#1
Lady Liberty

When old lady liberty died, I fell on my knees and I cried
For every girl and boy, women and man who never met her eyes
She died on a July fourth. The same day she was born.
They burned her edges and tore her apart until she was no longer more

I remember how the people wept at the speed of the tyrant and how fast he had swept to take everything we had made, and we free started running away. They rewrote the history books. Said the revolution was very much mistook. They said they were traitors in this power game and we shall never utter their names.

And Jefferson rolled over in his grave on the fateful day.
And Franklin fell from the sky when Old Lady Liberty died.


I have another verse but I can't remember it and my book isn't with me. I'll update it tommorow.
People shouldn't be afraid of their government. Government should be afraid of their people.
#2
Quote by redrumydoolb
no longer more

I believe longer shouldn't be here or more. so it could be
no longer
or no more.
#3
highlighted means things to fix or to change

Quote by redrumydoolb
Lady Liberty

When old lady liberty died, I fell on my knees and I criedFor every girl and boy, women and man who never met her eyes
She died on a July fourth. The same day she was born.
They burned her edges and tore her apart until she was no longer more

I remember how the people wept at the speed of the tyrant and how fast he had swept to take everything we had made, and we free started running away. They rewrote the history books. Said the revolution was very much mistook. They said they were traitors in this power game and we shall never utter their names.
And Jefferson rolled over in his grave on the fateful day.
And Franklin fell from the sky when Old Lady Liberty died.



I have another verse but I can't remember it and my book isn't with me. I'll update it tommorow.



...................I don't how you even kno this.....i'm not sure if she is a real person or just a statue..i'm not sure and the whole Jefferson thing made me laugh too like he rolled in his grave...but none of this made sense at all sorry if i come off as an asshole but i think this needs alot of work dude..but nice try still..keep on trying
#4
It's about freedom and the propaganda that's destroying it. It's a a first person's perspective after the USA becomes the dictatorship that we're headed towards. I hope that helps it make sense.
People shouldn't be afraid of their government. Government should be afraid of their people.
#5
I got the meaning and thought it was quite good. You clearly feel strongly about the subject matter and this comes through in your lyrics, which can only be a good thing. Not being American, I can't really comment on the Patriotic features of the song, but from my little knowledge you were wise in the ones you chose and they were very fitting for the song. The imagery was powerful and I rather enjoyed it.
My one criticism would be the second verse doesn't really flow as well as the first, I would recommend rewriting it to try and improve this. Other than this I thought it was great.

Crit please?
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Quote by PinkIsCool
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