#1
Poem: There are a couple of foreign phrases, but I don't think they're so rare you won't easily found out their meaning.


Hill of bones;
sinking in to the Pits.
He stands by them
as they fall,
praying to God-doesn’t-know-what.

Ricocheting bullets
thundering from blunderbusses and bayonets
crack the air above his head.
They tear through time
and space.
He stood upon the bodies,
stared across the void,
declaring to the uninterested world,
bien fait!

The wireless sat idle
on a rickety table,
one leg in a puddle of red mud.
Strange and foreign words it spoke;
illegitimi non carborundum.
And as he gazed across the land of no man,
he sighed.
He muddied his knees in prayer,
looked skyward,
breathed in the choking fumes.
Death has a sweet taste.
#2
Well done dude i like your piece just alittle tweaking and a little fixing up and the song will be great
#3
"uninterested"
I thought that word was rather weak, and being the last English before the foreign phrase I think it's important for this to have a bit more impact.
"one leg in a puddle of red mud."
the first time I read this through I thought the wireless had one leg in a puddle. You might want to adjust the syntax.
"Strange and foreign words it spoke"
well yes it seems rather obvious when it's confirmed in the next line, I think you might be able to do more with this line.
"land of no man"
I didn't find the twisting of no man's land particularly welcome here.

Otherwise quite good, and I enjoyed it.
If you have time please crit mine: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=626080
Jesse Wants To Die Just As Much As You Want Him Dead