#1
The light collects, and projects itself onto a shelf, where a china doll is held.
So I wonder what the future could hold for something so delicate, yet bold.
That tip toes to the edge of 'her' ledge, and announces to a less than interested room, she says: "I'm indestructible".
Then falls.
It reminds me of the firefly who just floats and glows and never wonders why.
Or the tiny match, held to the sky, miserable, for he soon shall die.
A victim of the temporary he is struck.
And in a justified self-confidence he says to himself:
"I am the sun, I am".
Then burns out.
Don't wait for me.
Don't follow me.
Tired eyes will eventually
Get heavy.
We're just waiting to wake up.
Well the ribbons been cut.
Bombarded by seconds, absorbed by time...
"Oh how strange it is to be anything at all"

---

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=609337
#2
I really liked this. Seemed very deep and wasn't too much to wrap my mind around to get the whole idea. The title is good and fits very well, I love the part about the match. The only line that seems to throw me off is, "Then falls". 8/10
LimbLifter is the best band in the world! and they're Canadian .
#3
This was interesting, it was fun to read. kind of psychedelic if u ask me, really twists ur mind. not much bad to say. keep 'em comin'

crit 4 crit?
No Dollar Left Behind
My guitars:

Ibanez RG5EX1
Eleca Dread Acoustic
Dean ML

My FX: Line 6 Floor POD Plus

In the end, fact means nothing,
its all about perspective
#4
yeh i used then falls just because the china doll and all the characters are representitives of a side of humanity. and i just wanted a quick parralel with the fall of man.
you know...kinda the china doll is us fragile...and it took all of our innocence to swell to arrogance and think we're great then realise we're really nothing at all in the larger perspective, and are somewhat crippled by this fragility
#5
That's a good idea, I still think maybe change the word falls to a more stronger word, even to just lengthen the line for the flow.
LimbLifter is the best band in the world! and they're Canadian .
#6
i like it. very floydish. I like the long lines, a lot of people try to avoid those. good job
#7
amazing. My favorite part was with the doll, it gave more meaning to it. The doll was trying to make itself believe it was indestructable, but then falls and shatters. It is just like people, we can try to think we're strong, but we really aren't. I loved it!
"Penis"
"That's right kids, I said penis"
:stickpoke
98% of teens have been around or have had alcohol. Put this in your sig if you like bagels.