#1
new little game i just thought of.

its called "My boss is the sort of c*nt that..."

the rules are simple. just list reasons that your employer is a ****. there are no winners. only workaday, jobsworth losers, but hey, it might make you feel better about your existence.

i'll go first.

My Boss is the sort of c*nt that refers to every possible computer format as a spreadsheet. be it folder, word document whatever. its always "open up that spreadsheet". ironically, he always refers to "spreadsheets" as "the database"

My boss is the sort of c*nt that pisses off to america every other week and spends 500 dollars on cigars (im privy to his accounts), yet refuses to honor the "discretionary bonus" he offers everyone.

My boss is the sort of c*nt that charges prostitutes to his company credit card, then gets found out by his wife (true story)

My boss is the sort of c*nt that gets annoyed because his staff cant read his mind

My boss is the sort of c*nt that reads everyones emails before they do and doesnt tell anyone, which means we (i) have to deal with disgruntled clients who have had no response.

theres more, so so much more, but i'll give someone else a chance to vent against the fuhrer of their office.
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#3
My boss is the sort of **** that makes me work sunday mornings starting at 6, rain hail or shine, even if ive played a gig the night before and got home at 4am pissed as.....
Frank Zappa's not dead. He just smells funny.
#4
my boss is the kind of **** that doesnt pay me, i havent been paid since april. that fuka is in for a rude shock...
Quote by NGD1313
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#6
My boss is the sort of cunt that pays below minimum wage and doest put me on the books so I cant take them to court. She has everyone wrapped round her little finger to say that I dont work there.

This was two years ago though..... When I was desperate for the money.
Sat in a lab, curing diseases. They actually LET me play with chemicals!
#8
Quote by FunkasPuck

My boss is the sort of c*nt that charges prostitutes to his company credit card, then gets found out by his wife (true story)

i don't know how prostitutes can take credit cards....
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#9
My boss is the sort of c*nt that cant set the roster right and then goes ape sh*t about people not turning up.

My boss is the sort of c*nt that re-designs positions of various items without telling anybody.

My boss is the sort of c*nt that doesnt give me any shifts for weeks when I tell them im not going to be in on a night, rosters me on anyway and I get a call halfway through the f*cking gig asking where I am.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#11
Quote by FunkasPuck
new little game i just thought of.


My boss is the sort of c*nt that charges prostitutes to his company credit card, then gets found out by his wife (true story).


you can pay on card?
Originally posted by Diminishedfaith

6. Lied? Would I?
10. Done LSD? who's she?
17. Cheated on someone? it was an accident, i didnt remember i had the gameshark on.....
41. Been called a *****?yes, they rate me 5 stars...
46. Kissed someone in a moving vehicle?no, i dont have insurance
#12
My boss is the sort of **** that makes me put new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now.
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#13
My boss is the sort of **** that will come to your house and take your PS2 memory card when you want to play Final Fantasy.
#14
Quote by Alix_D
I quit my job the other gay, but my employers were pretty sound really.


omg lmao.
Rainbow
(I'm not gay)
#15
Quote by thebassmaster
you can pay on card?



apparently so.

they are "massage parlours".

thats how his wife found out. she divorced him.
in a very tenuous and small way, i win.
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#16
Quote by gallagher2006
My boss is the sort of **** that will come to your house and take your PS2 memory card when you want to play Final Fantasy.


You actually LET HIM!?

Why did you even let him into your house?
#17
Quote by FunkasPuck
apparently so.

they are "massage parlours".

thats how his wife found out. she divorced him.
in a very tenuous and small way, i win.


Surely prostitutes have realised that massage parlours is now associated with them. Surely they should use something else to show on the statement like "bobs toolshop" or something?

You won because your boss got divorced or that prostitute can be paid on card.
Originally posted by Diminishedfaith

6. Lied? Would I?
10. Done LSD? who's she?
17. Cheated on someone? it was an accident, i didnt remember i had the gameshark on.....
41. Been called a *****?yes, they rate me 5 stars...
46. Kissed someone in a moving vehicle?no, i dont have insurance
#20
My boss (manager at Woolworths) left to find a new job but obviously failed to do so and returned 2 months later. What a loser.

I'm so relieved I only work there one day a week, I could NEVER do a full time job in a shop, so depressing. I often look down on the young people that do work there full-time (no disrespect to anyone who does on here).
#22
My boss is the kind of cunt that has to leave for a hours and hours everyday to go measure stuff and leave me alone in the workshop with nothing to do..

Oh well, more UG time for me
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#23
My boss is one of the coolest dudes ever. We've been friends since junior high and now I work for him. I work the night shift and last night he gave a couple of us ice cream cones and told us to take an extra break because he was going to.
#24
Quote by thebassmaster

You won because your boss got divorced or that prostitute can be paid on card.


both. sluts ftw
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#25
My boss is the kindof c*nt that never really left high school. Now, getting closer and closer to the big four-o she still forms her little cliques and goes out "clubbing" despite being a good 4 stone heavier than she mustve been in her hayday, having three kids (by different fathers) and having to cover her grey roots with the most revolting black/purple hair dye I have ever seen. It looks like it was coloured in with a marker pen.

My boss is the kindof c*nt that apparently is unaware of the concept of proffesionalism. Despite being a self-proclaimed manager, she f*cks up the order every fortnight, she has no idea of organisation-everything is on post it notes stored in a winnie the pooh folder, she makes a big deal of doing the rota every month (despite the rota never ever changing) and most annoyingly of all. She honestly believes that the word specifically is actually pronounced pacifically. now the last time i checked the pacific was an ocean. So unless she's referring to something being relative to a large stretch of water and I've just misunderstood. She is a first class idiot.
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#26
i quit my job because my boss is a ****. she is so stupid. trying to get money to go to her instead of the company. people park in the lot and they pay monthly so she pockets the money. its ****ed up
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#27
my teacher (fat and old) lifted her shirt up in class and started scratching herself, then took johns phone and shoved it in her bra *shudders*