#1
VERSE 1

Awoke from my sleep
Thought i was
in a dream

The night before
My nightmare said
I was not myself


BRIDGE

Looked in the mirror
My reflection
My escape from fear


CHORUS 1

Went downstairs
saw my son
innocent, sitting there
full of life

But the day
wouldn't end
until his life was taken
by the one who loves him most


VERSE 2

CHANGES IN MY MIND COME FAST,
SHIFTS IN MY EMOTIONS START,
EVIL THOUGHTS POUR INTO MY HEAD!

THOUGH MY BODY IS STILL THERE,
MY SOUL HAS ESCAPED FROM IT
A NEUROTIC MAN'S IN ITS PLACE!

A demon is
inside of me
Takes control of my life


BRIDGE 2

Ran to the basement
seized my gun
My escape from life


CHORUS 2

Went upstairs
saw my son
innocent, lying there,
lifeless face

Cold lead death
in his head
placed without a care
by the one who loved him most


End part

What have I done?
This anguish I've caused.
It must end before
I unleash more hatred upon the earth.
For I was the one who loved him most.

(Edit: A/N this was purposely meant to be unpoetic and more straightforward story-telling.)

(Edit2: If you want to hear the song as it was recorded with my band (I'm the drummer) go here http://www.myspace.com/thebandanimus | the song's name is Neurotic. If I'm not allowed to post links, let me know.)
#2
I know it is pretty bad, but I'd really like some criticism. Please critique if you can.
#3
wow, it was really good. But, my god, the story it tells is so sad. . anyway, i didn't have any problems with it, and it's not bad, give urself more credit. nice work.
"Penis"
"That's right kids, I said penis"
:stickpoke
98% of teens have been around or have had alcohol. Put this in your sig if you like bagels.
#4
Quote by Emo Cookie
wow, it was really good. But, my god, the story it tells is so sad. . anyway, i didn't have any problems with it, and it's not bad, give urself more credit. nice work.


Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me.