems like they're,
Blessed with seventh senses,

maybe just "seven"

I can't match tricks like that,
That's why I'll never lead the pack

So if you're looking for this soppy tw*t
You'll see me skulking at the back

Chorus
Well I'm still finding my feet
Bad things come in threes
But it's no cause for worry
I'm not a casualty

more rhyming here owuld be good i think.
I like the line "Bad things come in threes" best in the song i think

I'm keeping faith, you know
And going with the flow
Won't finish DAO

what about having a backing vocallist go (down and out) ? to make it clear what that means

My conscience told me so

Verse 2
Taking things for granted
Is a danger in itself,
Try being thankful for your health

not sure why but i don't really like the line about health.

Though not from lack of trying
I will gain no ground today
Just treading water all the way

Bridge
Chorus

Then some sort of outro
Give me room to grow...


I know it's normally "DOA" so I may have made up "DAO", but anyway, it means "down and out".
Crit for crit.
Thanks.



Cool song some flow/get the point across stuff needs to be worked out but good ideas =)

c4c? plz


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=549780
#6
Cheers.
I quite the idea about DAO.
Quote by EirikFtw
You have achieved what I thought impossible, you are my new god

"The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society"
Founder of the "Marmite: We love it!" Union
translator/ radio-operator of the bass militia