#1
Ai'ght, so I got bored and decided to right some verses.
Bearing in mind this is my first ever time at writing rap, or for that matter any form of songwriting/poetry, be nice.

Check this fine ryhme
I be slammin’ my best lines down your throat
Ain’t no one alive can sink this boat
There are those who’ve tried and upped their game
But no matter what they do they can’t stop this train

They come at me and trap me, try to unwrap me
Think they can affect me, infect and undress me
Not to infict any disrespect
But I’m gonna disagree
Ill come back at them screaming like a motherfucking Banshee
#2
Quote by Waster
Ai'ght, so I got bored and decided to right some verses.
Bearing in mind this is my first ever time at writing rap, or for that matter any form of songwriting/poetry, be nice.

Check this fine ryhme
I be slammin’ my best lines down your throat
^ When I used to write rap, all the forums I went to had people doin this. They all had the greatest rhymes. Perhaps try something a little more original? This is too clichéd
Ain’t no one alive can sink this boat
There are those who’ve tried and upped their game
But no matter what they do they can’t stop this train
^ I think there is too may syllables in this last line, but maybe its just me...

They come at me and trap me, try to unwrap me
Think they can affect me, infect and undress me
^The affect and infect sound too much alike and by undress do you mean to wear you down? I liked the internal rhyming (I think thats what its called) in these lines.
Not to infict any disrespect
But I’m gonna disagree
Ill come back at them screaming like a motherfucking Banshee
^ Great ending. I liked these last two line the most

Good effort for your first try. You should work on trying to rhyme words with more syllables too add some complexity to your writing.

You can crit either one of mine if you want. The links are in my sig.