#1
Sleeping With One Eye Open

Go to sleep with one eye open,
Wake up with both of them gone
Sweaty palms and uncertain motions
Can't let anyone get near, intensely withdrawn

My children stare ever so creepily
What are they looking at?
I'm telling you they're trying to get me,
Along with my wife... the stupid, old bat

I set my mind to it and no turning back
That's when it happened I finally cracked
Grabbing a knife from the kitchen I started to hack
Hacking and hacking away at the bat

And then it was over just like that
I remember next who I was supposed to attack
Those children, the children with menacing glares
Piercing child eyes that no more I can bare

Who, what, where, and when
I wake up to that dream again and again
All these fantastic ideas that I can't shape,
Eerie thoughts that won't allow escape

That was when I was in the 11th grade. We had to enter some writing contest and I forgot about it and that was the only one left, write a 20 line poem. So I did, in about 20 minutes, sent it off, got my points for doing it and then forgot about it. Well, they sent me a letter today that says they want to publish it in some fancy book. Needless to say I was a little taken aback because I put zilch effort into it.

So, I was wondering what others think? Is there a possible song here?
Last edited by Robo Trippin at Jul 6, 2007,
#3
It's got great imagery, kind of all over the place, but I like it for what it is.

Crit for crit?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=621909
Guitars - Epiphone Les Paul Standard (Cherry Sunburst)/Alvarez Acoustic/Electric cutaway
Amp - Vox Valvetronix AD30VT 30W
Effects - Boss OS2/Boss DD6 Digital Delay/Digitech RP50

lost city radio. (acoustic)

Songs
Substance and Color