#1
im in inclusion for the day at school wrote this today,

please crit.

Its not just a nightmare

Ill wake up at midnight,
In a cold sweat and in tears,
Ill see your lips last moments,
And that fateful thing I did,

Its not just a nightmare,
Its ****ing Reality,
Its not just a nightmare,
And I still think I love you,

I can still remember,
Your one last kiss,
But by then you were gone,
Out on the other side of life,

Its not just a nightmare,
Its ****ing Reality,
Its not just a nightmare,
And I still think I love you,

I cry myself to sleep,
One day soon ill join you there,
Wherever you are,
As I cant take this guilt,
That ill have to face,

Its not just a nightmare,
Its reality.
#2
I think you have a nice thing going. It definitely needs some work, but I think it'll be great. The first verse was good, but after that it kind of faded out and seemed overly repetitive. It's good though, keep working on it.

Crit mine?
http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=629543
Can't say I was never wrong
But some blame rests on you


Work and play they're never okay
To mix the way we do
#3
Its good with a touch of emo. You started off really well with the opening stanza but it kind of went down hill from there. Dont get me wrong, its a good bit of writing but could have been better. This bit -

'Its not just a nightmare,
Its ****ing Reality,
Its not just a nightmare,
And I still think I love you'

'and I still think I love you' just seems tacked on. Crit 4 crit? - https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=629724
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky