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#1
Put all musical based jokes here. I need a laugh.

Here a few to start you off...

What the difference between Billie Joe Armstrong's guitar and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.


What the difference between Billie Joe Armstrong's guitar and a lawsuit?

Everbodys happy when the case is closed.

^FrenchyEdit: This makes no sense whatsoever...


How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?

5 - one to hold it in place and 4 to drink beer until the room spins.


No flaming or SPAMing or whatever.

Just for a laugh. I've also searched this type of thread and it doen't exist already and if I have broken any rules please tell me and I'll delete.

GO FOR IT!!!!!
Last edited by FrenchyFungus at Jul 15, 2007,
#2
Quote by Greg Harper



How many guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?

5 - one to hold it in place and 4 to drink beer until the room spins.

!



haha

So true
Random Metal-X fact:

Metal-X now sponsors: Blood Culprit!


"Ass Fuckingly Loud"

\m/^_^\m/ New Songs Up!!! \m/^_^\m/
#3
how do you know you dont have a life?

you make threads like this


hahahahahahahohohohohohohhohoho!...oh i kill me!
#4
what was that? you have a g-string you say? you sick ****.
I don't even shred
#6
I Just Made This Up Haha. Its Awful.

What Did Yngwie Malmsteen Say In Court?

Unleash The ****ing Jury.
#7
Why do guitarrists keep drumsticks on their dash-boards?
So that they can park in the handy-caped spot.
#8
Quote by simbottexal
I Just Made This Up Haha. Its Awful.

What Did Yngwie Malmsteen Say In Court?

Unleash The ****ing Jury.

That's such a bad joke that it's funny haha.
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#9
A guy gets lost in New York, on his way to a show. So he asks a street musician, "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"

The musician replies, "Practice, man, practice"
#11
Oldest joke in history.

I broke a G string while fingering A minor.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
#13
Im A Goldmine Of Bad Jokes.

What Did They Guitar Say To The Guitarist?

Pick On Someone Your Own Size!

..Sorry
#14
Frenchy, I was thinking the same thing.
Call Me Joe
Quote by wesleyisgay
IF MATT DAMON DIES TOMMAROW

FUK



Communist Mormon of 2.21.19.8

Caffeine Head of The Bass Militia
#15
What do you call a guitarist who just broke up with his girlfriend?


Homeless


har har
<Han> I love Hitler
#16
how do you get an electric guitarist to turn his amp down?
put sheet music in front of him.

how do you know the stage is level?
the drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth

why don't upright bass players worry?
the can't fret.

how many rock guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
eleven. one to change it ten to say how they could have done it so much better.

how many folk guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
eleven. one to change it ten to sing about how the old one was so much better.

how many bass players does it thake to change a light bulb?
who cares their never in the light anyway!

how many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
none. get a monkey to do it it's much safer.

that's all i can remember off hand....
#17
Whats The Difference Between A Guitar And Tuna?

You Can Tune A Guitar But You Can't Tuna Fish!
#18
Quote by simbottexal
Whats The Difference Between A Guitar And Tuna?

You Can Tune A Guitar But You Can't Tuna Fish!

kill yourself.
#20
Quote by simbottexal
Whats The Difference Between A Guitar And Tuna?

You Can Tune A Guitar But You Can't Tuna Fish!



Ha I forgot that one...
#21
You show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A flat Minor.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#22
awww I like his cheesy jokes. I had a teacher who saw me walking around with a guitar and said "Late for class? Don't fret about it!"

...it was awful.
Dem Dry Bones
Current read: I Am America (And You Can Too) (Stephen Colbert)
Album of the Week: Four Thieves Gone (The Avett Brothers)
#24
Nine Inch Nails.


ba dum chh.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#25
A famous composer decides to perform Beethoven's symphonies in succession at a grand event at Carnegie Hall. Naturally, the show was sold out standing room only. The show gradually progressed without a hitch, with breaks in between symphonies, until it comes time to Beethoven's 9th. Everyone is a bit nervous as the event is coming to a grand crescendo, and the composer is dismayed to see the entire bass section is passing liquor around to calm their nerves. The symphony begins, and starts strong, but the orchestra begins to fall apart halfway through. Frantic, the composer flips through the sheet music to find a point to restart, but he turns to hard and the music stand falls over, sending the sheet music flying.

Trying to maintain order, the composer realized his worst nightmare had come true: It was bottom of the ninth, no score, and the basses were loaded.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#27
Quote by The Leader
A famous composer decides to perform Beethoven's symphonies in succession at a grand event at Carnegie Hall. Naturally, the show was sold out standing room only. The show gradually progressed without a hitch, with breaks in between symphonies, until it comes time to Beethoven's 9th. Everyone is a bit nervous as the event is coming to a grand crescendo, and the composer is dismayed to see the entire bass section is passing liquor around to calm their nerves. The symphony begins, and starts strong, but the orchestra begins to fall apart halfway through. Frantic, the composer flips through the sheet music to find a point to restart, but he turns to hard and the music stand falls over, sending the sheet music flying.

Trying to maintain order, the composer realized his worst nightmare had come true: It was bottom of the ninth, no score, and the basses were loaded.


hahahaha

Genius.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#28
Quote by The Leader
A famous composer decides to perform Beethoven's symphonies in succession at a grand event at Carnegie Hall. Naturally, the show was sold out standing room only. The show gradually progressed without a hitch, with breaks in between symphonies, until it comes time to Beethoven's 9th. Everyone is a bit nervous as the event is coming to a grand crescendo, and the composer is dismayed to see the entire bass section is passing liquor around to calm their nerves. The symphony begins, and starts strong, but the orchestra begins to fall apart halfway through. Frantic, the composer flips through the sheet music to find a point to restart, but he turns to hard and the music stand falls over, sending the sheet music flying.

Trying to maintain order, the composer realized his worst nightmare had come true: It was bottom of the ninth, no score, and the basses were loaded.

How anticlimactic...
#29
Quote by The Leader
A famous composer decides to perform Beethoven's symphonies in succession at a grand event at Carnegie Hall. Naturally, the show was sold out standing room only. The show gradually progressed without a hitch, with breaks in between symphonies, until it comes time to Beethoven's 9th. Everyone is a bit nervous as the event is coming to a grand crescendo, and the composer is dismayed to see the entire bass section is passing liquor around to calm their nerves. The symphony begins, and starts strong, but the orchestra begins to fall apart halfway through. Frantic, the composer flips through the sheet music to find a point to restart, but he turns to hard and the music stand falls over, sending the sheet music flying.

Trying to maintain order, the composer realized his worst nightmare had come true: It was bottom of the ninth, no score, and the basses were loaded.


The Leader=Epic Win!
In an interstellar burst! I am back to save the universe...
#33
Quote by The Leader
A famous composer decides to perform Beethoven's symphonies in succession at a grand event at Carnegie Hall. Naturally, the show was sold out standing room only. The show gradually progressed without a hitch, with breaks in between symphonies, until it comes time to Beethoven's 9th. Everyone is a bit nervous as the event is coming to a grand crescendo, and the composer is dismayed to see the entire bass section is passing liquor around to calm their nerves. The symphony begins, and starts strong, but the orchestra begins to fall apart halfway through. Frantic, the composer flips through the sheet music to find a point to restart, but he turns to hard and the music stand falls over, sending the sheet music flying.

Trying to maintain order, the composer realized his worst nightmare had come true: It was bottom of the ninth, no score, and the basses were loaded.



YES!
"That Hidde's a cool guy" -Abe Lincoln
"Hidde? Yeah we jam all the time" -Steve Vai
"Remember that time when burt jumped out of the tree and into the river? Good times!" -Jesus

So I heard you liek profiles?
#34
I'm surprised no one's went all ape shit about my joke.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#35
Quote by fallenangel20
I'm surprised no one's went all ape shit about my joke.


You want us too?

Okay...

Quote by fallenangel20
Nine Inch Nails.


ba dum chh.



OMG You suck!!

I H8z UUUZZ!!

fallenangel20 = Epic Failurez!!!!

Die please like, ZOmG!



Happy?

(But seriously, screw you! Not funny! )

Q: What did the one guitar say to the other?

A: Nothing, guitars don't talk, the guitarists do!




#36


i saw this on the you lagh you lose thread,


it kills emo kittens with a battle axe of rock as it raises a gobblet to the heavens and....

I think I just blacked out for a second
Founder of the "Foundation to replace Jacob's stolen phone foundation of America" PM me to contribute to this noble cause, no donation is too small, or large for that matter
#37
Quote by stepco12345
You want us too?

Okay...


OMG You suck!!

I H8z UUUZZ!!

fallenangel20 = Epic Failurez!!!!

Die please like, ZOmG!



Happy?

(But seriously, screw you! Not funny! )



haha

It was just weird how no one even acknowledged it.

And I was being serious, so at least I go a serious answer as well.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#38
Quote by fallenangel20
haha

It was just weird how no one even acknowledged it.

And I was being serious, so at least I go a serious answer as well.





I used to think you were cool.
#39
Quote by iplayguitar88
What do a cup of coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?

They both suck without Cream


My middle finger goes out to you

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
#40
Quote by stepco12345


I used to think you were cool.

Dude called me a "waterhead" like 5 months ago...nothing cool about that
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