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#1
Like the title says
Moser Custom Shop 5-string Scimitar
Moser Arachnid
Fender Jazz MIM
Digitech Bass Driver
Morley Dual Bass Wah
Genz Benz GBE750
Genz Benz GB410T-XB2
#2
My friend was messing about with his Squier Strat, unplugged, and he said to me, "How come turnin' the volume knob doesn't make it louder?" bear in mind... the guitar was NOT PLUGGED IN! I just stared at him in disbelief...
#3
this happens to me all the time, ill be looking for like my keys. and ill go "where the **** are my keys!" and they'll literally be in my hand. it usually only happens when im in a rush though.
#4
Her: "I havent Smoked Weed Since.... the Last Time I smoked Weed"
Me: "Really? Me Either"

She didnt understand
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#6
"What's evolution? Is that like, with volcanoes?"


My science teacher's response: "No, its like, with pokemon."
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
Last edited by MedicreDemon at Jul 6, 2007,
#7
i was at a megadeth gig about a month ago and we got in just as the opening band were on their last song. they finished and my brother (who only went because i'm 17 and need an adult) turned to me and said "THAT'S the support act? i thought that WAS megadeth!"

needless to say i instantly left him and got lost in the crowd.
GEAR
PRS Custom 24
Tanglewood ROCK III
Epiphone LP Custom
Squier Strat
Epiphone Explorer
Ibanez GRG07LTD2
Marhsall AVT100
Originally posted by fender1618
i would rather have a guitar in place of my organs, OR CANDY
#8
"If it weren't for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college."
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#9
"You know, in essence, Hitler really wasn't all that bad of a person...I mean, some of his ideals would have worked in a better state..."

A friend of mine.
The.
#13
In a chemistry lab:

Girl "Isnt NaCl supposed to be yellow"
Me "No..."
Girl *Stares blankly for a minute* Really? *pause* Oh yeah!"
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#14
Quote by JewMasatFlex
this happens to me all the time, ill be looking for like my keys. and ill go "where the **** are my keys!" and they'll literally be in my hand. it usually only happens when im in a rush though.

same here
#16
oh, and one time my mate and i convinced this girl that there was a circus about a mile away at 2am because elephants didnt sleep. i was actually woken that night at half 2 by her...and the first thing i heard was "where is the circus again?"

i have quite thick friends....
GEAR
PRS Custom 24
Tanglewood ROCK III
Epiphone LP Custom
Squier Strat
Epiphone Explorer
Ibanez GRG07LTD2
Marhsall AVT100
Originally posted by fender1618
i would rather have a guitar in place of my organs, OR CANDY
#17
"I tried to have sex with a girl, but it took me a while to find the opening".
Peavey HP Signature EXP (SH4 JB/ SH2 Jazz)
Jackson DK2M
Fender MIM Stratocaster HSS
Fender MiM Telecaster

EVH 5150 III w/ EVH 2x12 cab
Peavey Vypyr Tube 60
Fender Blues Jr.

Boss ME-50; NS-2; RV-5; BF-3
MXR M101 Phase 90
#18
Friend: "My mom said it would be cheaper if we just got fountain soda machines in our house."
Me: "Leave"
Quote by unplugtheradio
fuck sigs

Quote by alex_haeni
Damn you kbass, you're good.

#19
^that would be kick ass...
Quote by Gibson_Rocker13
you are my new hero cause i do the exact same thing but i suck at it

#8 of the EHX USERS GUILD
Quote by SublimeGuitar
Orange Rocker 30. Best Marshall ever

epi firefly dsp 30, epi sg, big muff
olp five string, peavy max 158
#21
Me:What's that on your face?
friend of mines gf:Where?
Me:That white stuff right there*points out white stuff that looks like cum*
Her:*wipes off with finger and sticks in her mouth*I forget whose cum that is.
Me: ...
Quote by Jackal58
If I was Santa you'd all get shit for Christmas.
#22
Quote by MedicreDemon
"What's evolution? Is that like, with volcanoes?"


My science teacher's response: "No, its like, with pokemon."




Hmm... mine is probably "Can you be allergic to cigarette? "
Quote by gflip69
Someone called me on my landline (home phone) and asked me where I was.
#23
A white kid once said"I'm allergic to white people"
Quote by Jackal58
If I was Santa you'd all get shit for Christmas.
#24
Well, I was in class once, and this really dumb girl in my class was sitting next to me. A large truck or something went by, and made a loud metallic clanking noise. She jumped up out of her chair amazingly fast for someone who weighs about 300 pounds and has boobs the size of watermelons, and shouted, "OH SNAP, THEY SHOOTING!!!!!" The room went silent for a full ten seconds, and then everyone fell out of their chairs laughing, even the teachers....lol....
#25
"I like your boxers' but they'd look better off"
Quote by bearded_monkey
Everytime I go into the guitar shop and ask for a G-String the shopkeeper always makes that TERRIBLE joke about it not being an underwear shop

So next time I go in I'm gonna ask for a thong
#26
Quote by The Leader
"If it weren't for my horse, I never would have spent that year in college."


Lol...Lewis Black...
#27
In the 6th grade we had some drug awareness week and one of those days was about steroids. One of our coaches was a big black dude at least above 50, this is how he convinced me at least to never do steroids:

"Ok nah, don be doin dema steroids to get all buff and stuff. Replace soma dem roidz wiff steak... and potatoez... trust me. You be all like, 'STEAK N TATOEZ IS MAKIN ME ALL BUFF AND IT'S CRAZEH!!! Nah in 10 years you be walkin down da road and yo friends dey be all like, clutchin their sides going, 'GODDAMN MY ROIDZ IS HURTIN!! MY ROIDZ IS HURTIN!' and you be all like, 'Steak n tatoez (flex here)... steak n tatoez (flex here as well)'.

That one's up there for sure.
#28
"George W. Bush is a great president." and "The Earth is 10,000 years old."

TEXAS FTL
There ain't no moral to this story at all. Anything I tell you very well could be a lie.
#29
*moaning sound* "BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMY!!" BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMY!! BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMY!! BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMY!! BIG BUCKS NO WHAMMY!!

i then walk in...
I'll lay waiting, just waiting for my time to come
#30
"I thought Jimi Hendrix was white"

I swear this was said to me.
There were never any good old days/They are today, they are tomorrow/It's a stupid thing we say/Cursing tomorrow with sorrow
#31
when i was in grade this 1st grader who is awesome by the way after DARE (resisting drugs and violence program) the school nurse gets on the bus for no reason and everybody is quiet. then this kid is like "I like alcohol!" the whole bus laughs. the nurse is like " JOEY DID YOU NOT LEARN NOTHING THIS WEEK?!?!"
and he is like "no MS. good grammer."
he was kicked off the bus and she got pwnt.
#32
Well, the dumbest thing ever done around me was this. Me, and two of my buddies were hanging out over at one of their houses. We were messing around on his guitar and bass, and we only had 1 single input amp. We were going to see if the bass would plug into a karaoke machine while I played on the amp, so, one of my buddies is completely disoriented for a moment and used one cord to plug the amp and karaoke machine together, and then picked up an unplugged microphone, my other friend pissed his pants laughing.

I was just like "No, that's not how you...Patrick, give me the cord."
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools
#33
"Is Sonic from Earth? Where's Sonic from? Like, the hedgehog."

Geez. Everyone knows he's from Earth except in the comics and cartoons where he's from planet Mobius.
Last edited by iamded at Jul 6, 2007,
#35
"OMG! Bacon is so much better than sex!"

this was said in a completely serious manner by a chunky not very attractive looking girl whilst I was in summer school. Needless to say, I had to leave the room because I never thought in my life i'd actually get to hear someone who looked like her say that. I never laughed harder in my entire life.
Quote by richwatkinson
haha You pwned an entire website....i bow down...

TheDudeBox
#36
"DUDE!!! St. Anger was AWESOME!"

I'm glad I'm not a violent person in any way, shape, or form.



Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#37
Quote by Robo Trippin
In the 6th grade we had some drug awareness week and one of those days was about steroids. One of our coaches was a big black dude at least above 50, this is how he convinced me at least to never do steroids:

"Ok nah, don be doin dema steroids to get all buff and stuff. Replace soma dem roidz wiff steak... and potatoez... trust me. You be all like, 'STEAK N TATOEZ IS MAKIN ME ALL BUFF AND IT'S CRAZEH!!! Nah in 10 years you be walkin down da road and yo friends dey be all like, clutchin their sides going, 'GODDAMN MY ROIDZ IS HURTIN!! MY ROIDZ IS HURTIN!' and you be all like, 'Steak n tatoez (flex here)... steak n tatoez (flex here as well)'.

That one's up there for sure.




I can picture that whole speech in my head
With a name like Yakult, it has to be good. Vote Yakult.

Member #11 of the "...Still Waiting for the Zombie
Holocaust" club. PM Smokey Amp


Roland Deschain of UG's Heroes and Villains Clubs.
#38
Quote by SOADFanSince'98


I can picture that whole speech in my head


+634634262

Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#39
I once told a friend there was a bridge connecting Australia to china and she believed me...why are my friends stupid
Quote by charvel_man
"My lovely lady lumps"
What the **** are lady lumps? What does she have, breast cancer?

Bacchus basses FTW!
www.japanvintageguitars.com