gonzaw
UG's Secret Agent
Join date: Mar 2007
6,087 IQ
#1
Yes I know, it has a weird name....I just totally made it up a few moments ago.
Well....this started as an acoustic guitar duet (kind of)....but then I added another guitar and made it into something else....so maybe thats why it doesn't sound too good when it goes from Bridge to Verse.....suggestions are welcomed

I didn't do the solo yet...I tried some stuff but sucked......I need some advice though.

I can play most of the acoustic part (kind of slowly) ....but I wrote it today afternoon so didn't have too much time to practice it.....any comments and suggestions for those parts are welcomed too

(ehh...I think bass may need something too...)

Enjoy......

---------------------------------------(UPDATED VERSION BELOW)---------------------------------
Attachments:
Zukimium.zip
Last edited by gonzaw at Jun 7, 2007,
Captian Xero
The one, the only.
Join date: Apr 2006
343 IQ
#2
The bass's part is just off... Try and put into a scale...

And how do you write a song without being able to play it? it's just wierd to me i guess...

I really like the 3rd guitar in the chorus...

The notes in the bridge should have rung out IMO

Other than that... it was pretty cool.
SGxMastodonxSG
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2006
952 IQ
#4
Quote by gonzaw
^ Thank for the crit
I usually start the melody in the guitar and then start to work it in GP to make it at a faster rate....and then I learn to play it.


I find myself doing that a lot, or I'll have a riff idea, then put it in GP and suddenly start expanding it from there, so that the intro is the only riff I didn't make with it. :P I wish I didn't do that. :P

There's just way to much going on here, and a lot of bad notes are being hit. That 8th fret that the bass is hitting just sounds wrong. In fact, the whole verse the bass sounds out of key. And there's just so much going on, it's all cluttered. I don't know how to describe it better than that. :P Maybe it would sound better if the bass was in key.
I really like the chorus. It was pretty cool, and I can picture a cool solo coming out of the solo area. The bridge was also very nice. I like this song, the verse is the only problem to me, everything else has a very nice sound to it, especially the chorus. Outro was cool as well.
gonzaw
UG's Secret Agent
Join date: Mar 2007
6,087 IQ
#5
Thanks for the crit
I tried to fix the bass and part of the guitars in the verse (and some stuff in other places).
I made a solo.......which doesn't sound that bad, but in the end I got a little excited and started using some 21 fret notes and stuff (which I can't play because of my guitar....silly me), although it was fun making that last sweep.......specially cause after it the bridge starts and confuses you a bit
I think it is finished...but it needs some things here and there (maybe the solo....which I made like 1 hour ago...)
Attachments:
Zukimium.zip
khamett
Khamett
Join date: Jun 2007
164 IQ
#6
everything is nearl perfect, but it is maybe very hard to play

espessially the intro thing
gonzaw
UG's Secret Agent
Join date: Mar 2007
6,087 IQ
#7
^Thanks for the crit
Actually...it isn't hard. Well, the melody is not hard,....I just choose which parts are the "melody" and play them (I don't see bar 7 in the second guitar as melody so I don't play it , that is kind of difficult too)
rodrigomierh
havok 32
Join date: Jul 2005
949 IQ
#8
what a great song, The main riff, the chorus and the solo are awesome, I really liked the lead guitar in the chorus, it was very catchy. The solo was great, very melodic but some of the bends sounded weird . And like alway your great bass lines. Good job!!
SIMotorcycles
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2007
21 IQ
#9
Alright!

The intro is nice. The verse kinda irritates me, but it's very well phrased.

I love the chorus. Here's an actual suggestion though: change the first note on the clean guitar (6th fret, g string) to a half bend - I find it transitions it MUCH better.

The solo was great, so was the bridge.

The outro needs some work - find a better way to "finish" the song, and not just end it.

Overall though, great work. Crit? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=615074
ouchies
UG's OG
Join date: Jan 2006
1,613 IQ
#10
I guess I must the only one that thinks your music is very bland and boring and unemotional. Although, of course it is all opinion.

You're improving a lot though, this song isn't anywhere near as bad as your first ones, just keep working on making more catchy melodies.
gonzaw
UG's Secret Agent
Join date: Mar 2007
6,087 IQ
#11
Quote by ouchies
I guess I must the only one that thinks your music is very bland and boring and unemotional. Although, of course it is all opinion.

You're improving a lot though, this song isn't anywhere near as bad as your first ones, just keep working on making more catchy melodies.


Well......thanks I guess........
Ceresz
Wannabe
Join date: Apr 2006
238 IQ
#12
When I checked the first one I felt that you needed to fix the counterpoint, or well the harmony atlest because some of those "harmonies" my ear didn't quite care for but then after checking the second version I see everything has been fixed.
I really like it, especially the chorus
Keep it up!