Join date: Jun 2006
3,466 IQ
nice riffs i liked the bit at 13 and 31 the best it would be great if you could get a song organised out of that and get some drums and guitar in there great riffs shouldnt go to waste

Mines in the sig or my work in progress here:
maybe you could give me some bass help i havent a clue about bass lol i usually just use roots
Last edited by ch715dallat at May 25, 2007,
Deviate from the form
Join date: Mar 2007
4,100 IQ
Very nice bro, The only problem I had was in bars 4, 15, and 16. Some notes sounded off-key. There were other notes that were off-key, but they still sounded good. Try to do some more variations though. Other then that it's pretty intricate stuff for a bass. Good job man.Maybe if you get a chance, check out my newest song, I tried to do more complex bass work, but it could still use work in other spots, so if you could give me some advice, I'd appreciate it.
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2007
101 IQ
Thx very much.
I added a few things in (or took out some).
Something I need help with more is staying in the same key, as some of you have mentioned, any advice on that?
Last edited by lonejedio5 at May 26, 2007,
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2006
512 IQ
I really like this dude. The melodies are flowing, good beat, and it sounded like a deep-acoustic guitar. Very nice.

I didn't notice the key problems but my ear isn't that good anyway. the second bass can totally be used more later in the song, it adds a lot of dynamic to the song and can definitely be used more I think.

It's great, and for a bass-only song (don't think I've ever listened to a solely-bass song before) it's fun listening to. A solo is probably all that's missing, unless you count the whole song as a solo right?

Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams
Lion on the floor!
Join date: Feb 2006
191 IQ
Thats a pretty good riff you have going for the first sections, it started to get a bit dull, but you changed at the perfect time to another great riff (bar 13-20). Wasnt the biggest fan to from bar 29 onwards. The first riff is a bit awkward, and the second sounds jumbled. Im sure a beat would clear both these up though. Work on the other instruments and put up a finished version when you do, Id love to hear it.

Also, I agree with Revan. A second bass in the back could add some killer unique sound to it. Give it a shot and see what happens.

Give "A return" in the sig a crit when you can, would'ya?
Join date: Apr 2007
154 IQ
That was pretty good, very original. It had good melody, kinda reminded me of a melodic metal piece like Hammerfall or Dream Evil or sumthin. I liked the variations you had, but overall it was a bit short.

Pretty damn good tho!
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Registered User
Join date: Apr 2007
101 IQ
Quote by BerryTree
Short, straight and to the point man, I really like that bass riff (Even though it kinda drags a bit...but its just me) I could be the only one thinking this but the bass sounds a *bit* like tool, just how it sounds and feels.

can you crit mine?

Haha I get that all the time. maybe cuz the bassist from tool plays pretty high up on the bass too......
Dunno what to say, I dont even listen to them that much.
But they are pretty kickass so thx.