-- Verse 1 --
Left to heal
Twist this formality skin-deep
Remind me you're still real

-- Chorus --
This is not a mistake (Repeat x3)

-- Verse 2 --
Broken deal
Is your disdain only skin-deep?
Tell me how to feel

-- Chorus --
Is this a mistake? (Repeat x3)

-- Instrumental --

-- Bridge --
Etch initials in my arm
To pre-determine all the harm

-- Instrumental --

-- Verse 3 --
Our final meal
Your sorrowed face is just skin-deep
You're grinning as I kneel

-- Chorus --
This is all a mistake (Repeat x4)
If it's ment to be a mostly instrumental song, the lyrics are alright, nothing to fancy though. If it is long, lets say about 3-4 minutes, the lyrics would hardly be enough.
Yer mostly instrumental.

It was originally a poem, so that's why it's not too lyric-heavy, but I find if I drag the lines out (that is, sing them over a slower tempo instrumental) it doesn't seem too lacking in words.
the rhyming between verses is nice, as well as the structure similarity, nearly word-for-word. its nicely dark and thoughtful. its vague enough to let people think what they will, yet speific enough to let us know how you feel. i like it. the only thing i can find wrong with it is more a matter of taste and that is the repeatedness of the line in the chorus. but since it changes a little each time, i think it could work. keep up the good work.
Quote by Dimebag22
This might just be the smartest guy in The Pit. I didn't believe Ethan when he told me there were smart people in The Pit But I was wrong.

yeah, thats me

member 42 of the Iron Maiden are gods club. PM revelations to join
Cheers, yeah, the altering line for the chorus it's meant to show the kind of realization that what he's doing is 'all a mistake'. Like, first he denies it being one, then later down the track he questions it, and once he sees her 'grinning as he kneels' he knows that he should've got out of there back when he questioned it.