#1
I would really like your opinions on this. My friend writes lyrics and I think he is good at it, sometimes. But he can't take any constructive criticism at all, and he forgets any compliments I give him instantly. So I would like to know what you think of it so I can go to him with some other peoples opinions. Thanks.

Verse:

As i gaze upon the empty table, bordom is apparent to me,
sleepy like movments are bein produced with the actions of my laziness,
i kick the chair in distress nothing to repress, i feel nothing
looking up over at the clock, i behold the realisation of the empty room

Chorus:

im waiting, waiting once more for this day to end...
when all hell breaks loose i'll be waiting their kicking that chair
im waiting once again for this irritating time to end...

Verse:

well, looking down at my feet a lace is trailling
i scream to myself "oh why must this time keep me waiting"!
the fist drops the force is hard, standing now, total blood rush, one step back
a mental note to ones self "you have the door to unlock"

the key to the future awaits, unlock the door to your dreams, not everything is what it seems
just wait your turn in life and you will be repaid with end open strife...

CHORUS
im waiting, waiting once more for this day to end...
when all hell breaks loose i'll be waiting their kicking that chair
im waiting once again for this irritating time to end...

Verse:

standing at the door, the brain is phasing as i was gazing to be reckless evermore
no! my time is now and i will whistle my tune in my own way...among waiting time i say, "oh wondering rhyme please be mine"
#2
Read the rules. 1 post per day, 2 per week and if you don't read the rules thread and stick to all the others you will be warned.


Closed.
This is not a pipe