#1
just wanted to see what you guys/girls thought of this.


The Old Aim meets a New Playground

Praying fills the air waves with hopes and dreams for those who have fallen down
Our looks deceive our worst of sins that cloud our judgmental selves
Plagued with doubt, listen to those screaming for help
Their chaotic point of view on tyranny will go against the
2 chalk lines that change with the ebb and flow of dishonesty

Hierarchy blessed with the wine of blood of their enemies
Their voice surrounds the millions who follow them
The martyr takes the form of modern art, twisting and turning in any direction
Hypocrisy disbelieves the way you carry yourself
Throw your thoughts into the careless wind and watch them glow

Is this a big mistake, a Greek tragedy at the wrong pace?
Extensive gothic towers throw off the steadiest armies
Trip, roll, duck for cover
With your blindfold covered in dirt, the choir takes aim at your guilt
Makes sure the shot hits the cross that’s strangling around our necks
Marching believers fall into line, wavering, stealing, and oh so becoming of the future
#2
anyone got any crits on this?
Equipment
Carlo Robelli SG (Circa 1970's?)
Fender H.O.T. Amp
Yamaha G100-212-III
Ibanez Thrashmetal Pedal
Ibanez Flanger Pedal
Boss Master Switch/PowerSuppy
Boss Equalizer
#3
Try commenting on others first, then linking them to this.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#4
Quote by Truteno-the spi



The Old Aim meets a New Playground

Praying fills the air waves with hopes and dreams for those who have fallen down
Our looks deceive our worst of sins that cloud our judgmental selves
Plagued with doubt, listen to those screaming for help
Their chaotic point of view on tyranny will go against the
2 chalk lines that change with the ebb and flow of dishonesty
May just be me but i cannot get a rythmn in my head for this....but i like the word choice and the images that i get in my head...great stanza

Hierarchy blessed with the wine of blood of their enemies
Their voice surrounds the millions who follow them
The martyr takes the form of modern art, twisting and turning in any direction
Hypocrisy disbelieves the way you carry yourself
Throw your thoughts into the careless wind and watch them glow
once again, great word choice...still am not following the rythmn... this part is written very good, i like it, just dont know how to say it, lol

Is this a big mistake, a Greek tragedy at the wrong pace?
Extensive gothic towers throw off the steadiest armies
Trip, roll, duck for cover
With your blindfold covered in dirt, the choir takes aim at your guilt
Makes sure the shot hits the cross that’s strangling around our necks
Marching believers fall into line, wavering, stealing, and oh so becoming of the future
I like the first line alot, it puts a good image in my mind, together with the 2nd line....not as good of word choice in this stanza, but it is still really good...i like the simpleness in this verse

Overall Great Job
Check for "Taking a Picture (Won't capture this)