#1
Don't have a title yet.

She Said-'Buy me Diet Coke and I'm yours to keep'
So I Wrote....


"Untitled"

Give me a new heart
And with that your love,

Give me a box of matches
And a new pair of lungs,

Give me a new home
Without the broken words,

Give me a new feeling
So I can feel alive for once,

You come back to me
So I can make sure your okay,

Give him to the lions
So he has no part in our play,

I'll give you a new script
So you will fall for me again,

I gave you Diet Coke
So you'd be mine until the end,

I also gave you everything
But that was not enough,

So if I give you my world again
This time will it be real love?
#2
The nice thing is you based this off of a realistic event, and so much that I give you great job..


The Title could be based off the persons name or a word from the theme of this song,

which I have reason to believe that this could mean that The Gift Giving out to others brings them closer and closer to you heart.


It's up to you to decide. and By the way, if you get a Guitar and bass and drums, this will compliment it greatly. Awesome song.
#3
Hmmm, Interesting, at times witty and spiteful, and at times confused and in love, I really liked this song.
It has some flaws though, I'll start off with the small ones, the third and fifth stanza's have bad flow, and the eighth just feels too well, stupid compared to the rest of the song, and pulls it all down.
The only real flaw of the song is consistensy, the the first half is consistant, and good, but the second half goes all over the place, who is this "him" that you speak of in the sixth stanza? you don't mention him in any other place, is he the "other guy"? you should either take this part out or elaborate about "him", otherwise its very confusing.
Secondly, the writing goes downhill terribely towards the end, especially with the last two stanzas, they get the point across, but don't feel as clever and pretty as the rest of the song, you should work on those parts.
C4C? my latest song is "your gloom" in my sig.