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#1
Hey.

I've got a girlfriend that i've been together with for 3 and a half months now that i love very much. In 1 and a half month she's going away with a foreign exchange program to brazil for a year. This was already planned when we got together.

Roughly one month ago i asked her to stay, and not go. She said no, this had been her dream to go to brazil for several years, and it was no way she was staying. I couldn't bring myself to say that I would break up with her if she didn't stay, coz that would make me an asshole. Also, she said that it had been too much of a hassle getting her dad to sign the permission slip for her to go to brazil. At that point, she hadn't paid for the foreign exchange program to brazil, so she could've easily have cancelled the whole thing.

Anyways, recently, this has been a big issue for me, and my view is that she chose her trip to brazil over me, as i just don't see it working out, even with me going there to visit her for 3 weeks for christmas, which i will if we're together.

I trust her not to fool around with other guys, its just that it makes me so mad that she'd rather go on her stupid trip, than staying for me. All the people that i know of that were going with an exchange program, ended up staying instead when they got a new boyfriend/girlfriend.

She says that i don't love her if I won't wait here for her, and starts crying every time i bring it up. To this i simply reply that she doesn't love me for not staying. At which point she's crying so hard I simply don't have the heart to say that once she leaves, its over. I just wanna hit her when i think about it.

She says that she didn't pick brazil over me when she decided to go there anyway. She says that she thought we loved each other so much that it woulndn't be a problem making it work. That just doesn't make sense to me. The way i see it, she had a choice, and she decided to pick brazil. Its like she ****ing expects me to be her good dog, staying with her no matter what ****ed up **** she pulls off, and if i don't, i don't love her. It makes me so mad.

What do you think? Did she pick brazil over me? Should i dump her, or stay together with her?

Thanks.
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#2
What the hell man?
You are mad that your girlfriend chose a life dream over you?
Grow up.
#3
Quote by Guitar-freak
Hey.

I've got a girlfriend that i've been together with for 3 and a half months now that i love very much. In 1 and a half month she's going away with a foreign exchange program to brazil for a year. This was already planned when we got together.



Then stop bitching about it then!
ಥ_ಥ
#4
Man, you cant keep people from their dreams.

if she had been dreaming about this trip forever, its not your place to stop her going. I dont think she purpously picked brazil over you but, its a shame it had to work out like that.

its like an emo finding out there invincible.
#5
The fact that your even asking that question is a clear indicator that you dont love her. Jesus Christ, your acting like its a vacation, its FOREIGN EXCHANGE, its a learning experience that tons of preparation goes towards, and it involves alot of competition, not just anyone can elect to do it.

Calling it a "stupid trip" and acting all indignant does make you sound like an asshole, and a selfish one at that. It sounds like its something shes been dreaming of for a while now, possibly even before you were together, and to try and force her to give it up because you think shes being selfish is rude and hypocritical.

Sorry, but thats the way I see it. If you truly love her, you can manage. Love isn't on a timeline.
#6
I have an idea, show me a picture of her. If she is over an 8 on the hotness scale, stay. If below, break up with her and find yourself a new woman. Forget about this love stuff, its all about Life in the Fastlane. (coypright Eagles-Hotel California trademark 2007)
Be cool.
#7
That's like you getting the Pick of Destiny and her asking you to sell it so you can take her out for dinner. It's her dream, you're being an asshole to try and stop her doing it.
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True that. True that.
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#8
Quote by Guitar-freak


I just wanna hit her when i think about it.



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#9
No matter how hard you try you can't stop us now. No matter how hard you try you can't stop us now!

Think about that and stop whining.
#10
i think love over-rules a lot of things, personally man, Id end it, its gunna be so much strain on you worrying, trust me man. As much fun as it is, I was supposed to go join the rcmp here in canada and be a private investigator, I didnt wanna leave my girl that I met a month before scheduling to go..i hope everything works out for you man...
#11
dont break up, but after a few months, she'll see that it isnt working and she will break up with u. That way, u dont hurt her feelings and u dont look like an asshole
#12
Quote by Guitar-freak
I just wanna hit her when i think about it.




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#13
in the immortal words of Sting, "If you love somebody, set them free."
Keep the change, pimps don't jangle
#14
Quote by thedude051
I have an idea, show me a picture of her. If she is over an 8 on the hotness scale, stay. If below, break up with her and find yourself a new woman. Forget about this love stuff, its all about Life in the Fastlane. (coypright Eagles-Hotel California trademark 2007)


sick idea
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#15
You're an asshole. I vote you dump her. You don't deserve her.
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#17
You're an asshole. Besides the fact that saying anything along the lines of "If you do/don't do this, then you must not love me" is beyond elementary, the fact that YOU don't want your girlfriend to achieve a life dream of hers and do something that would make her happy because you don't want to be alone shows that not only are you selfish, but through and through displays the fact that you don't love her. Love is wanting the other person to be happy. You obviously don't want that. You want YOU to be happy.
#18
dude, its her dream, you sound like a selfish little prick....sorry
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#19
I say if you're not on the same continent, it's okay to have a little fun! If you really cared about her as you claim that you do, you'd wish her well and hope she enjoys the trip. Otherwise, you're a selfish, controlling jerk.
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#20
Write a song about it and be a thug.

Quote by rockon1824
You're an asshole. Besides the fact that saying anything along the lines of "If you do/don't do this, then you must not love me" is beyond elementary, the fact that YOU don't want your girlfriend to achieve a life dream of hers and do something that would make her happy because you don't want to be alone shows that not only are you selfish, but through and through displays the fact that you don't love her. Love is wanting the other person to be happy. You obviously don't want that. You want YOU to be happy.


You're a girl right?
#22
Quote by E V H 5150
I say if you're not on the same continent, it's okay to have a little fun! If you really cared about her as you claim that you do, you'd wish her well and hope she enjoys the trip. Otherwise, you're a selfish, controlling jerk.

exactly
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#24
You should let her go to Brazil. She actually wants to have an interesting life instead of staying in whatever town you guys live in or following you wherever you want to go. Makes sense.

Also, tell her that you guys cant stay together for a year if she is in Brazil. But when she gets back you guys can try and get back together.

It might actually work.
I bet you five bucks that I play guitar.
#25
Quote by rockon1824
Love is wanting the other person to be happy. You obviously don't want that. You want YOU to be happy.

That pretty much sums it up.
It's difficult to win unless you're bored.
#26
Quote by Guitar-freak
i love very much.

Sure you do, and that's why you want to keep her from doing something that would make her happy.

Quote by rockon1824
Love is wanting the other person to be happy. You obviously don't want that. You want YOU to be happy.

I didn't notice this post before, but that pretty much sums it all up.
Go get your shovel.
#27
i take what i said back.......im not sorry, and i hope she has amazing sex with a brazillian guy and decides to stay...meanwhile you grow up a little..
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#28
Dreams mean everything.

You're an asshole. She's not choosing a "stupid trip" over you, she's choosing a dream.
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#29
Cheating doesn't count if you're in different zip codes.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#30
Break up with her. It's a realistic decision. She should go on this trip because it's a great opportunity for her, and if you've split then you can't worry and can get on with your life. When she comes back, and your both single, you could perhaps try again... but she shouldn't be staying for you rather than doing this. She still got her whole life ahead of her for relationships and you too. The thing we're all afraid of most is missing an opportunity.
#32
I say stop bieng so fucking selfish and be lucky you have a girlfriend at all.
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#33
You've been together for three and a half months...That's nothing.

You probably care about her, but I doubt you love her. Especially after the way you've been talking about her.

Just let her go, it's what she wants to do.
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#34
Besides the fact that you're a dick:

How old are you?

You've only been together 3.5 months, that is NOTHING. If my girlfriend left for a year, it would break my heart and it would be awful, but we haven't been together long enough for me to justify saying awful things to make her stay, especially if that was what she wanted.

Maybe if you weren't so in love with yourself she'd stay for you, but if I were her I'd want to get away.
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#35
Quote by hamish5178
Besides the fact that you're a dick:

How old are you?

You've only been together 3.5 months, that is NOTHING. If my girlfriend left for a year, it would break my heart and it would be awful, but we haven't been together long enough for me to justify saying awful things to make her stay, especially if that was what she wanted.

Maybe if you weren't so in love with yourself she'd stay for you, but if I were her I'd want to get away.


X2..


I wanna go on a foreign-exchange program.. it'd rock to be out of the country for a school year.
#37
I would break up with her. Not because of the trip, but because you don't love her, and staying with her will only make things harder when you do inevitably break up upon realizing that you truly don't love her. I went for Italy for four months as apart of a study abroad program, and my boyfriend did not fuss over it at all. He was happy for me that I was taking part in such an incredible trip. And now he's out west for 9 months. Am I mad? No. I have hardly seen him at all due to my trip to Italy, and now his trip to Alberta. But it's sometihng he has wanted to do for a long time, even before he and I started dating. That is a good relationship, IMO. You fussing over something that was planned before you were going out? Get real. She deserves better then the greif you're causing.
#39
Wow, you're the most selfish asshole I've seen on these boards. Grow up - in the meantime, you're not ready for a relationship.
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#40
its her life dream, jesus.

if i asked you right now to stop playing guitar entirely and be with her, would you?
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