#1
Hi, please take a look at my song below
It's basically written about a girl a girl, that you love so much
I haven't titled it yet, so if you can then please help me in titling it.
Pls comment / crit / judge / whatever...


*I did not use much metaphoric expressions in this song, sorry.*


It’s been a long time
When I first saw you
When you changed my heart
I started to know you

You make cold winds blow
You make problems disappear
Your smile makes me unafraid
When I am facing my fears

You are my only inspiration
When I am lonely and alone
When I take hard exams, oohhh
When they shove me on the floor

We can’t control ourselves then
Good things came to our minds
We started to loved each other
We were always happy all the time

These vampires then haunted you
You then started to hate me
Still, I don’t want to give up on you
Because without you I’m pathetic

I have done so many things
Some good and some bad
So please don’t leave me
You know it will make me sad

You know you can make me do things
Things that will make you cry again
You can make me lie beside an angel
Or you can make me scream in hell

I will annihilate all these vampires
Even though leaving you is easier
But I will never do that cause I love you
I promise that we will be back together
Come on, man.
Last edited by f1f2 at Mar 24, 2007,
#2
Read the rules.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#4
Quote by break-me-in
Read the rules.


what? am i breaking a rule here? pls tell me so i will take the appropriate action
Come on, man.
#5
the title of ur thread should be only the name of the song if there it is.read the rules . in between ur thread u can ask fr ur help. delete it and repost it correctly
Hi
#6
Quote by abhishek21
the title of ur thread should be only the name of the song if there it is.read the rules . in between ur thread u can ask fr ur help. delete it and repost it correctly


Are you retarded?

the Song doesnt have a name, **** the rules!!!!

People like you piss me off SO much. You are the kind of people rock n roll was made to annoy. Get a life. And probaly some friends.

And as for the song, its pretty cool, only skim read it though.
Most people die with their music still locked up inside them.


Quote by La Qotsa
In Soviet Russia, UG closes YOU.
#7
Maybe you could make it rhyme a bit more? I don't know... i think it is just me who thinks all songs should rhyme. But if you don't.... i guess that is okay. But is there like a chorus or something? Because it would be kinda weird if it was just all verses, know what I mean?
I HAVE A BAND NAMED FALLING CONFESSIONS
AND I PLAY LEAD GUITAR
AND I P0WN!!!



"When there's a freakin' will, there is always a freakin' way!"
#8
Quote by TheOneManWonder
Are you retarded?

the Song doesnt have a name, **** the rules!!!!

People like you piss me off SO much. You are the kind of people rock n roll was made to annoy. Get a life. And probaly some friends.

And as for the song, its pretty cool, only skim read it though.


Calm down... Rules are there to be followed. If there is no title for the song, the thread title should be "Untitled". With that mentality of "**** the rules!!!!", you're going to get yourself banned my friend . Though I'm guessing you will/already have gotten a warning for that post.

Anywho, I think the song could use some work. Some parts are very unoriginal, or don't fit, or just don't sound right. Overall I'd give it a 6/10, because it was slightly above average. But expand your vocabulary and venture through your own mind to find a style of writing unique to yourself, rather than stuff that is as generic as this.
#9
Quote by TheOneManWonder
Are you retarded?

the Song doesnt have a name, **** the rules!!!!

People like you piss me off SO much. You are the kind of people rock n roll was made to annoy. Get a life. And probaly some friends.

And as for the song, its pretty cool, only skim read it though.



You know what they do to rebels in prison?

They **** them in the ass.

Consider me a ****er.