First of all, I know you'll prolly think it's balls, but since its the first thing i ever tried to write, i dont give a dam
also its just a doodle, and i was down when i wrote it

My Goodbye

It's been a month
Since you went away
And now I start to wonder
Was this your way
Of making me pay?

These days are filled
with memories of you
Thinking about why you left
What did i do?

I started to wonder
was it worth all this s***
Did you even like me?
I think not one bit...

(and now for the emo-part :P)

So this it it?
Is this how it ends?
then i'll say goodbye to you
and goodbye to my friends

This little note
is all that remains
not that you'd care
You never cared about my pain

You'll never cry
or mourn my death
And as I fall
You can catch your breath....

Please go easy on me xD
hey its better then someone who cant write for **** ad you cant tell what the rhythem is keep it up youll get much better and could you crit my song its called she said i shoulda pulled out
I would say for the first time it wasn't bad at all. Have you been writting for long? Let me add that you had a good ryhme going on and with time you will defiantly create more imagery, expanded vocabulary, and some "one liners" or zingers.