#1
Well, this is another song I've been working on. It's a pop-punk/alternative-ish song. But, I tried to stray away from the simple pop-punk you hear on the radio. It's pretty simplistic rhythms like most pop-punk, but with leads over most of the rhythm riffs. I also focused a little more on bass. I tried to get it to stand out a little more, rather than just having it follow the root note of the rhythms.

It's not 100% complete, I still have a couple riffs left to write for the outro, but for the most part it's like 95% done. So yeah...check it out.

:EDIT: Scroll Down For Updated Version.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
Last edited by Nunwhxre 666 at Mar 26, 2007,
#2
Eh. . . pop-punk isn't ment to be that complex. Nothing sounded wrong, but nothing really sounded good. Bits and pieces of the lead were interesting, but the rhythem wasn't great, and the bass was just off in its own little world. Not one of your better works dude.
#4
Eh, Maybe I'll just scrap this.

And about the bass, I'm not a bass player anyway. Lol. And I do see what you mean now about the bass. The Bass in the chorus is WAY off.

And I probably should stick to metal and such. Keep myself from writing peices like this. Pop-punk isn't my genre anyway. I just figured I'd give it a shot.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
Last edited by Nunwhxre 666 at Mar 23, 2007,
#7
Sounds not bad man. I wouldn't give up on it. It's a little happy sounding for most people though. Not a bad song though. I don't have P-tab so that's just a quick listen though. The bass isn't absolute junk either. Some of the little high melody's could be worked on a bit, but well done, mate.
Main Gear:
Cort G-Series 254
Takamine EG345C 12-String
Fender Squier P-Bass

Peavey Classic 50
Laney HCM65B

$75 Junk Drums w/ B8 Hats/Crash/Ride
#8
Well, I took your guys advice. I scrapped a few bass parts and re-did them. The bass, to me, isn't in it's own little world now. I think it fits with the song better.
Attachments:
Alternative.zip
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
#9
It was pretty decent...i liked the overall happy tone of it that coninued throughout it...the leads were pretty good...the only thing i would say is to extend it somewhat...add the best leads into other places during the song as kind of a hook to keep people interested...but i did like it...give my newest a crit will ya...its Morning Solitude and the link is in the sig
#10
I liked it. i personally thought it was one of your better pieces. I especially liked the pre-chorus.

all-in-all

8/10

crit mine please?

http://www.tunnelproxy.com/index.php?q=aHR0cDovL3d3dy51bHRpbWF0ZS1ndWl0YXIuY29tL2ZvcnVtL3Nob3d0aHJlYWQucGhwP3Q9NTYwOTg3

EDIT: oh and don't worry about the proxy. just click go and it'll get you there
#11
Thanks. I'll probably crit yours later on tonight.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
#12
Not bad at all. Exactly what it said on the tin.
Wasn't hugely keen on the second part of the chorus riff, but I could see what you were trying to do with it. Going to have the first part of the chorus lead stuck in my head all night now...

Nicely put together though, especially having a bass break.
Quote by Mia (Pulp Fiction)
Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullsh*t in order to be comfortable?

That's when you know you found somebody special. When you can just shut the f*ck up for a minute, and comfortably share silence.

RateYourMusic