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#1
How come lesbians are so annoying? When you're watching your typical porn, boy and girl, and the girl's having her pussy slammed at a million miles per hour, you'll hear some moaning and such which increases until she has an orgasm. So why can't lesbians be the same? I personally think it's annoying to be jacking off and having to listen through "OH YES OH GOD YEAH YEAH YOU LOVE ****ING MY SMALL TIGHT PUSSY YEAH DON'T YOU? OH GOD YES! YEAH GIVE ME MORE MORE MORE!". And porn isn't porn without sound.

So lesbians can suck my ass.
[/rant]
#6
mmm... having some bloke goin "yeah, pie..." is more annoying than what lesbians might say.
Status: Taken.
#7
I still prefer lesbian
Looking to buy a Fender Jagstang, u sellin?
#8
Lesbian porn is great!

I dont want to see a guy slamming a girl.. I dont wanna see a penis!
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#9
Quote by TheDarkestNights
... what? I've read that 4 times and it still doesn't make any sense to me.

+1 ..
but I agree that lesbian porn is lame
uhuh .. oh yeh .. umm .. okay
#10
Quote by Guitardude19
Lesbian porn is great!

I dont want to see a guy slamming a girl.. I dont wanna see a penis!

Cinemax porn, where they show you nothing but tits.
...Strap on lesbian porn..?

Any lesbian porn, really. especially those lesbian training websites.
#13
Quote by OrangePossum
those lesbian training sites.


I think I missed out on something there?
Military use of children?

Infantry.
#14
Quote by Kneusje
I think I missed out on something there?


yea me too Oo

lesbians ftw
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#15
I'd rather see lesbians than a guy.

Too many times I've been watching porn and the guy has said:

"FEEL THAT BITCH? THAT'S MY BALLS SLAPPING AGAINST YOUR ASS!"

That ain't kosher.
Quote by CornLord
Derigiberble would win in a fight against any UGer, n00b or not, just because most people on the site can't help but love him/her.


Get, Get, Get, Get, Get Out And Push.
#16
Haha the funniest porn I've ever seen -

(Black, obviously) Guy with 2ft penis (seriously ) comes on girls face, with a HUGE load.
Guy: You just been BLASTED, bitch!

I swear I was laughing for ages. Mainly cause he was so dumb, and had grillz.
Ibanez SR505
Ashdown ABM 300 EVO II
Epifani UL410
#17
Quote by Welsh Guitar
Haha the funniest porn I've ever seen -

(Black, obviously) Guy with 2ft penis (seriously ) comes on girls face, with a HUGE load.
Guy: You just been BLASTED, bitch!

I swear I was laughing for ages. Mainly cause he was so dumb, and had grillz.


#18
Quote by Welsh Guitar
Haha the funniest porn I've ever seen -

(Black, obviously) Guy with 2ft penis (seriously ) comes on girls face, with a HUGE load.
Guy: You just been BLASTED, bitch!

I swear I was laughing for ages. Mainly cause he was so dumb, and had grillz.


funniest porno I've ever seen...these guys pick up this maybe 18 or 19 year old girl with their van who doesn't want to have sex...but eventually does because they kept giving her money to undress etc. and promised her alot if they could do her...then when they drop her off, they take out a clip of money and just before she can grab it they drive away...that was extremely funny and harsh xD
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#19
Quote by HuckIt
funniest porno I've ever seen...these guys pick up this maybe 18 or 19 year old girl with their van who doesn't want to have sex...but eventually does because they kept giving her money to undress etc. and promised her alot if they could do her...then when they drop her off, they take out a clip of money and just before she can grab it they drive away...that was extremely funny and harsh xD

Bangbus? That's staged. lol.
Ibanez SR505
Ashdown ABM 300 EVO II
Epifani UL410
#21
Quote by aguycalledjono
2ft penis thats 24 inches, not possible

Check your PMs.
Ibanez SR505
Ashdown ABM 300 EVO II
Epifani UL410
#22
Quote by Derigiberble
I'd rather see lesbians than a guy.

Too many times I've been watching porn and the guy has said:

"FEEL THAT BITCH? THAT'S MY BALLS SLAPPING AGAINST YOUR ASS!"

That ain't kosher.


so true
#23
Female masturbation porn ftw
What have we learned.....

Words are weightless here on earth,
because they're free


.....from this wee exercise?
#24
Quote by con job
Female masturbation porn ftw

Normal porn ftw.
Ibanez SR505
Ashdown ABM 300 EVO II
Epifani UL410
#27
Quote by Welsh Guitar
Haha the funniest porn I've ever seen -

(Black, obviously) Guy with 2ft penis (seriously ) comes on girls face, with a HUGE load.
Guy: You just been BLASTED, bitch!

I swear I was laughing for ages. Mainly cause he was so dumb, and had grillz.


That guy has a fake penis over his own.

I'm dead serious.

And, the cumshot scenes? You never see him in them, just a hand holding a rubber **** hooked up to some pump filled with fake cum.

The volume of cum they show him spilling could never even fit in someone's balls.
BOLD.
#28
Quote by Welsh Guitar
Haha the funniest porn I've ever seen -

(Black, obviously) Guy with 2ft penis (seriously ) comes on girls face, with a HUGE load.
Guy: You just been BLASTED, bitch!

I swear I was laughing for ages. Mainly cause he was so dumb, and had grillz.

Pm me it!
Quote by Aqua Dementia
I like to play this game where I'll see how many times I can look at a particular chicks ass or tits until I get caught.


Quote by WNxScythe
Fat chicks are different. They don't count, they aren't women.


Digitech Whammy Club!
#29
Quote by maddd0g
That guy has a fake penis over his own.

I'm dead serious.

And, the cumshot scenes? You never see him in them, just a hand holding a rubber **** hooked up to some pump filled with fake cum.

The volume of cum they show him spilling could never even fit in someone's balls.

Well, that would explain a LOT.
Ibanez SR505
Ashdown ABM 300 EVO II
Epifani UL410
#30
All sex noises annoy me. I wish they'd just have an interesting discussion about literature or 1990's indie records whilst pounding furiously. But the worst ones (I've just about learned to tolerate the girl's sterile moans) are when the guy comes and does that stuttered groan that goes like 'UUUHH...UUUUH....UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH..'
derp
lol u have faggot in ur username


Quote by Jack Off Jill
You know, if you, Silent Deftone and I get together.. We'd be unstoppable at the night clubs.


Everything I say is to be taken as serious fucking business.
#31
funniest porn ive ever seen was when it started with some girl about 18 taking it in the ass upside down for like 3 mins then the guy flipped her over n she started sucking him. i started laughing so hard because at the end the girl said in a texan accent "please dont tell mah parents" thinking of it now its prolly a spur-of-the-moment funny thing
Quote by cakeandpiemofo
Quote by tuwyci
why are metal musicians prone to fatness?
Cause there music is heavy.


Writing music is hard D:
#32
Quote by Welsh Guitar
Haha the funniest porn I've ever seen -

(Black, obviously) Guy with 2ft penis (seriously ) comes on girls face, with a HUGE load.
Guy: You just been BLASTED, bitch!

I swear I was laughing for ages. Mainly cause he was so dumb, and had grillz.

How bout this.

"I'm gonna stick this in your ass!"

"But I poop from there"

"Not today you don't"
Quote by MightyAl
I lean towards Butthole Surfers because only a butthole would carry a surfboard around a town.

Teh Gearz:

Cruiser Stratocaster
Feng Ling G15 Amplifier
Digitech Grunge Pedal
Daphon E20PH Phaser Pedal
#33
Quote by rorythefaggot
All sex noises annoy me. I wish they'd just have an interesting discussion about literature or 1990's indie records whilst pounding furiously. But the worst ones (I've just about learned to tolerate the girl's sterile moans) are when the guy comes and does that stuttered groan that goes like 'UUUHH...UUUUH....UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH..'


How about the way their thrusting is usually overdone? Instead of showing some guy laying on top of the woman just moving gently like real sex which often appears awkward, they have the male banging away like he's on a trampoline. If that was real sex, the girl would pipe up and say "okkkkkay, until you stop treating me like a piece of meat we're done here ..."

Funniest porno I've seen? Probably the one where two guys were screwing her at the same time (pussy and anal) with some rather amusing facial expressions from the guy one top. They even used the old joke that it's okay as long as their balls don't touch. I mean, if they're that worried, they should take turns and leave the room.
Another funny porno had this over-40 or 50's guy with a face like a dried up chamois. Not having a good looking cast was porn mistake number one. Mistake number two was using a guy who couldn't remain hard long enough to film his bit. He suffered power loss halfway through and ended up shaking his softie until he deposited his moneyshot on her leg while she did her best to look impressed with the idea of leg-f***ing. I thought "gee, I didn't realise this was also a comedy" and almost felt sorry for him. Almost.
#34
Quote by South-of-Heaven
How bout this.

"I'm gonna stick this in your ass!"

"But I poop from there"

"Not today you don't"


Proud owner of an Engl Thunder 50 Reverb and an Ibanez S470

"The end is extremely fucking nigh..."
#37
Porn like that in general sucks. I hate those over-the-top screaming fake orgasms. I like my porn to be nonchalant and laid-back.
Listen to mah discs.



And coming soon, THE CLEVER DEVILS VS. THE BLONDES.

Vote for me in the
#38
The solution to all your problems: two bi chicks and a straight guy!
Quote by Jackal58
If I was Santa you'd all get shit for Christmas.
#40
i've never been in to lesbian porn really.

well maybe the double ended dildo type

but other than that its boring

and the best porn is

Hot Teacher: Timmy your behind in your grades, its just not exeptable

Timmy: oh no.... i really need to pass this semester , if only there was a way i could improve my results

Hot Teacher: well there is one way...

* cuts to teacher being pounded on desk*
Quote by freedoms_stain

I think it's sick to force kids to take part in hate mongering and sick for spoonman to think its right for any adult to throw anything at a child.
Last edited by *Spoonman* at Jun 16, 2007,
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