#1
(no chorus yet)

Look at me!
Do you see?
That you have ruined my whole life
You took my heart
Ripped it apart
But still your picture keeps running through my head

That night when I cried
You might as well have stabbed me and left me to die
Can you see?
What's left of me
Is a broken heart and faded memories

We're still friends
But I feel like I don't know you
Do you swear the words you speak are honest?
When we talk outside
You don't know how I feel inside


(what do you think?)
How could I make it better?
Last edited by gjmmh123 at Jun 28, 2007,
#2
be careful of cliches for 1 (broken heart, faded memories, ripped heart, running through my head, etc.)

its too specific and shallow for my taste.

the line "You might as well have stabbed me and left me to die" doesnt flow very well

the last 2 lines are nice though, how they play off of each other

keep up the good work
Quote by Dimebag22
This might just be the smartest guy in The Pit. I didn't believe Ethan when he told me there were smart people in The Pit But I was wrong.

yeah, thats me

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