#1
I wrote this a little while ago, I'm kind of still going through it all, but see what you can pick up I guess. It kind of has a captivity theme aka bad relationship... I'm not very happy with it, especially with the first two lines, so any help would be appreciated. Crit for crit.


Faltering, her heart raced with pain to meet deceit,
until denial swept through his war-torn lies.
Cryptic hallucinations in the vendetta of a third person
kill Passion for Freedom.

Yielding the captor of ambition,
of compromise and hopeful promises.
Unsure whether to sever the ties, half-knot them for safety.
Drop another coin in the slot, and I will tell you more...