#1
Another song, which i wrote for my old band Reeper
It started out as a Judas Priest riff, which i stole the basic notes from
and made a song out of.

Intoxicated

He smacks her down
And starts to yell curses
He sits back on the couch and takes another sip
From the cold beer in his hand
The wive hears the sound
Of the TV he turned on again
She let herself frown
Dream away to a better place

Why do you try?
Why do you keep on with this?
Hold me tight and cry
You know he's gonna drink tomorrow too


From here it just go solo, solo, solo, harmonic...
I had written a second verse, but i did not like it. but i'm open for suggestions.
I know that third and fourth stanza in the verse is long, but you can sing it, it just goes fast.
#2
Thats it !?!??! the song feels unfinished like really....and the song just doesn't work for me cause it just feels u just put words down that would make a good drunk abuse song and the idea of the song was kinda *****d to a T...to much people do these kinda songs and don't add to it.....next time try to add something to it and try to give more ideas into the song but anyways i think u could do better
#4
Sounds alright. It doesnt really have a nice flow to it, but its good. You might wanna finish it. ^^
#5
damn, I was hoping there was more, it's really good.
"Penis"
"That's right kids, I said penis"
:stickpoke
98% of teens have been around or have had alcohol. Put this in your sig if you like bagels.