#1
so, i'm on the (tyne and wear) metro, at the back of two carriages, we pull into a station in a rough-ish area and we hear this over the P.A. in a very reasonable sounding, quite well-spoken voice:


train driver: can the boy at the rear portion of the front carriage please leave the train.

*everyone looks towards front carriage*

train driver: go on, all of you, off, or the train isnt moving

...

train driver: its not moving till you get off, you're only holding people up

...
...
...

train driver: yea? thats not what your mother calls me

i rolfd anyway, it was better because we could only hear the driver, and not the 12 year old chav...genius

...pointless thread? maybe...share experiences? go on

Get off this damn forum and play your damn guitar.
#2
Haha, that would be funny to hear.
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#4
Hahah, nice.

My brother told me about a traindriver the other day that was saying something in the mic, but forgot to turn it off. He made alot of funny and weird sounds apparently
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#6
Quote by HelloPorkPieHat
Lol, what was the kid doing?


i'll never know

in some ways that only makes it funnier lol

this gang of 12 year olds were kicking the train when it pulled out and stuff. you could tell they felt soooooo small :P
Get off this damn forum and play your damn guitar.
#7
this is a real story....

there was a pilot in an aeroplane and forgot to turn the mic off... so he kept telling his co-pilot how he wanted a cold coffe and the air hostes to blow him... so the air hostess rushed into the cockpit to tell him to close the mic but before she reached the door there's this guy who shouts "he also wanted a cofee!!!"

Learn to swim....


Αλλη μια πέτρα που κυλά...


[quote="Chris.Rock.Art
"]he's my "friend" he said he wanted me to see. It wasn't an accident...he wants to have sex
#8
EDIT: FIXED!
Quote by The_Black_Dog21
this is a real story....

all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And Id like to take a minute just sit right there
Ill tell you how I became the prince of a town called bel-air

In west philadelfia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said were up in no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air
Live as a man. Die as a man. Become a man.

That's the proof of your incompetence, right there.
You lack the qualifications to exercise free will.
#10
Quote by The_Black_Dog21
this is a real story....

there was a pilot in an aeroplane and forgot to turn the mic off... so he kept telling his co-pilot how he wanted a cold coffe and the air hostes to blow him... so the air hostess rushed into the cockpit to tell him to close the mic but before she reached the door there's this guy who shouts "he also wanted a cofee!!!"


haha

excellent....
Songs!
Something's Changed
Frost

BC Rich Mockingbird Evil Edge
Dean Palomino Vintage Sunburst
Indiana Scout Acoustic in Sparkly Blue
Kustom Arrow 16DFX, soon to be a Vox Valvetronix 50
Dimebag Custom Crybaby
Fab Tone
#12
I remember my friend owned a subway driver on halloween. The train was speeding down the tracks and my friend threw a pumpkin in the front of his window and it exploded into orangey awesomeness.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#13
Chavs on trains, I hate that combination. Apart from the inevitability that they'll listen to their terrible music at ear-piercing volumes from their tinny cheap phones, they also just can't go a whole train ride without making someone sitting close uncomfortable or intimidating.

The government shouldn't support scum like that.
Proud owner of an Engl Thunder 50 Reverb and an Ibanez S470

"The end is extremely fucking nigh..."
#14
well this isn't ownage I just had a really cool bus driver...

The bus bus pulled around the terminal to the stop and the bus driver came on speaker he said "helloooooooo, is it really warm out? cause it's really cool in here"......."so I guess you want to come in?"So he opened the door and started driving and all the time he was just talking on the mic like a tour guide and then all of the sudden he was like "OH SH!T!! which way do I go?? left or right?? quick people!!!" *the bus was silent* "ahhh i guess ill just take a left here" and later on he turned off the air conditioner and said "ok if anybody wants the air conditioning back on you have to put 2 dollars back into the air conditioning machine *extends hand*"no? nobody?........ ok" I can't remember anything else he said but the whole ride was amazing.

I never saw him again
UNLEASH THE FOCKING BURGERS
#15
my great-grandfather fell between a train and the platform and was grinded (ground?) to death.
I will fuc
#16
Some train drivers are safe as ****, some fatty British Transport Police bastard was hassling one of my mates and punched another for no reason and we made a wall to stop Mr. BTP from pulling our mate off the train. Mr. BTP gets off the train momentarily to call security and the driver closes the door instantly and just starts driving off.


We owe that bloke.
#17
one time there was this girl who wouldnt go to the back of the bus and she got arrested
#18
Quote by The_Black_Dog21
this is a real story....

there was a pilot in an aeroplane and forgot to turn the mic off... so he kept telling his co-pilot how he wanted a cold coffe and the air hostes to blow him... so the air hostess rushed into the cockpit to tell him to close the mic but before she reached the door there's this guy who shouts "he also wanted a cofee!!!"



If by "real" you mean a "joke" that's older than the hills, then yeah.
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