#1
This is the improved version fo an original post. crit for crit


Summertime


Guided by my four senses
To the place i like to call home
The surf is up and im feelin good
And now its time to go...

(chorus)
Cause its summertime
The one season to get that pleasin'
Summertime
Reachin for those heavenly skies
Summertime
Now we’ve entered a care free place

Wakin up at 12 o clock
is the way i like to roll
Stayin up till 3 a.m
Come on now its time to go...

Chorus

Drivin down to the lake
Windows rolled down
The wind hitting against my face
Now were starting that Summertime race!

Chorus

The suns beating down on that hot summer sand
Come on girl and take my hand
We’ll go wherever
Cabo, Jamaica or the Carribean Seas

Chorus

Beaches and those Californian dreams
Surfing until the sun goes down
Reflectin back on those memories
Summer please don’t ever stop

Chorusx2
"You've got to dance like nobody else is watching.
Dream like you will live forever.
Live like you're going to die tomorrow,
and love like it is never gonna hurt."
-- James Dean (1931-1955)

Quote by JakeTheDuck
This man has the right idea.


^
oh yeahhh
#3
hmm im not to sure. Its good for what it is, but its nothing that really "wows". Sounds like an easy number to sing along to and play, which is fine if thats what your going for.

I think you should review

Drivin down to the lake
Windows rolled down
The wind hitting against my face
Now were starting that Summertime race!


i like the opening verse, but everything after that seems to be too similar too it. It requiresa little tweaking, but its certainly getting there.
And Like That. He was Gone.

My Lyrics

Love
#4
Pretty average. With the right music it could be really catchy, especially the chorus. If you combine the last two verses and take out the chorus in between them, that could work as a nice bridge. Also, that one line, like "we're starting that summertime race" or whatever, that was just bad. It sounded like you were rushing to find a rhyme. If you spent more time on it, it'd sound better.

Overall not bad at all. With the right music, it would be a really good song for summer.