#1
plz rate (not english)


“this song you sing”

This song you sing
Its heavenly
So god bless you
All of suddenly
I feel numb
Trying to feel the ground
But I only feel drowned
Hope you cant heal my wound
Before I get my crown

The angels are singing
my ears are bleeding
Theyre are just feeding
On to the beautifull sound of yours
You give to all the Poor’s
And all those in pain
And all the insane

Please beware of the dark
My love
So you don’t gonna remark
The angel above
With blood and terror
Pain flood and brain error
Trying to feel the ground
But I only feel drowned
Hope you cant heal my wound
Before I get my crown

The angels are singing
my ears are bleeding
Theyre are just feeding
On to the beautifull sound of yours
You give to all the Poor’s
And all those in pain
And all the insanes
Guitars:
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Parker Nitefly with SD Hotrails and JB Two Tone

Amp
Marshall dsl 401

Effect:
Boss DD-6
EHX Big Muff
#2
First Stanza - "All of suddenly" does not make sense. It does fit the rhyme though.
Second Stanza - "Theyre are just feeding" It should be 'They are just' "Yours" and "Poor's" I feel is extrememly forced to rhyme. It doesnt really flow.
Third Stanza - "So you don't gonna remark" I think that should be 'So you don't got a remark'

All in all this is a very beautiful piece of writing you have here. Very well written, except for those things which I pointed out. And good job since you are not a native english speaker.
Keep up the great work.
Crit one of mine if you get the chance? In the sig.