#1
yes, i know i should google this or something, but whenever i do, i get bad links and stuff. so recently, my peeing stream has evolved or something into TWO streams. this is horrible because if i get one stream in, the other one is coloring the floor, and if i aim normal, both miss. so far the only use ive had with it is peeing in two urinals at once, but i want my single stream of justice back. any help?
#3
does It happens after you jack off / have sex, or all the time?
Quote by soulflyV
Prepare to have every orifice in your body occupied by a dwarf.
#6
carry a mini-funnel everywhere you go.
I bet you five bucks that I play guitar.
#8
Yep. I remember as a wee lad, my cousin and I were comparing our juvenile cocks (we were barely 5), and he was like: "You're circumsized! That means they cut off part of your peener. I'm not. That's why your stream is straight and mine is messy" I believe that was the reason for circumcision until I was much older. Anywho, yeah. It happens. But what you're describing (the second stream hitting the floor) is pretty severe. When that happens to me, the 'intonation' of my stream is off as a whole, and one big stream is, like, going sideways, but not really. I just adjust my aim. I'd suggest kneeling down next to the pot, or pissing like a girl. Good luck man!

Quote by someguitarguy88
This is what happens if you go over the three times a day jack-off limit.


I usually go ATLEAST three times a day. I remember when I was 14, and capable of marathon runs, I thought twice a day was more than adaquate. Now I'm older, and I just wank even MORE often! Quite the paradox. But, yeah, whenever I go more than three times, that is when my stream gets funky. You are a damned wise fellow!
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cool. Ever get head from a stuffed animal?

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#9
Stop masturbating/having sex frequently. Should clear your problem up. If not, watch what kind of fluids you consume. Drinking alot of pop could do that. Other than that, you should be fine.
Quote by Bodom_Shredder7
i hate you mer der. i hope you get a boner and accidently fall on it.


Quote by rocknrollstar
Excuse my stupidity , but what is a urethra ?

Im guessing anus.
#10
yeah its happened to me before after wankin. other than that its fine. if its doing it all the time idk whats wrong but just sit down on the toilet from now on.
Gear:
Electric
Yamaha RGX520
Fender Strat HSS

Acoustic
1952 Martin and Co 00-18.
Yamaha FGX730SCA

Amp
Fender Twin Reverb
Fender Amp FM25 DSP

Pedals
Boss DS-1
#11
It happens when you piss after jacking it. It usually splits into 2 streams for a second, then goes back. Feels pretty damn good though, eh?
#12
Its because your a dumbass and your forskin is covering your dick - P.S after sick your dick can got ape **** on you when you go for a pee...in the toilet.
Gear:

Squire Fat Stratocaster (Gotoh Pickups)
Marshall 50 DFX amplifier
Marshall Guv'nor II Distortion Pedal
Jim Dunlop Standard Cry Baby
Vintage VS6
#14
Quote by bendystraw
you have multiple penis syndrume (MPS) Im sorry you are going to die.



That was great.

Anyway...been having sex or whackin off too much lately?
R.I.P. Turner Blaine
#15
well since my question is answered (thanks, it was im uncirumcised+ i peed after wanking off [IT FEELS WEIRD! like a really tingly feeling]). that brings me to my next subject though. im new to wanking and stuff, and ive noticed my foreskin doesnt retract at all. its suppose to retract so the head is showing right? i know im uncircumsized but still, it should still retract. whenever i try, it feels liek my skin is too tight and if i go any further itd.. well... rip.

im extremely sorry for such stupid problems, but im growing and i have no male figure to ask haha (i know, im asking a friggin guitar forum).
#16
Quote by mer_der_noms
Stop masturbating/having sex frequently. Should clear your problem up. If not, watch what kind of fluids you consume. Drinking alot of pop could do that. Other than that, you should be fine.

STOP HAVING SEX?! Dear god man have you gone mad?!
Quote by Jackal58
If I was Santa you'd all get shit for Christmas.
#18
if your uncircumsized then your forskin won't retract unless you make it...it takes some getting used to - That bell end is pretty sensitive...
Gear:

Squire Fat Stratocaster (Gotoh Pickups)
Marshall 50 DFX amplifier
Marshall Guv'nor II Distortion Pedal
Jim Dunlop Standard Cry Baby
Vintage VS6
#19
yeah, your foreskin probably is edging over the head
My Gear:
Fender 60th Anniversary Standard Strat
Vox AD30VT
Big Muff Pi.
#20
lmao i hate when that happens though usually for me its just cause i get a piece of lint or something from my underwear partially covering up the whole its quite inconveinent

EDIT: nvm i didnt read the rest of the thread but if anyone else is having that prob who is circumsized i might have just given the answer to ure prob
<Raven> I got so baked last night
<Raven> that I WOKE UP high o_o
<Raven> Do you have any idea how euphoric that is?
<Raven> I felt like I was being born.
#21
Another penis thread!? People, you aren't going to get serious answers from the pit. And if you do you'll have to sort through the AIDs, and gay jokes.
#22
stop wanking it so much dude
Quote by 18th_Angel
No dude, that is definitely an ugly chick. I'm talking 10 or 11 beers ugly.
#23
Oh God... UG has gone from guitar talk...To Talking about some guys Penis / peeing Problems
#24
^ You're a little late finding this out
Death Cube K

Quote by primusfan
i know an old lady who supports abortion because it's generally low-class black women getting it performed and for her the less inner-city black kids (or blacks in general) there are, the better.

Oh Damn
#25
It happens to me after i have sex or beat the worm
Trust me I'm a doctor

A doctor with a mustache
#26
I remember this happened to me one morning. Scared the **** right outta me. So i wake up and walk to the bathroom and begin to pee and it felt kinda weird and i look down and i was peeing in THREE different directions! and sadly none of them were going in the toilet so i had to clean it up . It was a fun experience none the less
My Rig:

Guitars:
Schecter C-1 Classic (Deep Sea Green)
Jackson DK2M Snow White Edition
BC Rich Mockingbird Special X

Amps:
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Roland Microcube

RIP Kevin Robert Swerdfiger
September 15 1991 - May 16 2008
#27
Quote by The_Dyer_maker
Oh God... UG has gone from guitar talk...To Talking about some guys Penis / peeing Problems


You should have seen the ass hairs thread... lmao

besides... this is the pit man!
#28
Yea damm i have the same problem!?!? I wank an average of maybe once a day...is there anything really obvious that would help it go fvcking straight?

I am uncircumsized...

EDIT: Also, is it normal for your stream to not be perfectly straight out??? Cuz even when my stream is in single form, it always goes to far or off to the side or watever...
#29
Quote by Jonjy2
Yea damm i have the same problem!?!? I wank an average of maybe once a day...is there anything really obvious that would help it go fvcking straight?

I am uncircumsized...

EDIT: Also, is it normal for your stream to not be perfectly straight out??? Cuz even when my stream is in single form, it always goes to far or off to the side or watever...

serious question? if it is yes thats perfectly normal
#30
Quote by mer_der_noms
Stop masturbating/having sex frequently. Should clear your problem up. If not, watch what kind of fluids you consume. Drinking alot of pop could do that. Other than that, you should be fine.



lol who says "pop"
Veteran UGer. Suck it.