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#1
my favorite and the funniest movie of all time.

whats your favorite part?

mine:

Did he just say cock stain. what the fuck is a cock stain?

thats that white freaky shit.
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#4
Grandmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Let me help you out of your chair!

Jay and Randall kickass.
#5
The first one was infinitely better, however:

Randal Graves: Why haven't you ****ed Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the ****'s Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.
[Randal stares]
Elias: Pillow Pants is her pussy troll?
[scoffs]
Elias: Duh. You know how every girl's parents put a pussy troll in them when the girls are young, to keep them from having premarital sex?
Randal Graves: ...Sure.
Elias: Well Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so even though she totally wants to have sex with me, Myra says that if I put my... thing in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off. So, I gotta wait until Pillow Pants get peed out of her body on her 21st birthday before we can have sex.
Randal Graves: [floored] And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff Randal. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have if it weren't for Listerfiend.
Randal Graves: [beat] Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Elias: [shakes head] Women.

That is one hilarious exchange.

Edit: And when Dante kisses Becky and his wife catches him and Jay hands her the cake and yells "Here! Hit that two-timing **** with this!"
Last edited by Inimical at Jul 17, 2007,
#6
Pillowpants!!!!
Please Stay,
Until I'm Gone,
I'm Here Hold On,
To Me I'm Right Here,
Waiting,
And Take My One Last Breath,
And Dont Forget,
That I Will Be Right Here,
Waiting
#7
Quote by -DarkStar-
Pillowpants!!!!

+1654984984654.5468410845401
Originally Posted by evening_crow
Quoting yourself is cool.


WARNING: I kill threads.
#9
that movie makes me want to go Go-carting...but yeah pillow pants and "porch monkey 4 life". dont worry im taking it back
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#10
Quote by krymson
Grandmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Let me help you out of your chair!

Jay and Randall kickass.



grandma what was it like, to be on that holiday site?


Fuc*ing middle town cop pulls us over for suspicion of mischief.

what the hell does that mean?

we were driving around with a deployed airbag
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#11
Is that a fucking bible!?

Jay: Hey hey, the Holy fucking Bible son!
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools
#12
Elias: Randall, One Ring to Rule them all
Randall: and you wonder why no chick will let you stick your cock in her
Elias: i never wonder that
Randall: yeah, cause you've accepted the fact that you'll never get a chick a long time ago
Elias: pfft i could get a chick if i wanted
Randall: you can't get a girl ya mook, you're too weird and sad
Elias: I turn down chicks left and right
Randall: your chicks are your left and right
Elias: yeah, well what do you know
Randall: i know you're a huge fuckin nerd of potsie llike proportions, and no chicks dig nerds, especially one that are into Lord of the Rings
Elias:*laughs* Chicks dig lord of the rings Randall
Randall: yeah well checks that are into swords and elves and shit, i wouldn't fuck with the torch of Gondor
#13
Randal- You gotta be as blind as Anne Frank not to see that.
Dante- *chuckle* Anne Frank?
Randal- Yea, Anne Frank. She was deaf, dumb and blind.
Dante- You're talking about Hellen Keller.
Randal- Are you sure?
Dante- Yep.
Randal-.....Then who the fuck's Anne Frank?
Dante- You know, she was the little German girl,she hid from the Nazis, she had a diary?
Randal- Oh...yea. Well, he kinda like Anne Frank, with the diary and all.
Dante- *aggrivated* No! He's like Hellen Keller, with the wheelchair you creep!
Randal- Yea, yea. You're always right, you Nazi douchebag. *picks up headphones and talks into the mic* Yea, yea. What you do you want? *pause* No, we don't sell Cow Tippers in the morning. Freedom Toast is a possibility.


Yea. I could go on and on.
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#15
I loved the part where they talked about Lord of the Rings haha.
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#16
Lotr part haha

Too funny.

"Three movies about walking....Even the fucking trees walked in those movies!"
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Last edited by Liam Alan at Jul 17, 2007,
#17
Randall's take on The Lord of the Rings movies was my favourite part by far.

"...Did you know Jesus was a Jew?"
#18
"ass to mouth!"
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Ian Mackaye confuses a shot of heroin with his insulin, and hilarity ensues.
#19
^one ring to rule them all
and one to find them
and in the darkness bind them.
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#20
some one spray painted EAT PUSSY in green bold letters on the high school near where i live... i had a few good laughs when i saw that ...
#22
yeah, the porchmonkey part and the pussy troll
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#23
My favorite part of clerks 2 was when I accidentally put in Clerks. (1) and watched it instead
Quote by Roger_Waters
^ wow i actually almost missed that hahaha iforgot your a genious


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#25
^not to have a big head about my thread, but it SHOULD be stickied!
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#27
Quote by Budd_Dwyer
When it ends, overrated piece of **** movie..



GTFO


"so they are coming out with a new transformers movie"

"Wow, man your going to be rolling in the pussy now"


AND


"**** the cops are here, better finish!" at the Donkey scene
#28
As said before, the prochmonkey part.

Also when there at the donkey show and Randall starts wanking.


"Im sorry Jesus!!"




First Clerks is way better though.
UNFORGIVEABLE
#29
"At the end I thought Sam was gonna saunter over to Frodo and brick in his mouth"
#30
The huge LotR scene was hilarious.

The jackson 5 abc up on the roof was cool, and she looked pretty hot as well.

The interspecies erotica.

The porch monkey.

Classic film.

First clerks was also hilarious and brilliant for its budget.

Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back and Mallrats are also highly recomended. I'd also say Chasing Amy and Dogma but I'm yet to see them.
#31
elias: are you looking to build a tribute site for both lord of the rings and the transformers? because i'd moderate them both for free.

randal: shut the **** up, go-bot.

lance dowds: hey hey hey, don't insult the guy! the go-bots are like the k-mart transformers.

elias: THANK YOU! i keep telling him that!
#33
"its like if your grandmother called you a little kike"

"no way my grandmother had the most respect for the jewish community, she always said be good to the jewish kids or they'll put the sheeny curse on you"

"what the **** man!, sheeny is a racial slur too"

"no its not"

"yeah it is"

"well i still dont think porch monkey should be considered racist, i mean i always used it to describe lazy people, not lazy black people, anyway i think if we tried hard enough we could take it back"

"you cant take it back, the sole purpose of it was to demoralize an entire race, and even if you could take it back, you cant, cause your not black"

"well listen to you, telling me i cant do something because of the color of my skin, whose the racist now"

omg that whole scene was freaking hilarious, also pillow pants the pussy troll was hilarious too.
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#34
All the first Clerks was a bunch of dialogue and crap if you like those sort of movies, a few funny parts but Clerks 2 is way batter.
Dave Mustaine for president.
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#35
Quote by SinisterX
All the first Clerks was a bunch of dialogue and crap if you like those sort of movies, a few funny parts but Clerks 2 is way batter.

the first movie was supposed to have no meaning to it, but it turned out that it could mean something to many peeps who saw it. but all it was meant to be is a series of short interesting or funny sequences
#36
thee king diamond parts were awesome. and just about anything jay said ("Man, this tastes like piss and flies, doesnt it?") and any time rosario dawson is on screen
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#37
^ Yes! King Diamond.



I heard he's releasing a new album..
666 BRO
#38
Quote by Kankuro
^ Yes! King Diamond.



I heard he's releasing a new album..

"Give Me Your Soul...Please" is the title
... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
#40
Heres what king's looking like now:


and heres the new album cover:

... For A Pair Of Brown Eyes

Quote by Bladez22
smoke, you get more awesome by the minute..... You have an epic beard, live near woods, listen to metal, grill stuff using makeshift bbqs out of old cans, and now we find out you have stabbed someone in the dick
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