#1
This song is very personal to me. I have trouble reading it to be honest. I have no idea what to think of it. So tell me what you think. Feel free to be as critical as you want.


You please me
But you’re tearing me up inside
I want to feel the warmth of your body
The softness of your lips

You touch me
But I can never touch you
You reach out for me
But quickly pull back

(Chorus)
It’s that look in her eye
that keeps bringing me back
I can’t help loving this girl
I can’t help coming back


I love the way you caress my face
But you scream and shout
When I reach for you
Stop tearing me apart

Why do I think
You are something you’re not
makes no sense at all
this so called attraction you shine

(Chorus)

Why won’t you love me like I want you to?
Do you even love me at all?
You hurt me but I never want to hurt you
What’s in this for you

You’re turning me upside down
Nothing is right anymore
My emotions are a tangled mess
You’ve turned me into a wreck
Been used and worn out all the time

And girl…
It’s all because of you….
#2
it's pretty good. I actually feel the same way as the dude in the song.. and i've also wrote something similar loll but anyway i like it
#3
Hmm, this is a decent song, and I'm sure that almost everyone on this planet can relate to it, but there are some serious flaws in it.
Firstly, there is no focus, the song keeps talking about this girl you want, without any direction or point, it just keeps on meandering on your frustration.
Secondly, there isn't enough juice in the song, stuff like 'the softness of your lips' is what makes a song from good to great, you should spice it up, put in more images, and really make the reader feel what you feel when you think about her.
And here are some more specific issues:
- During the entire song you refer to this girl as "you", but in the chorus you distance her, and call her "her", maybe I don't notice the point that this serves, but this could easily be changed to "you", adding some consistency to the song.
- In the fourth verse, the last word "Shine" isn't the right word to use there, I understand what you mean, you mean project, you should find a better word to put in there.

Still, this song is good, and with some tune ups, you could make this song great .