#1
okay new peice I just wrote in a short amount of time so it's a work in progress. I'm going to sweep and mop my basement now so please give me some good critiques. as always, im Crit for crit!!!!!


Call it Whatever

I'll be the king, but I'll start the rebellion,
And what kinda image do you think you're sellin'?
I realize that I can't afford the distance
between you, me, you and the resistance.
Slack off and don't show now consistance, come on
Get up and be persistant.

Call it drugs, call it food, you can call it what-ever
Get high, get low, now you can't remember.
Call up, the animal crematory
Ask them if they can cremafy Bob Marley
While you're at it, make it a habit to refrain:'If not Marley, how 'bout Cobain?'

If you can't sweep then you can't mop either,
Shoot the breeze and take the time to realize her
She may be simple,
and she may be hard
she may be complicated
but you still got your guitar!

You may find you don't wanna go to college,
You may find you don't wanna die a virgin,
You may find you don't wanna go to high school,
You may find that you never wanna be cool,
You may reconsider, that you wanna learn some knowledge,
Reconsider, you wanna do some learnin'
Then I suggest that you begin turnin' the wheels in your head
I suggest, living in bed.


You can never fucking trust Canada when Canada decides to report on world news that doesn't concern Canada. Canada is only in it for Canada's sake. Canada doesn't even know Batman.

Fuck Canada
Last edited by that soccer kid at Jun 21, 2007,
#2
I think it has potential, but it definetly needs some revisions.
Its all in sentence reordering, and I have trouble with that alot, but as long as u rewrite it with different syntax(word ordering) it could be a very good song

Crit 4 Crit PLEEEAASSSE
#1 in La-La Land
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=611674

Psychotherapists Nightmare
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=611729
My guitars:

Ibanez RG5EX1
Eleca Dread Acoustic
Dean ML

My FX: Line 6 Floor POD Plus

In the end, fact means nothing,
its all about perspective