#1
This is my first song on this site, Peace and Love

[Verse One]
Hey you...
Sitting all alone
Lost without a home
Clueless...What to do...


[Verse Two]
Hey You...
Staring into darkness
While your sky goes starless
Living a life you never knew
Hey...You there...
Lost without a key
Salvation hard to see
Never knew how to be
Free...

[Bridge]
Keeping you alive
To stop the cancer inside
To bring back the shine
I'd give anything, for more time
To spend more time
In
Your
Eyes
Some Of Those That Work Forces
Are The Same that burn Crosses
#3
Quote by sevenatenine
oh, I thought pink floyd, but i guess not


Love Em, I get alotta inspiration from them.
Some Of Those That Work Forces
Are The Same that burn Crosses
#4
Wow, this song is really good, I like it.

This is my only comment:

[Bridge]
Keeping you alive
To stop the cancer inside
To bring back the shine
I'd give anything, for more time If you removed this line in order to help the flow a little bit, will it change the meaning?
To spend more time
In
Your
Eyes

-------------------

If you would, could you crit the piece I just wrote titled: Saved?
#5
Very Nice. For a first song its very very good.
My only crit is that some of the lines:
Living a life you never knew
Lost without a home
are pushin on cliche, but because you write the song in such a simplistic way they seem t fit and flow well. I really enjoyed reading this also because the rhyming didnt seem to forced either. Very Nice, keep up the good work, ill keep my eye out for your new posts.

Crit my three if you can. (There in my signature below)
Peace man.