#1
Crit for crit and stuff.

EDIT: Updated. If you don't have Guitar Pro, the MP3 is on my profile.
Attachments:
Floorboards.zip
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
Last edited by duncang at Dec 12, 2008,
#3
Amazing work.

Everything flowed beautifully.

I like how you used tremelo picking on the drum parts. That was creative. I'm definitely stealing that idea.
Spiral Out
#4
I think it's beautiful. The strongest parts IMO are at 71-74 and the violin melody at the end part of the song, the one that starts around bar 150.

The violin and the cello were too loud when i listened with RSE on, but when i turned it off it sounded better...

I think that you should cut down some of the parts, because it sounded a bit repetitive at some places, but you varied stuff very well so the same wasn't lick played again and again.

A little more lead guitar would be nice too

#5
Fantastic! that was so lush and soothing it was quite unbelievable. I love the interplay between the instruments and the nice loping feel.

Brilliant!
hardcore.till.i.die
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#6
Quote by ClosedCasket
Fantastic! that was so lush and soothing it was quite unbelievable. I love the interplay between the instruments and the nice loping feel.

Brilliant!


Loping feel?
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#7
Yup, this was very good- I especially liked how everything blended together nicely. Hmm...perhaps a solo? I dunno, but it's still good as it is.
#8
Hmm. I didn't really like the intro until the guitar came in. Very soothing. I like the part after it as well. The whole thing is pretty calming. It's pretty good, though a little repetitive. I like the ending the most probably, it's very epic. It seems like the kind of song you could get lost into you know? Very nice. Good job
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#9
as stated before it is pretty repetitive and slow but as a slow song it would be great with some great vocals and could be a pretty epic piece. especially that build up at 100 somewhere. with the nylon rhythm. the strings harmony at 150 was great too. i found myself skipping quite a bit though vocals wouls sort out that aspect
#10
Quote by ch715dallat
as stated before it is pretty repetitive and slow but as a slow song it would be great with some great vocals and could be a pretty epic piece. especially that build up at 100 somewhere. with the nylon rhythm. the strings harmony at 150 was great too. i found myself skipping quite a bit though vocals wouls sort out that aspect


Not gonna have vocals.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#11
I'm digging it.

Work on the climax a bit, and try to make the build up a little more interesting; also, it doesn't really come down, and kinda just...ends. Just some suggestions!
#12
I liked the intro, sounded like it could be a like a Scottish folk song Just a very slow one.

The part where the guitar came in was great aswell.
Although, at bars 31-32 the drum build-up is maybe a bit to strong, it sounded like you were about to go into something faster and heavier.

Nice chords in 33-36, kinda missed the bass section in the cello though.
And gets rather repetative too.

41-44 was excellent again, not much i can say.

45-48 don't really work without the proper drum beat IMO, and the transition to it from the previous part sounded a bit forced.

The next part is awesome, this is starting to turn into an 'OmG tHiS iS AmAziNg 10/10 lololol' crit

A little rave going? bar 63 and the likes.

71-74 was amazing again The last note on the repeat though, acts as an imperfect cadence to the part, it doesn't sound ready to move on.

Your drums are a bit too overpowering at 86-89, well actually until 93 tbh.

The clean part starting 94 was awesome, reminds me of Buckethead

Aww, shame you didn't build on that, the next part was pretty meaningless, until the Violo comes in.

The next Viola melody was great, but it now sounds like a bunch of ideas thrown together rather than a song.

Great wee clean break without the drums. I think you've too many themes that are repeated.

147+ with the distortion i really didn't like. Took away the general feel and sounded pretty chaotic.

I thought you could have ended it better aswell, like use the intro with a long fade?

I don't know, great job though!
#13
Very well done.

Some of the sections sounded a bit too synth-y for my liking, but at points, it could well have been any of the great post rock bands.

All in all, something to aspire to.

Hopefully I'll have my recording gear setup soon, and I look forward to trying this myself!
#14
Quote by buckethead_jr


147+ with the distortion i really didn't like. Took away the general feel and sounded pretty chaotic.


Dude, WTF.

The ending is the climax of the 'general feel'.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#17
Great song, i liked how you used different instruments but wouldn't that be hard to play live?

I liked all of it. It was amazing. The drums were great and made the song more epic.
Don't add vocals, like one guy said, it would ruin the song.
I think it's good how repetive it is, it increases the effect. So basically change nothing. The song's great.

10/10 You must be cheesing?
#18
Alright, it's been a while but I've updated it and extended the length by about 3 minutes. Made some changes and added a couple of sections. It's back on the first post, tell me what you think
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#20
Wow. That was amazing. I loved every bit of it, even the parts I'm about to critique. lol

I think that the drums dont' really fit until after measure 77 really. For the parts prior to 77 it just sounds too chaotic for what the song is doing. Also, in measures 121-129 they don't really seem to fit either. Maybe don't hit the cymbal so many times in each measure until about 125?

Not really critique.. But I really liked measures 92-103; that part reminded me of something Daft Punk would do. =)

At 165 I think it might sound a little better if you put in a quiet fade on the guitar instead of it just ending abruptly in 164. Speaking of fades... At 258 I really wanted to hear the end of that chord. Maybe don't do a full fade on the guitar... Instead fade to 1 or 2?

At 180, there's 2 half notes, and my ear wanted another note in the same register... Like, maybe a cello note underneath the viola (Low C#?) with a fade on it.


Just some ideas. =)
#21
I can describe this in one word: shiver.

The whole flow of this sent shiver and shiver down my spine. It was beautifully written, pieced together.. It's definatley and obviously so much more than this - indescribable.

My only complaints about it were that seemed repetitive. It wasn't at all predictable, so it's hard to justify both claims. Then the distortion guitar .. it fit perfectly, but I couldn't help but feel that it just didn't do justice to the music before it. Basically, I'm in a love/hate relationship with this piece. I envy your obvious musical superiority. Thank you for writing this.
#22
The beggining was cool. Especially when the twelve string came in. Relaxing, yet edgy.

Didn't realy like the violin/chello. But that's just Guitar Pro. Drums were also way too basic here.

66 sounded okay, but something was defineteley missing. You should but some strings or something under that.

It sounded better when the bass came in.

Yeah so far I honestly can't see what's so great about this.... I'm not really enjoying it that much.... it's kind of boring...

129 is really good though.

Up to 221, it was really starting to drag. But it gets better when the electric guitar comes in.

Nice little solo at 239...

Um yeah.... so I guess tht was okay. I can't really put my finger on it..... but throghout the whole song, it just felt like there was something missing.... don't really know what though....

But good job anyway..... for me, that was a 7.5/10.

You can crit one of mine if you'd like. One of the bottom two in my sig would be fine. But the second to last one is probrably more your style.

Peace.
I'm a person.
#23
MIDI? no gp for me =(

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

- John Milton, Paradise Lost
#24
Quote by metallicafan616
MIDI? no gp for me =(


There's an MP3 version on my profile.
Quote by justinb904
im more of a social godzilla than chameleon

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Alright, I'll give them a try, Japanese Black Speed rarely disappoints.

Quote by azzemojo
Hmm judging from your pic you'd fit in more with a fat busted tribute.
#25
Great job, love it. Bit of constructive criticism:
I think that as your not adding any vocals, your going to have to make the repetitive bits more interesting, or take a few out.
Other than that, maybe pad out the end solo a bit, your buildup was brilliant, but then the solo at the end was a bit of a let down in terms of length, it was still a quality solo but you could go places with that even if it means the song is then 13 minutes long
Im looking forward to hearing more from you in the future aye
#26
Bar 66-69 sounded kind of like Tears Don't Fall by Bullet for my Valentine.