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#1
Guy schools borderline feminazi girlfriend. Got this from a different forum.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/60286784.html

"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either."

ZING!

Edit: I'll copy and paste the story here.
Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.

Quote by Sonicxlover
Kensai, I think I'll get a flamboyant sig.


Parker Nitefly Mojo sonnn
Jackson DK2M Dinky
Carvin Legacy
Fender Blues Jr.
Roland Cube 30X
Last edited by Sonicxlover at Jun 20, 2007,
#8
Rofl, amazing.

I might try that one next time.
Quote by demoniacfashion
Is there any black people on UG?
I don't think a lot of black people play guitar anymore.

Quote by Oasis-fanatic
they all kinda went extinct after hendrix really.


Needless to say, I lol'ed.

Quote by human panda
Appart from being on UG or wanking, thats what i mostly do
#11
That was absolute genious!
Quote by Liberation
Every time I see your avatar I want to slit your neck with a butterknife. Goddamn Pingu.
#13
Cute story, threadstarter.

I hope you guys all realize this never really happened. It's just a story made up by someone who was unhappy about his girlfriend.

Don't try this at home. It will just cause an ugly scene in public.


....Unless of course, you WANT to create an ugly scene in public.


@Suzie,
Your baby-daddy is out of the slammer. You don't need to read sex-threads anymore.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#14
i nearly fell onto the floor reading that
You cannot choose the little time you're given in this world. You enter bare and unclothed, provided only with intelligence enough to choose how you spend your time. You always have a choice. Always. Though be warned, your choice can rarely be undone
#19
Dear god.
That was pure ownage.
Gear

Fender Geddy Lee Jazz
Fender MIA Precision
Musicman Bongo
Boss TU-2
EBS TD650
EBS ProLine 2x10 x 2
#22
now that is pure ownage
Ain't Nuthin' But a UG Thang: Tha' Get Away Driva' of the UG Hip Hop/Guitar Music Equality Illuminati


Quote by Alicee
I gave my brother a hand job. It was weird at first. It was weirder after.



#23
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
@ SKY, pfft, I hovered and saw the word feminazi, got my attention. And welcome back!


Carrying my spawn, and you can't even get my name right? Honey, you make me feel so cheap and dirty! *chuckle* It's great to be back, thanks.

SYK


just so I'm not spamming:

Even though this was a made up story, It's still fun reading. Thanks TS.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#24
Whoever wrote that is my hero.
Quote by Teh Traineez0rz

I'm having chicken nuggets for lunch.

My Day > Yours
#30
Pure genius.
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#33
yup, I go through this a lot, and I just got married


problem is, women don't reach their sexual peak until their late 30s, early 40s, which happens to be where guys reach their slump
mydadisjewish = avatar stealer
#34
hahah that made my day...****ing hilarious
[img]http://img300.imageshack.us/img300/3760/356h356h365pc1.png[/img]
Die Ruhe vor dem Sturm.
#35
****ing great!
Quote by nxtvanhalen
i marvel at how people could have the patience to build a guitar basically from scratch, since i try to do something for about 5 seconds, and if it gives me any trouble it usually ends up...you know... on fire.
#36
That's epic.
High Cardinal of Zeppelinism PM TheHeartbreaker to join and
"Co-Founder (and Yoda) of the Star Wars Universe. PM me or SethMegadefan to join.


' " The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death"...'-p.269-Deathly Hallows
#37
i dare someone here to actually do it
Check out my guitar quartet composition The Lone Wolf and you will be rewarded! With a live wolf!

Are you a PROG-HEAD? I am.

Quote by Led Pepplin
I'm adding you to my list of most hated UGers.

#39
too threadstarter: that was like out of a movie!
I'd just like to say I fall into the 5% of us on this site who aren't metalheads.


I am UG's resident Communist.
#40
Brilliant.
Proud owner of an Engl Thunder 50 Reverb and an Ibanez S470

"The end is extremely fucking nigh..."
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