#1
Verse 1

The Leaves were long, oh
The Grass was so green.
The shamrocks blew to and fro,
With the rhytm of the breeze.
It was so wondrous,
It's Beuaty rarely seen.
The river flowed into the south,
and faded to a stream.

Verse 2

Nightlife woke around me,
The sickle moon hung low.
And in the cavernous black,
we heard there horns blow.
And through the Darkness,
When the lightning splits the sea.
There are these foul memories,
That are etched deep in me.

Chorus

ooo, there were mountains cold,
And forests green and old.
Forefront of a battlefield,
of dead skin and bones.
They Invaded from the East,
And from the West aswell.
They turned our homely homes into
Houses of Hell

Verse 3

They tore us asunder
They spared noone at all.
And our mighty leader,
was the last one to fall.
They enslaved our women,
Our babies fell from the wall
Then the sun Came over the hill,
For the last break of dawn.

Chorus

ooo, there were mountains cold,
And forests green and old.
Forefront of a battlefield,
of dead skin and bones.
They Invaded from the East,
And from the West aswell.
They turned our homely homes into
Houses of Hell

Verse 4

I saw this happen,
From a Glade thats far away.
I went out hunting,
for what I thought was just a day.
I am alone now,
A man without a home.
I have no Treasury of which to call my own

Chorus

ooo, there were mountains cold,
And forests green and old.
Forefront of a battlefield,
of dead skin and bones.
They Invaded from the East,
And from the West aswell.
They turned our homely homes into
Houses of Hell

And through the darkness,
where the lightning splits the sea.
There live these foul memories,
That are etched deep in me.

Cheers folks. Rate and criticise please.
you can burn it all
and rally around the table
if you want to
just to argue out the last scenes of us

You can end it all
Im sorry enough to tell you
that im ok
and im never gonna see you again
#2
It's good, although a little cheesy power-metal-ish. Some of the lines are a little to simple for this genre, like it sounds like you couldn't think of anything to write there. Also, "homely homes"? Come on, put something else. Overall, it's good though. The chorus sounds straight out of an Iron Maiden song.

Crit for crit?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=551076
#3
I like Cheesy Power Metal. 70s and 80s rock and metal band rule all. Most of their songs were simple but with decent solos. In my oppinion, the best listening stuff. anyway, cheers for your criticisms. I wrote this song after a story i wrote, inspired by lord of the rings, for some reason. Then I took some lines from it, wrote a guitar part and here it is. Anyone else?
you can burn it all
and rally around the table
if you want to
just to argue out the last scenes of us

You can end it all
Im sorry enough to tell you
that im ok
and im never gonna see you again
#5
Nah. Was reading Lord of the Rings.
you can burn it all
and rally around the table
if you want to
just to argue out the last scenes of us

You can end it all
Im sorry enough to tell you
that im ok
and im never gonna see you again