#1
Anyone else have this? When i go out to socialize i am very nervous, so i never go out. Any ways to beat this? Obviously going out and getting experience just curious about peoples experiences with this (if any).
#2
i've been on anxiety meds for almost a decade because of this. just gotta get through it and get good and pissed off at it
#3
I think my brother has it. Go see a doctor and get some pills. They help alot.
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#4
Go to a psychiatrist or something and get some drugs or something
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#5
try and gently introduce yourself to social situations.

start off with a group of like 2-3 people, then when you're comfortable with that, move onto 5 people, and then 7, 10, 15 and so on, until eventually, you're sorted.

and always remember, all of the people there arent going to be focusing their attention on you at once, its usually going to be 2 -3 people max focusing on a conversation at once with you.
#6
It worries me that so many people's first answer was drugs. I know that medication is sometimes the best answer, but it is usually best to try other methods first.
#7
drugs are NOT always a good idea, I was on mild anxiety meds and they still screwd me up, so I went off of them. But, yeah, I have social anxiety, I've never done anything about it though, in spite of the fact that I have trouble functioning around some people I seem to have a kind of personality that attracts people to me. So I don't really need to do anything to overcome my anxiety to still have a social life, it kinda sucks meeting new people but it's just something I just have to deal with. My advice would be, to just go out and try to relax around people, but you already knew that, but think about going on meds before you do, because sometimes they make things so much worse, especialy if you are a minor. For some reason people in their teens-about 20 respond negatively to anxiety and depression meds.
#8
Wow, some awesome responses from teh pit!? Who'da thunk! Anyways thanks guys. I get very nervous at parties and gatherings with a lot of people. I fear that no one will want to talk to me, they are judging me, or dissing me. Your friends are supposed to teach you these things and sadly mine didn't! Thanks for the responses. I am going to try to ease into the whole social scene. Thanks again!
#9
I don't have social anxiety, just anxiety. In other words, When I go somewhere I get really nervous, and my stomach turns and I get VERY sick.

I fucking hate it.
#10
Quote by wylde_overdrive
I don't have social anxiety, just anxiety. In other words, When I go somewhere I get really nervous, and my stomach turns and I get VERY sick.

I fucking hate it.


maybe you should try and take my advice ^^^^ up there...

or maybe you could try small family occasions?

i am assuming you play guitar/bass/drums...how are you when you play a live gig
#11
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#12
Wow! I have social anxiety too. Summer is terrible, because of course, I dont see any of my friends at school, and I'm terrified to set anything up. And worse, when I'm not doing anything (most of the time), I always think everyone else is doing fun stuff all the time without me. Terrible feeling. I just get scared, and think very negatively.

Its good to talk/get this out. I used to go to a therapist, but that didn't help me much, really.
#13
I have kind of the same thing, though I'm slowly growing out of it. I'm only absolutely comfortable around close friends...around new people, it's like a task to socialize and I get nervous(but it's getting easier).

My only suggestion is to force yourself. I used to shy away from parties and ****, now I go anyway...maybe I'll end up just hanging out with people I know because I'm not up to meeting new people, but sometimes I do meet people and that makes it worth it. Just call someone up, and the number one thing is dont fear rejection. I'm not saying you wont get rejected sometimes, cause you sure as hell will, just dont let it bother you, because it's like anything else in the world...not perfect. Have you ever goofed on guitar?
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#15
I would say im quite socialy anxious, but only through being shy. I dont like being put on the spot with another person, for example girls. I just go crazy inside if I make eye contact. Im fine with large groups of people as I know that only some will be focussing my attention.
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#16
Best advice i could give you is to stay away from all the drugs and stuff. They get you into the mentality that you have to take them to be socially accepted, it takes time but just find a group of people or a place where you are confortable and just gradually work on your self confidence, it'l come naturaly
#17
i feel sorry for you man. erm well if i was you i would just have a few beers before i go to a party or something, thats sure to loosten u up? i dunno really. i'm pretty sure you'll grow out of it though because my uncle used to have it when he was younger and as he got older it just vanished.
#18
wicked, it feels great to be apart of something.

working in an industry where it is a requirement to talk to strangers like retail/customer services, definitely helps break social anxiety. when i as 15 i had a massive problem talking to strangers or even family, going out wasnt an option, i hated it. when i started working for this furniture delivery company, you're required to approach strangers (customers/people receiving the furniture), be assertive, and to deal with there f*cking b*tching and moaning when something didnt go there way. it was difficult at first, but 5 years later im alot better in public
#19
i get quite nervous in public and around people i dont know. When im around close friends and family im fine, but i always feel like im being judged when in public. Dam puberty, i expect ill get over it though
#20
I think I have this.

I have a good social life, but when I talk to some strangers I come across so awkward...well at least that's what my mind tells me. I wish I didn't think about stuff so damn much but I guess I have to work on it.

I find my social skills always revolve around how tired I am. If I am tired I will just stay pretty quiet, but if I have the energy inside of me I am more outgoing and chatty.
I wish I had more energy inside of me, I just always feel so lethargic and sluggish. Some people get buzzed-up so easy and are fun to be around, but me I have lost all my juvenile hyperactivity and excitement.
#21
I would get fairly anxious in social situations, but I have no idea why, I try and think of why im anxious I cant come up with anything. its a pain in my ass. Tho a lot of the things you guys are saying ring a few bells
#22
I used to be like that. I was on medication for a little while, but I didn't like the idea of being on, plus I don't think they actually did much. Anyway I found the best thing wasn't to start slowly or anything, the best thing is to force yourself to be really outgoing, which I know is really hard. Just start randomly talking to people, and don't hesitate, otherwise you'll get scared.

Just stop giving a f uck what other people think. Some people may think you're an arrogant d ick for acting like this, but f uck them, as long as your enjoying yourself.
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#23
Quote by jon333
Wow! I have social anxiety too. Summer is terrible, because of course, I dont see any of my friends at school, and I'm terrified to set anything up. And worse, when I'm not doing anything (most of the time), I always think everyone else is doing fun stuff all the time without me. Terrible feeling. I just get scared, and think very negatively.

Its good to talk/get this out. I used to go to a therapist, but that didn't help me much, really.


I'm exactly the same, but by having good friends, I'm slowly but surely getting over it.
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#25
Yea, I had a horrible time in high school due to social anxiety. Really made a mess of my high school years. I pretty much just grew out of it with age and adopting the addiitude of "who cares what others think." Seriously, in the large scale of things you are not much different than other people in terms of your thoughts, emotions, fears, and desire to be accepted. YOu are possibly, like me, just a little overly sensitive and lacking confidence. No need for medications, just tell yourself to enjoy life rather than worrying about it or how others perceive you. If someone likes you great, if they don't its no biggie.
#26
Quote by radio_schizo
This site is really good, and shows how some guy got over his confidence issues. It's all from personal experiences and is casually written...give it a read, there's loads of different article's about specific issues

http://www.succeedsocially.com/index.html



That's indeed a great site. TwistedLogic, you have some really good points
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#28
I always get it and I have found my only cure for it, if you can call it that, is alcohol. I am not talking about getting ****faced but I get drunk so that I can have confidence.

Its legal for me anyway so I am not knacker drinking and I never have.
#29
^That's just a quick fix, it doesn't make you confident, it just creates an illusion that you are. Sure it's fun to get drunk at parties as people open up more than usual, but you don't want to rely on booze too much for obvious reasons.

I think shyness is something most people grow out of once they are older and have more experience under their belt, but it definatley doesn't completely disappear from you. The thing is to do this you also have to actively to try and change by stepping out of your comfort zone instead falling back on the easy option. This is hard and requires persistence until it becomes second nature. It is especially hard if you suffer from depression as you won't have the energy or drive behind you if you were happy.
#30
Quote by nick dixon
I would say im quite socialy anxious, but only through being shy. I dont like being put on the spot with another person, for example girls. I just go crazy inside if I make eye contact. Im fine with large groups of people as I know that only some will be focussing my attention.



Ditto. I am getting better but I always shake before going on a night out and I behave very nervously. I stop after a while but it will still happen each time.
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#31
ah im good when meeting strangers but i ****ing hate being alone in a crowded place, especially at carnivals or malls....i get depressed for some reason
#32
This is probably one of the most helpful threads I've seen in The Pit.

I never thought about it before, but after reading all of your descriptions I am sure that I have social anxiety disorder too. When around people I do not know very well or strangers, I just feel like an outsider and constantly think that people are judging me. And if I ever hear a group of people laughing, in the back of my mind I always think that they are laughing at me.

I have went out before (like to a bar etc. though I am 16 so not too many times), and to be honest I did find that alcohol helped and made me temporarily more confident and a little more extrovert. But still many times I purposely avoid going out because I am just too nervous about meeting new people.

I hope over time I can overcome all of this, and reading all of your posts has been helpful!

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#33
A very close friend of mine has it... He used to be extremley shy and nevrvous but now he's getting better... Just try to start talking to people more that's the only thing that helps I think-
#34
I get nervous when encountering new social situations. I'm introverted and would guess you are too. Not much you can do about it really. Just try and be as confident as possible.
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#35
Quote by radio_schizo
^That's just a quick fix, it doesn't make you confident, it just creates an illusion that you are. Sure it's fun to get drunk at parties as people open up more than usual, but you don't want to rely on booze too much for obvious reasons.

I think shyness is something most people grow out of once they are older and have more experience under their belt, but it definatley doesn't completely disappear from you. The thing is to do this you also have to actively to try and change by stepping out of your comfort zone instead falling back on the easy option. This is hard and requires persistence until it becomes second nature. It is especially hard if you suffer from depression as you won't have the energy or drive behind you if you were happy.


Well said.
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EHX Small Clone
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10rdcKp317I - New X-men Theme Vid