#1
ha ha, you guys will never get what this is about. kudos goes to whoever does. although I don't know how far you'll go to get kudos.


Purple Black & Pumpkin Juice

Purple
is the color,
of the book he rereads daily.


Black,
is the spine
which hugs the title dearly.

Open,
on page 386,
is an empty envelope left to mark his place.

There is no more evidence to fill the gap between his teeth.
nothing to quench his thirst, or to eat.
like pumpkin juice at midnight,
when it turns to 21st from 20

He has waited, and waited,
and is glad to hand over,
His money to,
the bookshop owner.


You can never fucking trust Canada when Canada decides to report on world news that doesn't concern Canada. Canada is only in it for Canada's sake. Canada doesn't even know Batman.

Fuck Canada
#2
Umm I'm confused, like really what is this about??

I will say it is pretty original O.o
Quote by dann_blood
Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton. I heard that and set me off on a destructive rampage for weeks.


Quote by FearTheD
i want him to ride his magical roll of USPS stickers to Valhalla
#3
only nerds like me would get it.


You can never fucking trust Canada when Canada decides to report on world news that doesn't concern Canada. Canada is only in it for Canada's sake. Canada doesn't even know Batman.

Fuck Canada
#4
it's really good, but seriously, what's it about? I really wanna kno! Anyways, it flowed really well, and sounds really cool.
"Penis"
"That's right kids, I said penis"
:stickpoke
98% of teens have been around or have had alcohol. Put this in your sig if you like bagels.
#5
Dude, ur reading a harry potter book, my lil bro reads it
My guitars:

Ibanez RG5EX1
Eleca Dread Acoustic
Dean ML

My FX: Line 6 Floor POD Plus

In the end, fact means nothing,
its all about perspective
#6
lol. damn you kids are quicker than i thought.


You can never fucking trust Canada when Canada decides to report on world news that doesn't concern Canada. Canada is only in it for Canada's sake. Canada doesn't even know Batman.

Fuck Canada
#8
yea its funny. can i get a real crit please?


You can never fucking trust Canada when Canada decides to report on world news that doesn't concern Canada. Canada is only in it for Canada's sake. Canada doesn't even know Batman.

Fuck Canada
#9
Haha, that is so sweet.
HP all the way.

But seriously, that is really nicely written. It has a good flow and is lovely to the ear. Good job.
i look down at my hands,
like they were mirrors.
#12
No real crits yet, I guess I'll do one.

Purple
is the color,
of the book he rereads daily.
Good, but nothing that stunned the living daylights out of me. Average beginning. It didn't really grasp me

Black,
is the spine
which hugs the title dearly.
Along the same lines, good but nothing extremly amazing yet.

Open,
on page 386,--this comma is unneeded.
is an empty envelope left to mark his place.
Not anything wrong here but nothing outstanding.

There is no more evidence to fill the gap between his teeth.
nothing to quench his thirst, or to eat.
like pumpkin juice at midnight,
when it turns to 21st from 20
Here is where it gets good. The imagery works much better here, the flow is nicer. My only concern is the third line from the bottom doesn't make sense.

I phrased this slightly different.
He has waited, and waited,
and is glad to hand over his
money. To the bookshop owner.

Overall this was a "cute" poem. I don't know how to phrase this really. The writing within itself was good, no doubt about it. The problem was is that this wasn't gripping. It was great fun to read but not stunning. C4C: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=618599