#1
This is a thread about the funny changes in the world that you would make if you were god for one day.

Make some good ones and remember its all in good humor.
#3
I would visit every half-crazed homeless person and tell them something completely outrageous that I would do upon my glorious return, then tell them to preach it on every street corner.
Is it a bad thing if one of your testicles is larger then the other two?
#5
If I was God I'd dissapear because I wouldn't believe in my own existence and thus my own almighty will would cast me into oblivion.
#6
All men would pee upwards in an incredibly fast stream, and only I would know therefore everyone gets piss in their eyes/face.
#9
Keith Richards would die (I love him, but I'd do it just to prove everyone wrong).
Pokemon would exist.
Friedman, Ellefson and Menza would rejoin Megadeth..
Yeah. I'd probably do something more meaningful if I was God, but those are just examples.
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
#10
I'd sleep in, then after I woke up I would get really stoned.

Then I'd have to end world hunger because I would have the munchies.

Then I would jam on the guitar and beat master mode on Gitaroo Man before I fell back to sleep.
Random Metal-X fact:

Metal-X now sponsors: Blood Culprit!


"Ass Fuckingly Loud"

\m/^_^\m/ New Songs Up!!! \m/^_^\m/
#11
If I was God there would be no mystery of my existance.
If I was God there would be no mystery in my ways.
If I was God everyone would have a "Mean people suck" bumper sticker.
If I was God the Pittsburgh Steelers would beat the Cowboys every year in the Superbowl.
If I was God Meths would have 38DD man tits for the rest of his life.
If I was God there would be no virgins in heaven.
If I was God beer would be free.
If I was God war would be replaced by scrabble.
If I was God women would receive equal treatment from every man that owned one.
If I was God you would all probably be fucked.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#12
If I were God I'd put boobies on women and make men jealous because they didn't have them.


... oh, wait. God already played that joke.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#13
Cancel Gilmore Girls...or is it already over? Anyway, I would take that show off the air.
Green Tinted Sixties Mind
#14
if i was God i would microwave a burrito so hot that i myself couldn't eat it
#15
Quote by JP31
if i was God i would microwave a burrito so hot that i myself couldn't eat it

Doesn't that exist? Except it's frozen solid in the middle....uhhhm HOT POCKETS!@!@!@!
#16
Quote by feedthenight
Doesn't that exist? Except it's frozen solid in the middle....uhhhm HOT POCKETS!@!@!@!


how dare you compare my super awesome god burrito with these ''hot pockets''!!
#17
Quote by feedthenight
Doesn't that exist? Except it's frozen solid in the middle....uhhhm HOT POCKETS!@!@!@!



If I were God I'd put that Asian man that says... "You no hungry for _____ you hungry for Hot Pockets!" In every home.
#18
If I was God Koreans would be banned.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#19
make hayley williams fall in love with me and kill fall out boy and P!ATD
LEAFS FOR CUP
#21
If I were God. Not "was".


if i WAS God id smite you for correcting me.
#22
I'd be handing out new diseases left and right. Anyone I don't like gets the bubonic plague, or the super aids or the bird flu.

I'd probaly make lots of people spontaneosly combust too. I'd also make my computor have a huge hard drive for all the metal in the world.

On different note, wouldn't it be funny if god was just some fat guy computor geek with a super computor and an amazing program that lets him control the world?
Quote by HuckIt
I met this chick I really liked and wanted to practice sex, so I practiced on some guy I met at a gas station...
#23
I would tell everyone to stop looking up to me, and to make their own damn decisions.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#24
Quote by Slaytanic6606

On different note, wouldn't it be funny if god was just some fat guy computor geek with a super computor and an amazing program that lets him control the world?


#25
make pearl jam immortal so they could never stop makin awesome music!!!
guarantee that there is no such thing as global warming
make appearances in bars and places like that so people would actually believe in me
Fender American Standard Stratocaster
Ibanez TS-9
EHX Big Muff Pi
Companion Fuzz Box
EHX Pulsar
Boss DD-6
Fender Hot Rod Deville 212
#26
A few things come to mind:

  • Take a dump long enough to put the World's Largest Bathroom out of service indefinitely.
  • Instead of sinking the Titanic, I would veer them off course into the Bermuda Triangle and let everyone but two people fall victim to the forces I installed there. Then those other two people would live an unnatural amount of years and would get sent to a funny farm in New Jersey because they had some crazy story about what happened there. The ship would still exist, though, just because I want to see what a world without Robert D. Ballard would be like 'cause I'm that much of an ass.
  • Put Kim Jong Il's grandpa in service on the Brittanic, just at the point where that missile or mine or whatever it was blew a huge ass hole in it's side. Then, ha-ha, no more North Korea and their crappy missiles and cheap goods.
  • I would make Bob Doyle British. Why? I dunno. I guess I want to see a redundant British person.
  • Give all members of the RIAA a one-way trip to the ninth circle of Hell. Judas can take a coffee break for one day 'cause the dick that runs that organization is gonna take his place. (Read Dante's Inferno, or at least do a Wikipedia search, you bunch of inbreds. )
  • Make Botch the official band of Washington State ... yeah.
  • Give Kentucky a better rep and give it something interesting. Just 'cause. ... Well, ya gotta give one of those state some slack. Sorry Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas. This god shall show that much less pity to ye, especially since you folks in Arkansas gave us Sam Walton. Shame.
  • Make Pokemon real then make them extinct. Just 'cause I felt like it.
Music is a weapon. Use it wisely.


"So retire the ships, the final voyage was his ..."


Quote by kaktusnpoop (on Norma Jean)
I think they use Botch guitars tuned to drop Botch.
#27
If I were God. Not "was".
If I was God you would have no fingers and would spend eternity typing with your fucking nose
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#28
I once went to God, just to see, but I was looking at me.

I saw heaven and hell were lies.

When I'm God, everyone dies.
Quote by ShizNick
Ok I think we're all good now. We're on the same page, and I'm back to trying to get with his sister.

^That's how you do it, kids!
Member #3 of the Iron Maiden Are Gods club. PM Revelations to join!

I write, apparently!
#29
If I were God, I would probably abuse my powers to make myself undeniably irresistible to women, and whenever they saw me they would want to have a threesome. With a second woman, of course.
In an interstellar burst! I am back to save the universe...
#30
ok, serious story, I **** u not.

so I'm in a biking class at my school and one kid who is probably stoned (hes one of the kids that smokes pot at my school) and he comes up to the teacher and goes "I KNOW WHAT I WANNA BE WHEN I GROW UP!" teacher asks "what?"
the kid responds with "GOD!!!!"
I say "so I won't belive in you?"
he says "no because l'll turn that fence over there into a snake and make it eat you"

twas pretty awsome
Quote by bpoeoanry
go back to sleep
Waking up with boobs? Is there a visine for that.
#31
If I were god I'll make every single woman in the world so damn hot that everyone would be banging 24/7 360 days of the year and we all die having sex

Ill make them quite easy too
#32
Quote by Amalgam
If I were God, I would probably abuse my powers to make myself undeniably irresistible to women, and whenever they saw me they would want to have a threesome. With a second woman, of course.
Pfft! Well then, forget about me inviting you to my next spit roast, God-boy. I hear Satan parties harder than you anyway.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#33
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
Pfft! Well then, forget about me inviting you to my next spit roast, God-boy. I hear Satan parties harder than you anyway.


Ugh!



/Sad Amalgam.
In an interstellar burst! I am back to save the universe...