Registered User
Join date: Jan 2007
395 IQ
Hey all, thought i'd post another song i've just finished working on, going for a dark tranquillity esque feel with this one, leave comments and criticism and i'll crit yours asap
Deviate from the form
Join date: Mar 2007
4,100 IQ
Very nice stuff man. It's nice and heavy, and I like the keyboard elements you added to it. The intro and verse both sound good. It get's a little repetitive though, so I would suggest that you add some harmonization to the riffs. As for the pre-chorus, it was basically the same riff as the verse, so try to add some variation there. The chorus sounds good, but you should change around some of the chords. Like in bar 38, I would suggest changing it to this: Whole note =w half=h
D string ------2----------------------
A string ------0--------5-----------5
E string ----------------3-----------2

Just my opinoin though. Brakfown is nice, the piano section should have a little variance though. As for the break, it would sound much better if you harmonized like half way through (minor 3rds would sound best). The outro also sounds way too similar to the other parts of the song, and should be changed completely. In my opinion you should add a little solo in maybe after the second chorus. It would just add that much more to the song.
Overall, it's got good riffs, but just gets too repetitive for me. 7/10
Crit mine? (in sig, even though some are kind of old, crits on all would still be appreciated)
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2003
175 IQ
I want to like it... but just can't... by the end I was begging for it to finish fast... and the outro seemed to go on forever. It just got plain old boring without any fills or variations. Add some!

You should also add some solos, I thought could fit in after the breakdown and another one after the second chorus, just for varieties sake... do try to avoid the average cookie-cutter solo in the genre though, please.

The breakdown was great, simple, but effective and fit in quite well.

Work on it some more. Overall, it's alright, but not great... just too boring.