#1
hey, havent posted here in a while, but starting to come back since i have some more free time. the full title is "Athenas' Temple: The Fall of Innocence", and its in a suite style in a way. The whole meaning of the song lays in the story, which is the story of Medussa, and how she changed from a nymph to a snake haired creature because she was raped by Poseidon in a temple for Athena. The song expresses Medussa when she was a nymph, Poseidon as his angry self, and Medussas final change. There are some more subtle symbols and stuff, but if your the analytic type, go for it ;-)

http://brandon.dmusic.com/

defenitly crit for crit as well
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


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#2
Hi,

Well, I really like the epic feel to the song... it just sounds like something that should be playing during the background of an epic battle, where swords are clashing and whatnot. It's very good that way... However, it didn't really continue to grow after the original build-up, and the song never climaxed either... it just was. I wish it would have had more of a building to climax sort of feel as well... it would have given it an even more epic sound.

It's a great start, and a well recorded solid piece of music, however I think it has SO much more potential... there are so many directions you could take it. You could build up the tempo, slow down the tempo as if highlighting something, or even just completely change the style of music midway through (I half expected some sort of thrashing speed metal solo in the middle... and I honestly think that could fit in there well)

Don't get me wrong, this is MUCH better than what I could ever do, and I loved listening through it, however it just pains me to know there is so much more potential to a song that isn't being used.

PLEASE continue to work on it, and to tweak it... and repost it. It's great.
#3
Thanks for the crit!

Okay, i'm typing as I listen. I think the guitar line at the start of this is really beautiful. I'd personally repeat this introduction. My main problem is that whenever the percusion, distorted guitar and orch come in on the first forte chord it should be sustained longer. In the the next guitar breaks I think maybe the guitar and other instruments could be more equal in their distribution?

The clean solo guitar at the beginning of the next section is again beautiful. However, all the other instruments seem to do is accompany with loud forte chords. Even if that's all you want to do, you could try some suspensions or other devices. At about 5:20, I think that chordal effect is pretty interesting. It really adds to the mood.

Overall, I really like the operatic, epic style of the work - I just think you need to elaborate on the accompaniment. Like at 1:57 you put the other instruments to good use instead of accompnying with chords. The guitar writing throughout is excellent however. Try some things like pitting the guitar against the other instruments - instead of it being the dominant instrument throughout. I just think you need to bring out the classical/romantic nature of the work more (BTW, this is coming from someone who likes classical music a lot more than metal... )

The work has a lot of potential. I just feel that the clean, quiet guitar -- forte chords -- crescendo formula is a little repetitive. I'd be very interested to hear it with these adjustments.
#4
thanks for the comments :-D ive been experimenting with the orchestra stuff, and honestly dont know too much, i mostly know wat i know from playing jazz guitar and applied it there, which wasnt too much cept dynamics and stuff like that. ill try to work on what you were saying. the song seems to be better when you are thinking of the story and seeing the changes in it, i was going for like an english novel or something with music to it. it adds to the feel :-D
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


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Last edited by The2abraxis at Jul 5, 2007,
#5
Cheers for the crit

I really like how the song starts.. The intro guitar line + the disto sounds so nice, and then the orch, beautiful The drums are just perfect... Then the leads come in, sounds so great.. at 1:57 when the other instruments come in, that was one of my favorite part, you could hear there was an epic feel...

Overall the song was amazing Good job
#6
this is awesome dude...welli can agree with whats been said. the guitars tone sounds tinny and hollow. i think it was really lacking like a main "riff" or 2...it sounded more like a solo over an orchastra....idk how to say it but it felt like there was no solid ground somthing to come back on you know? anyway id like to know you get the orchestra sounds if you wanna give me a pm.....ooo just got to the end and i deffinately like the minor or what ever that scary part was \m/
#7
very well written i must say. the piece itself has a very opera kinda feel to it and I like how you incorporated different styles into your piece. my only real criticism is that the piece itself seems to repeat parts a little too much but it does change a little most times when it repeats which is very good. you tend to use arpeggios a little too much in this piece but your guitar work is great. the ending doesn't necessarily match the feeling of your piece, it has kind of an "epic" sound to it but doesn't end with a big finish. though the way it fades out also matches the premise of the story with Medussa's final change. btw i love the greek mythology theme, i love that stuff.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=622349
#8
Liked this, great sounds quality, and had a lot of depth. Decent guitar too! Nice. mind looking at my thread? (It's still right near the top, "Classical + Experimental")
Why did Pat Metheney cross the road? He didn't, his hair got in the way
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#9
no complaints here dude lol
awesome its just plain ****ing awesome lol, sorta reminds me of ..well..guilty gear lol
#10
First off. I was straight away into this. i love that orchestra sound mixed with rock/metal.

Also great name for the song.

Nice clean sound at the start and good smooth fluent playing. Kinda christmassy sound to it. The orchestra sounds ace behind it. I liked what you did with the distortion - kinda sounds percussion. Nice arpeggios - that bit was awesome.

The song kinda developed into a Dragonforce sounding thing. Nice lead guitar.

The synth sounds great in the middle. Nice devlopment with the clean into the heavy again like the intro.

Repeated section i think - Still sounds good. Back into the clean sound.

I like how you kept changing back and forth with sound and dynamics. I feel because of the length of the song - it got a bit repeptitive in place. Well recorded though and some strong songwriting.
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#11
First thing, thanks for your crit on mine.

This song is really something great... so well composed and well recorded. Sure, it gets a little boring at some points, and it lacks a worth ending to such a work; in fact, it seems to lose a lot of its power and feeling as you go towards the last part. So, what I'd do is make it just a little bit shorter and add a more powerful ending, but that's just my opinion... it's a great job anyway, keep it up and repost it if you make some changes.
#12
Quote by Coolvortex
First thing, thanks for your crit on mine.

This song is really something great... so well composed and well recorded. Sure, it gets a little boring at some points, and it lacks a worth ending to such a work; in fact, it seems to lose a lot of its power and feeling as you go towards the last part. So, what I'd do is make it just a little bit shorter and add a more powerful ending, but that's just my opinion... it's a great job anyway, keep it up and repost it if you make some changes.


thanks for the crit. im a big fan of the symbolism and such, and the ending was actually supposed to be like that. the ending gets weaker than how it started, and in the end, Medussa was weaker as well. the song mirrors her change and her "encouter" so to speak. theres a lot more symbolism involved, which actually makes some parts more interesting than if you didnt notice the symbolism. another one (a little more obvious) was E Maj is the nymph part of her (nice and happy), and E minor is her change and Poseidons part (nice and evil). also the structure mirrors the two people and her change, first introducing both, then showing their encounter, then the final change. theres more, but ill let you figure it out if ya want :-D
dude, what about an actual solo in death metal instead of that poof from linkin park. Think of Pulse of the Maggots - Bed Of Razors


#1 MEMEBER OF THE OFFICIAL THRASH METAL FAN CLUB (PM URE FAV BANDS TO ME TO JOIN)
#13
Everything sounds really good. I think the drums could be a little louder. but man. So much of this is absolutely beautiful.
Crit?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=623549
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#14
CRIT AS LISTEN:
Cool intro! Very melotic solos.
Parts of the song sort of had a "Hammerfall" meets "Symphony-X" feel to 'em.
It totally has a Epic Metal feel to it!
Some of the acoustics though out the song (near end) reminded me of Iron Maiden (Infinite Dreams & 7th Son of a 7th Son) !!

Very cool song overall! 9 out of 10!!



Crit Mine?
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Edited with Audacity & Adobe Audition 3
#15
so far i'm really liking it, the other instruments just came in and its still really cool, drums are to quiet in my opinion, its getting to be a bit repetitive, oh wait solo kind of thing awesome, this is a really cool change, seems like i've heard this riff before, oh wait not anymore, you really have awesome musical abilities, ooh another good change now its hella slower and cool i like it this is awesome, definitely really epic with lots of change im totally liking this so far two minutes left, a bit repetitive, but not bad oh **** nother change, yeah nice end. i liked it 10/10

check out mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=625556
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