The Hurt Within
Preserving the name...
Join date: Feb 2004
10,564 IQ
#1
So once again after a hard fought battle we have two winners. Carmel and Nick.


Real Name: Nick
Age: 16
Location: Salem, WI
Favourite Bands: Brand New, Elliott Smith, The Shins, Neutral Milk Hotel, Say Anything, I Hate Myself, Sunny Day Real Estate, Bright Eyes, Built to Spill, Thursday + Whatever
And band we should listen to is: I Hate Myself

Most Inspirational Writer (Lyrically): Elliott Smith is a big influence on how I try to write, and what I write about.
Favourite poet/poem (published writer): Robert Frost is my favorite poet, and Salinger has been a big influence for me recently.
If you could be any writer ever, who would you be: Probably Robert Frost.

Why Do You Write: It helps relieve stress.
Anything special you do while you write: I turn off whatever music I'm listening to.
Favourite technique/style: Simplicity is cool.

Favourite Writer on UG: I've enjoyed pieces from all of the good writers at some point or another.
Most Helpful Critter (thus known as critic): Carmel. She's very honest about your writing and doesn't try to be nice about it, which makes it all the better if she tells you something is good. She also has a knack for reviving pieces that I'd rather she didn't.

Your Most Recent Work and Reason behind It: The piece that is probably the main reason I'm filling out this questionnaire (found here ) was inspired by Carmel's sig. I usually take inspiration from everything. There's so many stunning things all around me, that no one ever mentions, and I need to tell someone about it.

Tips for Newer Writers: Write down everything. Every single thought that goes through your head. I have a Word document that's at least 15 pages long, just filled with every verse, stanza, or whatever that's come to my head. Most importantly, keep writing and apply the advice you get from people here. Swallow your pride and accept your flaws. I was dreadful when I started posting here, and while I still wouldn't consider myself among the best writers on this site, I'm filling this out, so I've obviously gotten better.
Any Final Comments or Thoughts: Thanks so much to everyone who voted for me, or even just read one of my pieces. It means a lot to be able to share all the stuff in my head with you guys, the fact that you consider it good is just a bonus. Thanks a lot to everyone.


There it it is. Thanks.



Real Name: Carmel
Age: 24
Location: Tel Aviv, Israel
Favourite Bands: Cake, Calexico, James, Pink Floyd, The Shins and Israeli artists you’ve never heard of.

And band we should listen to is:
Eran Zur, if you could only understand him.

Here is a rough translation by me. Remember that Hebrew grammar is different and may cause sentences that seem to have illogical syntax.

On The Eve of Bet Kislev
(Kislev is a Jewish month and Bet stands for “2” in Hebrew, as it is the second letter of the alphabet. In short, it’s a date. 2 in Judaism is a number associated with misfortune and disaster.)

On the eve of Bet Kislev
I devoured my soul,
I left my home
In front of the sea,
Put a stone in my pocket,
Tied up ropes,
Went into the sea
And fought the waves.

My soul begged for mercy
In the depth of turbulences
But I am dreaming,
I am inside a dream;
And in the dream - a quiet lake,
Between trees,
And in the dream - a lake
With goldfish swimming.

My day of disaster is my day of joy
And my day of joy is my day of disaster.
Blind in the heart of the sea,
Who will save him?
My soul begged for mercy
But I am dreaming.

My soul has tumbled down
To the seventh pit
And took its place
In the woods of misery.
Soul devourers hold their own -
They turn here into trees,
Evil creatures
Reside between the branches.

Coarse, when I call, was my throat,
Glued down was my tongue
And dizzy was my heart
From the strength of my pain.
Buried – not in the desert
But in my house, my castle -
Perhaps a depth-teller
Will tell the depth of wisdom in my eyes,
For my day of joy – my disaster
And my day of disaster – my joy.


Most Inspirational Writer (Lyrically): See above.

Favourite poet/poem (published writer): From olden times, John Donne. More modern pick would be Yehuda Amichai, an Israeli poet – you can find some of his translated poetry here - http://www.ithl.org.il/amichai/poems.html

If you could be any writer ever, who would you be:
Would it be to pretentious to just be me?

Why Do You Write: Cause the page is right there and a blank page needs filling.

Anything special you do while you are writing: it differs.

Favourite technique/style:
rhyming schemes of sorts, mainly internal and also mostly free verse.

Favourite Writer on UG:
Well naturally Steve (The Hurt Within), especially when I see the process of his writing and get the full meaning of his pieces. Also Matt (Something_Vague) has had some of my favorite pieces ever and Jay (Phoebus) is always writing pieces I extremely enjoy. Also I must say Nick (NGD1313) has had wonderful pieces lately.


Most Helpful Critter (thus known as critic):
Jamie (Jammydude) is always helpful and bassbeat77 (Don’t know your name, sorry) is incredible really.

Your Most Recent Work and Reason behind It: Black Sea Spring I didn’t really explain it in the piece but Black Sea Spring is actually a guy I served with in the military. His name translated from Hebrew is “Spring Black Sea”, and I recently remembered the time I used to know him and how I was back then. That’s what the piece is about.

Tips for Newer Writers:
Listen, you may get a whole new view on your piece/writing, which you never thought of.

Any Final Comments or Thoughts: hmm... think I got it covered.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
Last edited by The Hurt Within at Jun 16, 2007,
Jammydude44
Bad Santa
Join date: May 2006
8,469 IQ
#2
Muchos congrats to the both of you.

Thanks for the shoutout Carmel
Confusius
UG Nerd
Join date: Apr 2007
3,137 IQ
#4
Congrats to the both of you, well deserved...carmel is kicking some serious ass as a mod
Jammydude44
Bad Santa
Join date: May 2006
8,469 IQ
#5
Quote by SilenceEvolves
what's Nick's screenname?

congrats guys.


NGD1313 I believe.
jiminizzle
Lost Pilot
Join date: May 2006
2,775 IQ
#6
Quote by SilenceEvolves
what's Nick's screenname?


NGD1313

Quote by Nick
I have a Word document that's at least 15 pages long, just filled with every verse, stanza, or whatever that's come to my head.


pshhh damn technology. My falling apart notebook with writing that doesn't even attempt to be on the lines with misspelled words and writing in the margins from all those late nights of trying to write in the dark owns a word document

but yeah i wish i had started doing that with guitar a long time ago... it's sad, really, when you think you'll remember something and you wake up the next morning and it's gone forever ---> so good advice


Congrats to both of you, well deserved. And I like Black Sea Spring even more now (and that one that you translated is quite moving as well).

Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
Last edited by jiminizzle at Jun 16, 2007,
culex-knight
mon titre d'utilisateur
Join date: Jun 2004
400 IQ
#8
Congrats to the both of you.

NGD1313: I always seem to see every one of your pieces after they've been left alone for days. Unfortunate timing, I suppose, but I declare that you are definitely an excellent writer, and your "My Run As King Of Humanity", I believe it was called, is still up there in the pieces I have read, not just from you.

Carmel_l: Fitting, that you would be from Tel Aviv. :] Every artist of any sort that I have known to come from there has been ridiculously talented. This includes yourself.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

bassbeat77
aka Steve2
Join date: Oct 2006
6,385 IQ
#10
Congrats to the both of you!

And for the record, my name is Steve.

Confusius
UG Nerd
Join date: Apr 2007
3,137 IQ
#11
So who shall be Steve Nº1 and Nº2...sorry I couldn't resist the temptation.
The Hurt Within
Preserving the name...
Join date: Feb 2004
10,564 IQ
#12
I am older, thus making me Nº1.

If he disagrees I'll ban him.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
bassbeat77
aka Steve2
Join date: Oct 2006
6,385 IQ
#13
haha I'm kind of used to being called Bass on here now anyways. One Steve is plenty enough.
Something_Vague
Blanched in White Oars
Join date: Nov 2004
5,239 IQ
#14
Tips for Newer Writers: Write down everything. Every single thought that goes through your head. I have a Word document that's at least 15 pages long, just filled with every verse, stanza, or whatever that's come to my head.



Pfft amateur, I have a word document of 164 pages. All my poetry is equivelent to a small novel.
SilenceEvolves
woof, woof
Join date: Jul 2004
1,664 IQ
#16
Quote by Something_Vague
Pfft amateur, I have a word document of 164 pages. All my poetry is equivelent to a small novel.


copy and pasting the same metaphors repeatedly doesn't count.
LOOKtheskyfell!
That sort of thing...
Join date: Feb 2005
559 IQ
#18
congrats guys!

I love Israel.
I was just in Tel-Aviv! I went to a club called the Barbi and saw Maor Cohen play. Trust me, I've heard of your obscure Israeli artists, Carmel.
Carmel
Join date: May 2005
7,826 IQ
#19
Isn't it great? You should have called us though, we would have taken you around the city...


This is not a pipe
LOOKtheskyfell!
That sort of thing...
Join date: Feb 2005
559 IQ
#20
One day I'm gonna move there, so don't worrry.
Congrats again guys.